“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie
I love this quote!
Does this describe you or at least how you view yourself?
I’m short. I’m stumpy. My inner thighs touch when I walk. My gums show too much when I talk. I have to change the way I look. Maybe then you’ll like me. I obsess. I overanalyze. I get caught up in my head. I dwell on things I should let go. I can never simply go with the flow. I have to learn to be laid back. Maybe then you’ll like me. I’m shy. I’m anxious. I’m dependent on reassurance. I ask for advice way too much. I look for validation as a crutch. I have to be more confident. Maybe then you’ll like me.
I lived my life like that for many years. Looking for approval from others when the truth was, I just needed to like myself. During a coaching session about a year ago, I was “given permission to be myself”. WOW! That was a scary thought because I wasn’t sure who that was – I was the preverbal people pleaser.
For many of us, we define ourselves by what we do or who we are related to. Growing up – I was Bob & Joan’s daughter. Florence & Harold’s granddaughter. Edythe & Elsie’s niece. At college – I didn’t know who I was. When I entered the adult work force – I was Hope – Security Supervisor or Social Worker. Then there was “I am Hope, I’m an addict.” Then as a mom – I was always “Belinda’s mom”. Don’t get me wrong – I wore each of my titles with pride because that is what defined me.
I was like an antique (yes quickly approaching 60) that had been covered many times with paint to change its color to match the environment that it was in. Over the last year or so, I have begun to strip away the layers to see who Hope really is and I would say 90% of the time – I like me!
Being in direct sales, I again added a title to my name. I had to be careful not to hide in the group but I had to let me inner sparkle shine. I am no longer defined by the job title I have but I am now Hope – wife, mom, daughter, business women, life/ business coach, teacher, consultant, party planner and blogger. I wear many hats but now not just one of them defines who I am. They are titles but what I want to be remembered for is
Giving myself away so others smile
If you met someone on the street and they said “Hi, my name is Hope. It is nice to meet you?” Would your immediate response be “XX, (your child’s name) mom? Or “XX, (your hubby’s name) wife? They are hats we where but they do not define who we are on the inside. They may be the way that we know a person so it is an identification factor BUT it is NOT who we are on the inside.
Peel off the layers and find out who is on the inside. Transform from the shabby chic antique covered with layers to the polished antique that shows its natural beauty.
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!