This has been a busy week filled with deep discussions about my deepest struggles personally and in my business. Sometimes I was really shocked at the AHAs that came out of my mouth (hubby is too). It is then that I know that God has a plan for me and that despite my best efforts (non-intentional) to go off course, he is going to make sure things happen and I reach my goal. In an effort to push the devil even further away, I wanted to share one with you. I am ready to EMBRACE all of the blessings that are in store for me and JUST FOR TODAY I feel like I am worthy of them.
My biggest morning struggle is to be a Positive Polly or Confident Cathy and not Negative Nellie. For some this is just an easy decision to make while others of us struggle. Deep down (I mean really deep), I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and a lack of confidence. This steams from years of suppressed feelings that many would say can only be helped with LONG therapy sessions. After doing the NA meeting route daily for 2 years and then about 1 year in counseling, I am not eager to go back. You would think with all of that, I would be cured, right?
Now, I am not saying that I want to be perky 24/7; what I do mean is that it takes work for me to remain an optimist in light of my automatic tendency to head down the road of negativity and inadequacy. Can I tell you what a relief it was to share this with hubby (and now with you)? I know, crazy, right? The inside me is not always the same thing that people see on the outside. I wish I could always play the role that people see. I know that if I keep visualizing that, it will happen.
I have found a simple solution (I think) that is helping with this struggle. It is a tip that I learned from Dana Wilde but never put into practice. Okay, so maybe I tried it for a week and it didn’t seem to work so I gave up. When Dana shared this tip, it was all about growing your business. Yes, I want to grow my business but I need to grow personally FIRST and then the rest will fall into place. Before going to bed, she said to list the positives of the day (this may be really simplified) and go to sleep repeating positive mantras in your head. Simple, right?
Can I tell you what a difference it has made in just a few days? I have gone to sleep shutting out the craziness of the day, pushing aside all of the negative words that seem to pop into my head when I am tired and just focusing on being thankful and positive. Some nights it is a struggle – I could almost picture the angel and devil fighting. What a great visual! An angel (positives) on one side and the devil (negatives) on another fighting for control of my thoughts.
I work hard to ensure that the angel wins! The result is that I have woken up with a little more energy, ready to conquer the world. I have begun to focus on the important tasks of the day instead of letting myself get side tracked – or lounging in the grass. I even found that I didn’t mind the unplanned changes in the day.
What is your biggest personal challenge?
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!