One Word Not a Resolution

It’s that time of year, reflection on the year past and looking forward to the year ahead.  I haven’t been blogging much, because I honestly didn’t feel like I had much to say….that is constantly changing so let’s talk about RESOLUTIONS!

New Year’s Eve is right around the corner… some are at work eagerly anticipating another day or two off.  Others are eagerly preparing for the festivities or maybe even starting to celebrate.  Somewhere in the midst of all of the craziness, there is always the talk of New Year’s Resolutions, right?  Most pick a resolution by a problem that has plagued them (sometimes for years) and vow to change it.  How has that worked for you?

Doing away with resolutions and embracing ONE WORD began in 2013 for me when my then DS Director challenged us to pick a word….

My 2013 word was FAITH:  Faith to believe when the way is rough and faith to hang on when the going is tough will never fail to pull us through and bring us strength and comfort too. Helen Steiner Rice. “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Matthew 17:20

FAITH helped me when business was slow.  FAITH helped me to step outside my comfort zone.  FAITH helped me to stay on track with Weight Watchers.  FAITH helped me to overcome the doubt and fear.  FAITH got me through as Rob suffered congestive heart failure.  FAITH got me through when fear gripped my heart at the thought that I might lose him.  FAITH kept me calm as I overcame my fear of dentists.  My FAITH grew each day as I sought God’s guidance before I made major decisions in my personal and business life.

Over the next 10 years, here were my words:

2014 – EMRACE

2015 – CONFIDENCE

2016 – ACCOUNTABLE

2017 – INTENTIONAL

2018 – COURAGE

2019 – GRATITUDE

2022 – ACCEPTANCE

For 2020 and 2021, I can’t remember what they were and I can’t figure out my posts.  It was life during COVID and moving to our forever house.

This “One Word” experiment moved me from the long list of changes to ONE WORD.  It helped me to take all my big plans, narrow them down into a single focus and create a vision.   When things got tough, when Doubtful Debbie and Negative Nellie visited; I went back to my ONE WORD and gained focus.  It wasn’t always easy but it helped me.  Notice I didn’t say resolutions, I said goals.  I am prayed on my word for 2023 and God has nudged me in the direction I need to go.  That ONE word will be my guide in my personal, and business life.

 

My word for 2023 is ABUNDANCE!

Abundance is defined as an appreciation of life in its fullness, joy and strength of mind, body and soul.

As 2023 kicks off with some health challenges, I will embrace a healthy mindset, practicing gratitude in EVERY situation.  I know everything we go through is a blessing – a gift in one form or another.  I have learned over the last 6 months about living abundantly.  I have been blessed with a tribe of women who think and act abundantly.  I have been blessed with Coach Ann being a part of my life – professionally and personally.  She has taught me (and many others) that these things will kill abundance in my life: playing the victim, negativity, having a pity party, making excuses and blaming others.  I will continue to eliminate these things in my life in 2023 so that I can live abundantly and share my abundance with those in my life!

What is your ONE WORD for 2023?  Or are you still in the “resolution list” mode?  Either way, share them with us.

Have a blessed day!

Do You Manifest Abundance?

Before I could answer this question, I had to totally understand what “manifesting abundance” meant.  I thought it was simply having a positive attitude which most days I do BUT it is so much more.

By definition “Manifestation is the ability to consciously create your reality by focusing on the power of your thoughts. It’s about being able to materialize things you think about, feel into or believe. Abundance is about a lot more than money. It’s joy.”

So, let me ask you again….do you manifest abundance?  Now, I would have to honestly answer – NO! or at least not 100% of the time or in all areas of my life.  I know you are probably wondering what started me on this quest to “manifest abundance”, right?  I have been following an AMAZING social media coach Ann Evanston who manifests abundance in ALL areas of her life.  She has inspired me.  She reinforced many of the same ideals given to me in the past by some other amazing women.  The Law of Abundance, along with branding myself and not my company are TWO of the big ones.

“Believe It Until You Achieve It,” or the “Fake it Until You Make It” theory…..

