No, this is not a blog about the 70’s sitcom. It is actually about a God moment that I had during church. The sermon in a sentence was: If you are going to grow, the ministry MUST be shared. WOW! I thought this was a message just for me – a personal smack in the head from God! On the surface, I am good with change but deep down in my core – I don’t like it. I mean who does, right?
Pastor Al shared this “people in our lives are making our parachutes, God puts them there for a reason and sometimes only for a season”. He was talking about all of the changes that took place in our church over the last several months. Change is good, it shakes things up and gives us a new perspective on life. With growth sometimes comes conflict, it is inevitable. So here are some tips on dealing with conflict that I am going to apply to my business and personal life.
Here is what NOT to do when there is a conflict:
- Don’t play the BLAME game. GUILTY! When there is conflict, I have found myself talking (venting) to other Directors, family and friends about the situation – blaming the other person without taking responsibility for my part in the conflict.
- Don’t be part of the “team split”. As my team grows, there is going to be a natural team split – in a good way. To squash conflict – don’t feed into the team split with the “blame game” or “I am going to take my ball and go home attitude”. Don’t make team members take sides.
- Don’t try to stop the growth. Growth is good! Don’t try to slow it down by not recruiting or sharing your companies opportunity with others.
- Don’t lose focus. Remember your personal “WHY” and what your personal goals are instead of focusing on the conflict. God has a plan for you, personally and professionally, so do not let others steer you off course.
- Don’t overlook the needs of others. Leaders lead differently. Some team members may be attracted to the style of others which is different from yours. Does that mean your aren’t a good leader? CELEBRATE – ENCOURAGE – REWARD everyone despite the conflict. WOW! This was a double smack because I tend to take things personally!
Here is what you should do:
- Reaffirm your calling. What is God’s plan for you? Are you willing to forgo his plan while you “sit on the pity pot” during a conflict.
- Affirm the value of everyone even the negative Nellies on your team. They are your team for a reason – it may be help them or it may be the sandpaper that you need to help YOU grow. Everyone matters.
- Finally, attack the problem rather than each other. Determine what the problem is and work to find a solution to the problem.
Thank you God for using Pastor Al to get my attention. This is an area that I need to work on and these are some great tips. I know that the original message was meant for the members of the congregation but it definitely hit home with me. Are you suffering from GROWING PAINS – professionally or personally? We would love to hear from you.
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!