Throwback Thursday – Thirty One’s National Conference in 2013. A year filled with mixed emotions. Humbled that I had reached my goal. Excitement combined with nervousness as I walked the stage as a NEW Director. Hurt and discouraged as Satan gained a stronghold in my life because of someone’s hateful words. I remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you”. REALLY???? Here I am almost 2 years later and Satan continues to use those words as a stronghold in my life. I know you are saying “let it go” already, right?
For the average person, they can toss those words aside and move on. Some can turn it over to God and let him handle it. Some can grab hold of their successes and run with it. Some will even use it as motivation to move forward and prove them wrong. Then there are some like me….
You see the speaker of the hateful words succeeding and all of sudden you begin believing the what was said. You doubt your abilities. The old tape plays again – maybe they were right.
So, I am going to try something NEW. Something that I learned in rehab so many years ago. I am going to write a letter to that person and then bury it or burn it. I remember doing this to rid myself of the guilt and hurt feelings of my addiction so why couldn’t it work now, right?
You may not know it but your “negative” words on my special night HURT! You made me feel like MY accomplishments were not my own. You made me feel like I did nothing to earn my new title. You made me feel like I would never be able to reach another goal. You made me feel like you were better than I was. You made me feel like my success was a result of YOUR work and not my own. Without knowing it, you scarred me for the last two years. On my good days, I truly believe that you don’t even remember what you said.
I have watched your success and I CELEBRATE with you. I ENCOURAGE you. I have prayed for you. I have watched you grow personally and professionally. All of this time, I have measured my success against yours. Satan has played the tapes too many times – “you will never be as good as she is”.
I have played the comparison game for way too long. It is time to finally let it go. I have tried many times but then SMACK the words come back to haunt me. NO MORE! We each have our own talents. God has a plan for each of us and I am turning this over to him for the last time!
Today, I will REWARD myself with the gift of self love combined with a feeling of relief from those hurtful words. Goodbye!!! I am erasing these tapes and replacing them with “I am irreplaceable.” “I am worthy of my success”. I am moving forward with my business – growing and building one step at a time.
What is the ONE thing that you want to say good bye to? What is the thing that is holding you back from reaching your full potential? As silly as it sounds, write it (or the person) a letter. Don’t send it but tear it up when you are done after you have read it out loud. Burn it. Bury it. Do whatever it takes to kill it!
Share the one thing you are burying today… let’s encourage each other to grow into the person that God wants us to be.
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
4 thoughts on “Dear X”
Love this!!! What courage!! You are worth it girl, just keep going!!!