Belief is the central pillar to the idea of manifesting abundance. What is the thing that keeps you from achieving something???? Lack of faith in yourself, your abilities, and your dedication.  How many of you despite your positive attitude are hit with the “negative” inner gremlins on occasion.  Maybe those scarcity words have become part of your vocabulary.  I am learning those negative comments like “I don’t have enough right now” or “the budget is tight” or any of hundred of other similar comments are scarcity mode.  Funny, how I can have positive thoughts in some areas of my life but the scarcity gremlins creep in when I least expect them.  I always wondered if stating the fact of a limited budget or budget is tight or anything like that affect my business.  The answer is YES!  These simple statements have a resounding effect because they are no longer hopeful, positive or expecting the best in my life.

 

Believing is having the ability to dream which leads to achieving.  It may seem like a short road between believing and achieving but it requires effort, patience and a process.  No, simply imagining things doesn’t make them come true. Those visual are nota magic wand!  You need to show up consistently and keep going when the going gets tough. Your belief can only motivate you THEN you need to put the energy into an outcome-driven process.

The “fake it to you make it” theory helped me in my career as a social worker.  There were many times, I showed I was confident when I was definitely not feeling it 100%.  The end result was within a short period of time I was where I wanted to be in my career.  Was it easy? NO! Did I work countless hours to reach my goal? YES! I was consistent and it paid off.

I am working on “manifesting statements” or “positive affirmations” which will help me move out of the scarcity mode in ALL areas of my life.  I am going to finally stomp those negative inner gremlins, so I can live the abundant life I was meant to live.  What are some of your positive affirmations to manifest abundance?

Which of these abundance affirmations radiate with you?

1. 1. I experience wealth as a key part of my life.
   2. I am capable of overcoming any money-obstacles that stand in my way.
   3. I can conquer my money goals.
   4. Today I commit to living my financial dreams.
   5. I want more money. And that’s okay.
   6. It’s easy and natural for me to be prosperous and successful.
   7. My life is filled with health and wealth.
   8. Abundance is coming, I deserve and accept it.
   9. I accept and receive unexpected money.
   10. I accept and receive unexpected prosperity.
   11. I have more than enough money.
   12. I deserve to make more money.
   13. I am always discovering new sources of income.
   14. Money comes my way in both expected and unexpected ways.
   15. I am open to receiving all wealth life brings to me.
   16. I’m not poor, I’m just low wealth right now. That is changing.
   17. I’m getting out of my own way when it comes to money.

The ones I highlighted are the ones that speak to me.  I truly believe by speaking health into my life, I have been able to manage my MS on a holistic basis.  I know it is not for everyone BUT for me, it works.  Do I still have bad days?  YES! The difference is, I don’t let a bad day determine my week, or month or year.  I count my blessings and move forward because even a bad MS day is a blessing.

What is the quickest way to manifest abundance?

1. Practice gratitude and generosity right now. Manifesting isn’t just about “getting” whatever you want. …
2. Be present. …
3. Be open to receiving. …
4. Stay positive. …
5. Take time to meditate.

Who will join me on this journey?  Let’s cheer each other on.  Have an Epic day!

A Celebration With Reflection

The month of May is filled with lots of celebrations.  We go from my birthday, to Mother’s Day, to our wedding anniversary to my anniversary in recovery!  This year, each one has brought a realization of how blessed I am to have been given a second chance.  

A second chance to become the person God intended for me to be.  A chance to grow, to learn to like myself and to embrace the here and now.  A chance to have strong healthy relationships with the important people in my life.  A second chance at life!

WE HAVE 4 YEARS!  Four years ago, I was a hot mess on the verge of losing my hubby with a mound of credit card debt.  I had a victim mentality while I isolated feeling less than everyone else.  I was broken emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Appearing confident (often cocky) on the outside while hiding a scared child on the inside.  I had walked this road before and relapse is now a part of my story.  I let down my family, my friends but most of all I let myself down.  The strong confident person was gone.  What was left was a broken, shell of my former self.  Sadly, I didn’t notice it – I thought I hid it well.  I blamed everyone else for what was wrong in my life when the only one who was to blame was me.

Four years later, I am blessed.  I have a new sponsor, a new home group, I am working the steps and I attend meetings regularly. Today, the credit card debt is paid off.  Today, I have a local network of women in recovery.  Today, I accept I am an introvert but it does not mean I need to isolate.  In fact stepping out of my comfort zone is important.  Today, I know my ride & die gals who were with me the first night 4 years ago are just a phone call away.  Just for today, I like myself.  Today, I don’t beat myself up over the “stuck number on the scale” or how I think “I should look”.  Today, I don’t apologize for things I have no control over.  Today, I set boundaries so I can maintain my mental health.  Today, I willing seek out guidance from others who have walked this road before me.  I know if I don’t put my recovery first, I will not continue to have the blessed life I live today.  

