As I start thinking about Thanksgiving, I am filled with A LOT of mixed emotions. Growing up, it was a day filled with football games (Neptune vs Asbury), family and lots of food. Then, life changed and I don’t really remember much of the time between family gatherings and being a mom. I know we celebrated but they are some of the memories lost in my brain. Then came Belinda and recovery. Reuniting with my dad and the other side of the family. Thanksgiving was one of the two holidays which were “dad” holidays. This year, is filled with LOTS of emotions. I am celebrating eighteen months clean and blessed to be having TWO thanksgivings. Hubby took Wednesday off so we will celebrate with mom on Wednesday and then Thanksgiving Day with Patti and the crew. I’m sure I will cry lots of tears. Sad Belinda will again not be home for the holidays and for those who are no longer with us (definitely going to miss Dad’s mashed potatoes.)
The best advice I can give it to take time out to truly appreciate this special day of thanks. Here are some tips to make this year’s Thanksgiving the most festive and fun-filled yet.
1. Plan ahead for the day you want
It sounds simple, but your ideal holiday won’t materialize unless you make it happen. Maybe you envision a formal Thanksgiving dinner complete with centerpieces, nameplates and an elegant menu. If that’s your plan, spell it out ahead of time. If you want potluck, paper plates, jeans and football, plan it and let people know. Share your desires openly with family, i.e. “I hope you will stay all day so we can have lots of time together”—to create the day you want.
2. Think about timing
It may sound like a no-brainer, but the timing of your dinner can impact the entire day. If you call your mealtime too early, you might get stressed with the-time crunch of meal prep (unless you’ve done most of it in the days before). Some like to eat later in order to enjoy appetizers and the anticipation of the holiday meal all day. Or maybe you have guests who are going to be glued to a particular football game during the day. Growing up dinner was always at 5PM, it gave everyone time to get home from the game, rest and be ready to eat since mom-mom very seldom let us in the kitchen to help (or at least I don’t remember her letting us). Be sure to consider all of these variables and plan accordingly.
3. Relax your expectations
When I have company, this is the toughest thing for me to do! Without dwelling on it, acknowledge something will likely go wrong with your day, but that’s OK. A quirky uncle might say something, well, quirky. Someone might not show up who said they would. If you want to have the best possible holiday, roll with the punches. (Rest assured: No one’s Thanksgiving is perfect.)
4. Set up a kids’ table
LOL. A random memory of when we had family dinners at our house. The kids table was ALWAYS in the kitchen but close enough to the dining room. I know this isn’t the kin of table they are talking about but it was a great random memory. How about letting the kids help make construction-paper place mats for their special table. It’s fun for kids to eat away from the adults, and you are likely to hear lots of giggles, too. We still have two tables when we eat Thanksgiving – one in the dining room and one in the kitchen. Unfortunately, there aren’t many little ones (yet) to have kids and adults at separate tables.
5. Take a moment to observe
Take a moment during the festivities to stop doing and just notice what is happening all around you. Watch your family as an observer; what do you see? When we stop scurrying around in host (or guest) mode, we can absorb our blessings: family, friends, a nice home, good food, our health, a break from work, laughter and more. When you stop to pay attention, we enjoy the day more fully and create vivid memories. This has been one of the greatest gifts of recovery…. being present in the moment!
6. Take a walk
So much food, so many people, so much indoor time—you could really use a little fresh air to slow your day down and take a moment to breathe in the crisp air. Walking after a big meal wakes you up and helps you digest. Even if it’s cold, bundle up and enjoy your holiday with a brisk walk.
7. Don’t clean up right away
Thanksgiving dinner can take hours to prepare, and if you start cleaning up as soon as your meal is finished, when do you actually get to enjoy it? Cleaning up also can send the unintended message it’s time for guests to stop conversing and start helping or even leave. Enjoy the conversation fully before you pick up all the plates. Consider having dessert an hour or more after dinner to encourage family members and friends to relax, connect and stick around for a while.
8. Remember what the day is about
It’s isn’t just turkey, football and pies. Thanksgiving is truly about coming together as a family to give thanks. Focus on your blessings, and your own happiness and appreciation will infuse your holiday and guests with joy.
Share your favorite Thanksgiving memory with us…. Have a blessed day!
Hope Wissel 