Meeting Makers

I am sure that some of you are wondering what this is all about, right?  Almost 23 years ago when I attended my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting, I heard this quote.  That along with “90 meeting in 90 days” are what helped m in those early days of my battle with addiction.  I knew that when I was in the “rooms”, I was not alone.  As I sat in my Weight Watcher meeting on Thursday, this saying kept smacking me in the head.

When I weighed in, knowing that I was going to be up a little – SMACK!  I was up 2 pounds.  Truth is the “line in the sand” really didn’t help.  I was tempted to leave and not stay for the meeting but with some encouraging words from Nicole and Bea – I stayed around.  Nicole asked “What do you wish you knew the day that you walked into WW, that you know today?”  I had to think long and hard about this.  Many said, “it is not a diet”, “I don’t have to be perfect, to be on WW”, the meetings and the people in them always are loving and accepting..the list went on.  Believe it or not, tears started to well up and I had to hold them back.  I started to share then opted not to because I was afraid that I would be too emotional.

After loosing 105 pounds, I still don’t think of myself as being successful.  It took me about 6 years to come this far but it has been a process.  When Nicole asked me “why don’t you think you are a success?”.  I had to come to term with emotions that I have stuffed for a little while – the FEAR words creep up.  As long as I am on the journey to goal weight, I don’t have to struggle with maintaining my goal weight.  I am sure that doesn’t make sense to those who have not been on this journey.  I don’t have to feel a sense of failure if I go over goal weight by a few pounds during a month.

The word SUCCESS has come up all week long.  Coming up with my business vision board allows me to dream but getting in touch with the feelings associated with success are sooo foreign to me.  FEAR of failure strangles my ability to move forward in business and in my weight loss.  The fact that I have lost that much weight and have continued to keep it off is a SUCCESS.  What will it take for me to believe that?  I wish I had the answer to that question.  I am not giving up.  I will continue the journey to goal as long as it takes (hopefully by the end of the year).

How do you define SUCCESS for you?  If you are on a weight loss journey, are you successful even if you aren’t at goal weight?  If so, please share your strength and hopes that it might encourage others…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!