Yes, MS kicks my butt BUT it is not an excuse to go back to those old destructive behaviors.  Living life on life’s terms is not always easy but WE do recovery together.  The program works when I am willing to work the steps, am open-minded, willing to listen to suggestions AND am honest with myself and others.  

Some days, I am unable to feel anything but sadness (MS seems to play with my emotions as it takes my memories).  I struggle to remember how bad it was.  Not just this time but the first time (my first clean date was 10/26/91).  Hubby often says, God took the memories because it was too unbearable for me to remember.  God continues to give me glimpses but when it becomes too overwhelming, they quickly fade.  So instead of struggling to remember, I try each day to be a better person than I was yesterday. Does it always work? NOPE!  I know with God’s help, it will.  I continue to go to meetings – I need to hear the struggles, I need to share my blind faith, I need to be surrounded by people who have been where I have been and I need to remember  “never” should not be part of my vocabulary.  

JUST FOR TODAY: My strongest desire is to have a spiritual awakening.  I will watch for its symptoms and rejoice when I discover them.

Thank you to everyone who has walked these many roads with us.  We are grateful for the part you have played and continued to play in our lives.

Have an Epic day!

 

5 AFFORDABLE WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-CARE

 

What is self-care?

The “technical” definition is: the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider”.

I’m all about holistic or natural treatments so would you think I would have this down to a science, right?  NOPE!  I struggle with practice self-care, like I’m sure many do.  The benefits of better physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being should be enough of a reason for me to at least attempt it once a month, right?  Research suggests self-care promotes positive health outcomes, such as fostering resilience, living longer, and becoming better equipped to manage stress.  I definitely could use some more tools in managing stress!

Self-care can get pretty expensive but you don’t have to break the bank or carve out lots of time to reap the benefits.  These may seem like no-brainers BUT the truth is, how many of us actually do them?  

#1 – DON’T SKIP USING YOUR VACATION TIME

Vacations can be expensive, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some time off.  Did you know,  most Americans, cumulatively wasted 768 million vacation days in 2019. I know, then COVID hit so many used their vacation time to stay home to care for family.  Time off from work can improve your mental and physical health, give you a mental edge when it comes to productivity, and keep you excited about your job — and your life.

Vacation can be more affordable with a little bit of creativity. Consider going with friends or family and getting a vacation rental.  We loved the cabin we stayed in when we were in Florida.  Instead of shelling out for a hotel, share a comfortable home, condo, or apartment then enjoy everything your destination has to offer. When you save on accommodations, you can splurge on great local restaurants, music, and water recreation, too. 

#2 – CARVE OUT TIME FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP

No matter what your struggles are in daily life, speaking with a counselor might help. This one was always tough for me.  I was afraid it would be considered a sign of weakness.  Counseling helps people identify negative patterns, make changes to take control of their lives, and discover their personal strengths.  I’m grateful for the 12-steps in my recovery program to help me do this too.  Cost should no longer be a reason for not seeking help – if you have employer-sponsored healthcare, a policy through a health insurance exchange, or Medicaid, mental health is likely part of the package.  Check it out!

#3 – GET BETTER (AND MORE) SLEEP

Did you know a lack of sleep can affect your mental health and your overall psychological state?  I know we feel grump, or at least I do, when we don’t get enough sleep.  I was surprised that it also worsens depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety issues, and ADHD.   Do you have a bedtime routine?  Remember how we always had one for the kids?  Guess what?  We need one too.  I have found  sticking with a schedule helps me decompress and prepare for quality rest. I may not get the recommended 7 – 9 hours sleep (who does) but I do average between 6 – 7 hours which definitely makes a difference for me.  Some tips for getting into a sleepy mood: journaling, reading or meditating before bed can help.  TURN OFF your electronics about an hour before bed.  I know this could be the toughest thing.  LOL. Try to keep your bedroom as neat as possible; if the place where you sleep is a disorganized mess, you may find this level of chaos is causing a spike in your stress levels, which can disrupt your sleep.

