Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Differences in Marriage

This morning I am wondering how hubby puts up with me – my mood swings, my independence, and my occasional sharp tongue.  I realize that it is the same reasons that I tolerate his quirks.  As I was thinking about what to blog about on a day devoted to reflecting, recharging and relaxing – I was reminded that God made men and women incredibly different and we actually complement each other despite the fact that some days it feels like huge hurdles in the road.

Rob and I are very, very different people.

I am an extrovert – the more the merrier is my mentality!  He is an introvert – he is very private.

I love social media and social gatherings fill me up!  My husband does not participate in social media, and social gatherings are starting to be something he considers instead of a flat out “no”!

I like Christian and country music.  He is classic rock all the way.

I love big cities and knowing my neighbors.  He would love to live on a huge piece of land and not see the neighbors!

I am a creative spirit – love spur of the moment things and do little time planning.  He is a planner and loves a schedule.

Our family histories are very different. Our school experiences were very different. Our life experiences are very different since we reunited after 30 years.

Despite all of the differences, I am often amazed at how like-minded we are in our morals, values, our love for each other and our families.  Some days, I let the differences frustrate me and as a result my sharp tongue gets to working overtime.  I am not going to change him just as he is not going to to change me – we may bend a little but the change is never permanent.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 2:3-5

So how do we deal with differences in marriage?  

1.) Do not be selfish. (verse 3)  This is easy for us since we are both givers and are often not good at receiving.

2.) Humble yourself and look at your husband as more significant than yourself. (verse 3)  This one is sometimes a little bit more difficult for me.  Despite the fact that we have been together for almost 13 years,  we have only been married 3 and I have only just started submitting to him as the husband over the last year. God continues to work on me every day in this area.  This marriage thing is sometimes a struggle for this highly independent women.

3.) Do not discount your husband’s interests. (verse 4).  This is a tough one too!  We don’t share a lot of the same interests so I focus on the ones that we do share.  I even try to listen as he talks about the things that interest him – not always easy but I do continue to try.

4.) Have the mind of Christ. (verse 5).  I ask God for guidance every day, the problem is that I need to LISTEN more.  My Serenity Prayer is a constant reminder for God’s will not my own in my daily life.

Have you humbled yourself and considered laying aside your own interests for the sake of your husband, for the sake of your marriage and for the sake of Christ?  

Thank you Women Living Well for another reminder of the importance of keeping God in the forefront of my marriage.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!


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