Growing Pains

No, this is not a blog about the 70’s sitcom.  It is actually about a God moment that I had during church.  The sermon in a sentence was: If you are going to grow, the ministry MUST be shared.  WOW!  I thought this was a message just for me – a personal smack in the head from God!  On the surface, I am good with change but deep down in my core – I don’t like it.  I mean who does, right?

Pastor Al shared this “people in our lives are making our parachutes, God puts them there for a reason and sometimes only for a season”.  He was talking about all of the changes that took place in our church over the last several months.  Change is good, it shakes things up and gives us a new perspective on life.  With growth sometimes comes conflict, it is inevitable.  So here are some tips on dealing with conflict that I am going to apply to my business and personal life.

Here is what NOT to do when there is a conflict:

1. Don’t play the BLAME game.  GUILTY!  When there is conflict, I have found myself talking (venting) to other Directors, family and friends about the situation – blaming the other person without taking responsibility for my part in the conflict.
2. Don’t be part of the “team split”.  As my team grows, there is going to be a natural team split – in a good way.  To squash conflict – don’t feed into the team split with the “blame game” or “I am going to take my ball and go home attitude”.  Don’t make team members take sides.
3. Don’t try to stop the growth.  Growth is good!  Don’t try to slow it down by not recruiting or sharing your companies opportunity with others.
4. Don’t lose focus.  Remember your personal “WHY” and what your personal goals are instead of focusing on the conflict.  God has a plan for you, personally and professionally, so do not let others steer you off course.
5. Don’t overlook the needs of others.  Leaders lead differently.  Some team members may be attracted to the style of others which is different from yours.  Does that mean your aren’t a good leader?  CELEBRATE – ENCOURAGE – REWARD everyone despite the conflict.  WOW!  This was a double smack because I tend to take things personally!

Here is what you should do:

1. Reaffirm your calling.  What is God’s plan for you?  Are you willing to forgo his plan while you “sit on the pity pot” during a conflict.
2. Affirm the value of everyone even the negative Nellies on your team.  They are your team for a reason – it may be help them or it may be the sandpaper that you need to help YOU grow.  Everyone matters.
3. Finally, attack the problem rather than each other.  Determine what the problem is and work to find a solution to the problem.

Thank you God for using Pastor Al to get my attention.  This is an area that I need to work on and these are some great tips.  I know that the original message was meant for the members of the congregation but it definitely hit home with me.  Are you suffering from GROWING PAINS – professionally or personally?  We would love to hear from you.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!