#4 – GET A LITTLE EXERCISE

You know exercise is great for your body. However, you don’t need a gym membership to take advantage of the benefits  Plus, there are mental health benefits built into your sweat session, no matter where you have it. Physical activity can decrease depression and anxiety.  You don’t need to pay for a gym to lift weights or use machines. Old-fashioned bodyweight workouts require minimal, if any, equipment, and it can be just as effective as hitting the gym.  How many of you have exercise equipment (stationary bike, elliptic or something like this) you bought and it is collecting dust in the garage?  Pull it out!  We bought a stationary bike about 15 years ago and it wasn’t until we moved to our forever home I started using it every day for 15 – 30 minutes.  Not a lot but it is definitely making a difference.

Here’s a plus for seniors: If you’re enrolled in a Medicare Advantage plan, you can take advantage of the SilverSneakers program, which allows you to enjoy workouts at participating fitness facilities without having to pay any additional fees. 

#5 – STEP OUTSIDE & ENJOY NATURE

There are multiple benefits by walking in nature for your mental health — and it’s free. Spending time outside can reduce your risk of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and myriad other conditions.  No matter where you live, there’s likely a park or nature trail nearby you can take advantage of. Take a walk around your neighborhood. Enjoy the sunshine (things are warming up in NJ), smell the flowers (spring is coming), and start feeling more energized without spending a dime.

Although you can spend a lot of money on self-care, it’s not necessary. With these easy ideas, you can glean all the stress-reducing benefits of self-care right away.

What self-care strategies work for you?  Share your best tips with us.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Tips for a Happier Life

Let me start by saying I am NO expert…. I have good days and bad days.  Doesn’t every one?

When I see this picture I always think of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. It seems so basic but how many of us look for happiness – sometimes in the wrong places.  For me, since MS & recovery, being happy means practicing being in the moment.  Not having expectations about things and definitely not trying to fix, manage or control things.

As I was scrolling through my earlier blogs, I was reminded about a post from one of my favorite bloggers, “alwaysthinkingimfat“.  Let me share a few tips to happiness from her with you:

Find light where it was once dark: Are you a half full glass or a half empty glass kind of person?  If you are a half empty kind of person, look for something to focus on.  A small glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I know it may be hard to see BUT there is always a glimmer.  It could be the one chance to take yourself from a miserable place to some higher ground.

Reciprocate:  The bottom line is, on life’s journey it is so good to give rather than receive. Take time to notice others and give of yourself.  It will make you feel better and help make the World a better place!  Couldn’t we all use a little kindness these days.

Fuel your creative side:  You put gas in the car but do you ever fuel your creative side.  For years, I let my creative side get buried under the massive lists of  “to dos” and it made for a grumpy Hope.  Okay, so there may have been more to it but it definitely didn’t help.  LOL.  Take a minute right now to jot down some thoughts/ ideas.  Then make a plan to grab the glue gun or get the scrapbooking items out of the closet.  Better yet do it while you are thinking about it – NOW! The moments of elation and self worth will help to promote the positive and downplay the negative.

Active listening: Let’s be honest….are you ALWAYS an active listener or are you guilty of trying to figure out how to respond to what someone is saying.  I will admit it….I have been that person.  I am trying hard to practice active listening.  The truth is when you are not actively listening, you fail to give a person a chance to express themselves or share input as well as ideas. SMACK!  Who is joining me in practicing this??? 

Face your faults: Being a recovering addict and working a 12-step program has definitely helped in this area of my life.  There was a time in my life when I thought my faults made me less then.  When I hid them for fear someone may not like me.  In general, people tend to be defensive or remiss about their personal faults.  In my life, I am taking steps to say “I am not perfect and I have faults”.  But I can change or make it better, it is up to me.

Delight in success: Too many times, we fail to delight in life’s small successes.  If you lose weight you need to be happy about it and keep going.  Any loss is a loss, so celebrate!  If you set a small manageable goal and obtain it – CELEBRATE it.  Success does not have to be HUGE steps, it can be baby steps towards your goal.  Stop telling yourself you are not successful and become more self assured and confident!  I need to practice what I preach.  LOL!!!

Feed your mind and soul: Take the initiative to inspire, create and reflect.  You feed your body but what about your mind & soul!!  Take a walk to enjoy the beauty outside.  Read a book.  Listen to a podcast.  Do a craft project.  When you fill your cup, you are then able to fill others.  When your cup is empty, you have nothing to give anyone else.

Share your best tips for a happier life.  My best advice is to:  

Revel in Being You! Every day is a celebration! It is party time! Get your groove on!

Have an ThirtyOne-derful day!