Did you know….Perfectionism is mostly a women’s issue? I can’t say I am surprised. Think about it. How often have you hesitated to move forward worried about everything being just right?
We want our ducks all lined up in a row…
Let’s be honest, they seldom line up in just the right way or the way we think they should be. As a result we obsess over how we are doing at work, at home, in our relationships, with our weight, our hair, our kids. The end result is all of our JOY is gone. There is no time to relax because we are busy putting those ducks in a row. Which means there’s always more work to do to make things just right.
Do you wear perfectionism like a badge of honor? If you aren’t the one saying it, then I’m sure you know someone who has said it. When you (or someone you know) want to embrace the “I’m a perfectionist.” badge, consider this:
Perfectionism is self-sabotage. It’s fear.
For many of us, perfectionism means we are motivated by hard-working, high quality and conscientiousness BUT the truth is our real motivator is FEAR!
Do you also consider yourself a procrastinator? Do you claim to work better under pressure or you hesitate when trying to move forward? BINGO! Perfectionism is the reason why we procrastinate. WHY? We are trying to get all of those ducks in a row. We keep moving forward fearing whatever we’ve done, will never be good enough.
So what is the worse thing that could happen? Rejection. Disapproval. The disappointment of ‘failure.’ None of us like the thought of those words right?
What if you were to change the word “perfection” to “excellence”? There is really a HUGE difference between the two words. Excellence sets a high standard, but not so high it keeps you from moving forward. Perfectionism sets an improbable and often unobtainable standard which usually slows progress or brings it to a stop. Excellence is a value, a way of life. Perfectionism is a judgement from a critical spirit which rarely, if ever, is satisfied.
How do you know whether you are in a perfectionism or excellence mode? It is an energy which you feel. The energy of perfectionism is criticism, doubt, and discontentment. The energy of excellence is hope, possibility and growth. Excellence is about the journey to your destination – what you discover, how you grow, and who takes the journey with you.
Have you played the comparison game? I have been there, done it and gotten (multiple) t-shirts. So, if you’re comparing yourself to others, you’re operating in perfectionism. If you’re focused on being the best version of YOU, you’re operating in excellence.
You need to flip the switch when you feel the anxiety of perfectionism creeping in. Flip from perfectionism to excellence with these questions:
- What have I done well I can acknowledge and celebrate even if I feel like I’m “not ready yet” or “not done yet”?
- What good thing could happen if I decided what I’ve done already is enough and move on to the next step?
- What is my definition of “good enough”?
- What would happen if instead of fearing my efforts are not good enough, I had the courage to believe I am good enough right now, today?
- How could I have more fun while doing this?
- How do I want to grow as a result of this task?
I challenge you this weekend to pick excellence over perfection so you can make progress.
I have found the weekends are tougher for me then during the week to flip the switch. Crazy, right? During the week, we have a routine (work, kids, etc) but on the weekend there is less structure. Less structure usually means I am playing the woulda, shoulda, coulda game. What about you?
Take a few minutes today so you can identify at least one way perfectionism has you stuck. Flip the switch!
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!