I woke up this morning feeling like it was going to be a good day…SMACK!
I open an email and I am hit with feelings of inferiority, insecurity and inadequacy. The old tapes fighting to start as I close the email and move to my devotions trying to recapture the positive feelings that I woke up with. The angel and the devil gearing up for a battle to see who will control my day.
I broke my routine – the one that starts my day with my devotions BEFORE I read anything else. The one that wraps me in God’s loving arms so that I can fight the negative thoughts that run around in my head. The routine that helps me to hit the reset button.
As I open my morning devotion, I am reminded that “Satan wants to use our past to paralyze us. God wants to use our past to propel us! The choice is ours.” Then I hear Jesus ask me, “Do you want to get well?”. No, he didn’t appear in front of me. He just tugged at my heart to remind me that with him all things are possible.
“Get up! Pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8).
I don’t have a mat but I do have a suitcase full of old tapes that Satan tries to replay on a regular basis. Yes, I want to get well. I want this “adjustment disorder combined with depression” to go away. I want to wave a magic wand but there isn’t one. I want to be completely healthy: physically, spiritually and mentally. I want to smile all of the time. Yes, I want to get well but at the same time I am scared. Change is scary but if change means getting better, am I willing to risk the scary to get better? So, I am taking a deep breath and asking God for his guidance and his help.
I am praying that he will help me to make the changes that I need to make in my life. I pray that he will give me the courage to “pick up my mat and walk.” Girlfriend, let’s pick up our mat and walk…better, let’s run, leap, and dance for joy!
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
#adjustmentdisorder, #depression, #John5:8, #angelvsdevil