Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

A Doubtful H.O.T.

Today’s post is a combination of personal struggle and business information.  Honesty is the best policy and this blog is full of it.  I am hoping that it will help others who may be struggling with the same things in their business.  Rob and I married a little over two years ago after a LONG engagement and after finding each other again after almost 30 years.  Rob had been married before so he is used to the “marriage” thing and being the head of a household.  I on the other hand was an independent, single mom who tended to be a workaholic and a shopaholic.  To say the least, some days our two worlds collide especially when it comes to my Thirty One business.  Don’t get me wrong, Rob supports my efforts but doesn’t hesitate to remind me that I sometimes work it like a hobby instead of a business.  OUCH!

Having come into our marriage with some debt (and he has none), my biggest goal is to be able to have financial freedom and TREAT hubby to a trip where I get to pay for EVERYTHING as a result of my Thirty One business!  I have found that sharing ALL aspects of my business (the good, the bad and the ugly) does not always make for a supportive hubby.  His gentle reminder that this is a business, usually comes when I am sharing some idea that will cost more than he can see the return on as far as profit.

My FIRST lesson (still struggle with) is that I must be selective in sharing all of the details.  If he only hears me complain about the lack of parties, struggles on my team, etc – he will begin to doubt the feasibility of this being a full-time business.  Sharing about the FREE products is not necessarily a plus either.  I am sure there are many husbands who can compartmentalize the areas of their wives business but mine is clearly the facts only!  Sales vs profit margin.  If this is your hubby too, find an accountability partner who shares some of the same struggles and goals as you so you can work as a team to reach your individual goals.  I have a few women in my Thirty One upline who share this same struggle so I am learning to share with them while leaving the facts for hubby.

Lesson TWO was about EXPECTATIONS.  Sometimes Expectant Eddie jumps on the band wagon when I am struggling with things.  He gets me all confused expecting things from my hubby that is not going to happen.  Rob is a private person and expecting him to become H.O.T. (Husband of Thirty One) is not going to happen.   Expecting Rob to understand all of my crazy “thinking out of the box” ideas – is usually not going to happen.  Once I let go of that expectation, life is so much easier.

Believe it or not, I didn’t find a lot of articles on this kind of struggle.  There is information on How Family Can Help You Start Your Business from Direct Selling Education Foundation.  I even read an article from another blogger – Husband of a Proverbs Thirty-One Wife that actually gave me some great facts to share.  Still none of them addressed the skepticism that can come in the early years of building your business, especially in direct sales.   If anyone has some good articles, please share them with all of us.  Please don’t misunderstand, I do LOVE that Rob reminds me that this is a business even if the reminder does sting sometimes.

Time to get back to filling my September calendar.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.


7 thoughts on “A Doubtful H.O.T.”

  1. This post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! My hubby is seeing my investments of time and money at the moment (I just started my business last month) but he’s not seeing the profits yet. He’s obviously a bit worried that this isn’t a “real” business, and that I’m just wasting money on kids’ books and lots of stationary! This post really helped, knowing there are others going through the same thing. Thank you!!

  2. I limit how much I tell Mark about what I am doing with 31 and I am putting all of the $ I make from it IN the bank so its there and we keep working on the house or for tough winter months when our shop is closed, then when he says – WHERE did the $ come from?? i can say, oh those bags you we said were taking up too much room – LOL!

  3. I find the attitude about running your business “like a business” interesting. What does that mean? Just as an example: I am a graduate of one of the top undergrad business programs in the country and have a solo law practice. For the first five years I ran it “like a business” and hated it. It sucked. I was struggling financially and really hated my work some days, and as a guy with my background, I felt like a failure. In the last 6 – 9 months or so, I’ve begun to treat the practice of law more like a ministry. It has made such a difference in my attitude, and I think it will ultimately pay off with more satisfied clients. On the other hand, I think about your and Emily’s Thirty-One business. We all know that women shop differently than men. That’s a given. So why would we be surprised that women SELL differently than men as well. I would venture to say that you know far more than your husband about what things women need to hear to feel good about making a purchase, booking a party, etc. than I or your husband ever will. Yes, you need to prioritize your business and work it, but the way you work it may be very different from the way he does. And Thirty-One has a ton of online resources to help you shore up any weaker areas and really shine in your strengths. I really encourage you to get your husband connected with other Thirty-One husbands on Facebook. We’d love to answer any questions or complaints he has. The groups are 31manpac and H.O.T. Good luck!

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