The Journey

It has been awhile since I talked about my weight loss journey so I thought I would share a little bit…..Yes, it is STILL a journey.  I may have reached my goal weight BUT maintenance is also part of the journey.

When I reached my goal weight – FINALLY – I thought I have this!  WRONG!

When I had my first weigh in as a Lifetime member – I thought I have this! WRONG!  Yes, I was still EXACTLY at my goal weight which was 2 pounds up from the day that I actually became a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers.

Now, it is time for my next weigh in.  As I got on the scale at home over the weekend, a feeling of dread came over me.  MY scale showed a gain of almost 3 pounds. NOW, I would be over my goal weight AND have to pay!  WOW!  Was this a reality check.  Okay, so I could make excuses:

• Chinese food TWICE in one week
• IBS issues
• New job and even though I pack my healthy WW lunch, I added LOTS of just in case foods.  Those just in case foods ALWAYS put me over my daily point allowance, if I was tracking.

Okay, so you are getting the picture, right?  So, on the morning BEFORE the long holiday weekend, I pulled updated my Weight Watchers mobile app, pulled out my scale AND began tracking again.  Did I really think that I could away with eating what I wanted, when I wanted and nothing would happen?   Yes, I do live in a fantasy world sometimes.

Today is the day that I will go into Weight Watchers – not my usually day because I had to work yesterday – and see if I was able to maintain my weight.  I haven’t been on the scale at home because I was afraid.  Afraid that if I didn’t see the results that I wanted, it would send me into a tail spin. Afraid to admit to everyone that I “screwed up”.  Afraid that all my hard work had been in vain.  Okay, so all of this sounds a bit dramatic for maybe a 2 pounds gain, right?

The truth is that I still see myself as that 290 pound person.  There are days that I walked by a mirror and wonder “who is that person?”.  My head still hasn’t caught up with the reality that even with my “excess skin”, I am still down over 125 pounds.  The excess skin from such a dramatic weight loss doesn’t help but you would think that the size 12 clothes would do the trick.

The journey is never ending – there are days when it is easier, there are days when old habits stay locked away, and there are days when I LOVE my body and all that I have accomplished.  If you are on a weight loss journey, don’t give up.  It took me years but it was worth the trip.  Off to weigh in… wish me luck!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!