Real-Time Relationship

Thank you Elisa Pulliam for today’s message.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony – Colossians 3:12-14, NLT

I expected my usually happy teenage daughter to bounce into my office singing VBS songs from her morning spent serving at church. Instead, her sullen face conveyed another story. She was battling feelings of betrayal, insecurity, and jealousy after receiving a message from a friend about something that was happening in a completely different place.

Let’s just say this mama llama wanted to spew more than a few unpleasantries about social media and towards the adult involved behind the scenes. Yet I could feel God urging me to not be so easily offended. I’d been down this road enough times before to recognize what was happening.

Satan was busy writing the story in my head according to his own agenda.

Can you relate?

The Holy Spirit prompted me to take hold of my thought life before doing or saying something I might regret. While I’ve been practicing taking my thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and asking God to align them with His truth (Romans 12:2) for the last decade, I’ve come to see that I have a harder time doing this when a relationship is at stake. It’s hard to find your voice when you’re already wounded and fear more rejection. Yet, avoiding conflict never leads to relationship restoration.

So I skipped the easy-out texting approach and took the risk with an old-fashioned phone call. I put into action the best communication tactics anytime conflict is brewing. I prayed for God to speak through me and asked the open-ended questions I’ve been trained to use as a life coach. It worked! As I listened and affirmed my commitment to our friendship, her voice softened. Her defenses dropped. And the truth rose beautifully out of it all.

Turns out that there was no reason to be offended. There was no intention to hurt my girl or betray us. There was no ill will. There was a perfectly good explanation that social media failed to capture. I should have known!

Satan is the King of Drama ready to destroy every relationship God created for His glory and kingdom purposes.

Maybe that’s why Paul urges the Colossians and us to clothe ourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, making allowance for each other’s faults. Yes, it’s always beneficial when we choose to seek forgiveness and extend it. It’s God honoring when we put on love in the pursuit of unity.

When we live according to God’s design, we get to experience a whole lot less drama, along with the blessings that come from real-time relationships restored by His love and extravagant grace.

Have a blessed day!

My Battle With Pride

Thank you Mary Southerland for today’s message:

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you  ~ Romans 12:3b, NIV

A famous explorer in South America was once forced to abandon his journey by an almost invisible enemy. He was equipped to meet leopards, serpents and crocodiles. They proved to be no threat, but what he had failed to consider were the tiny insects called chiggers. Chiggers are so tiny that in North America we call them the “no see-ums.”

Pride and chiggers have a lot in common. Pride comes in little ways, unseen actions, subtle thoughts or inconspicuous comments. Unguarded attitudes and random thoughts are prime breeding grounds for pride. We must take charge of those thoughts, discipline our attitudes, training our thinking processes to give up and obey God.

Pride loves to take up residence in an undisciplined thought life, changing the setting and dictating attitudes with little or no resistance. When Paul encouraged the believers in Rome to cultivate “sober judgment,” he was warning them to take charge of the mind, refusing to allow the entrance of any thoughts that would entertain pride. A disciplined thought life is the very foundation of a victorious journey with God.

Many of us attempt to find worth and identity in what we do – not who we are. As a result, our actions are intended to draw the attention of anyone and everyone in a vain effort to establish self-worth. There may be people in your life who are difficult to love. Our responsibility is to love and accept these difficult people without insisting they change or counting on them to change. In order to do that, we must choose grace and humility over pride and censure. Pride vanishes beneath the loving gaze of our Father who simply longs for each one of us to see ourselves through His eyes – no more and no less.

The frontline of battle against pride is the mind. We are in a war for the control of the mind. Paul recognized that truth and urges us on in the battle, “We are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NASB). To take something captive is a military tactic that we would do well to employ, because the harsh reality is that when it comes to our thought life. we are in a great battle – especially when dealing with pride.

Sometimes it seems as if pride can actually crawl into my mind and grab hold of any undisciplined thoughts floating around. Pride then flings those random thoughts into my heart as an attitude laced with burning arrogance. We can change our lives by changing how we think. We can dictate the attitudes of our heart by fixing our thoughts on God and His truth. The result is peace, which stands against pride, electing humility instead. “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, whose thoughts are fixed on You” (Isaiah 26:3). What does it mean to “fix” our thoughts? Webster’s Dictionary defines “fixed” as “rigid, solid or firm.” We must learn to fix our thoughts on the truth of God’s word. We need to be rigid in controlling our thought processes, holding firm to God’s standard for the mind. The result will be a stable way of thinking and living. To prevent pride requires a choice to take charge of our mind.

I once dated a young man I thought was “the one.” For some reason, my mother did not like him. Knowing her daughter very well, my mother said nothing, but I am sure she was on her knees pleading with God to take that young man out of my life. He did. We eventually broke up and my mother finally explained why she had a problem with this young man. “If I could buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth, I would be a millionaire!” Mama did have a way with words. She was so right! Today, that man is out of ministry, divorced and living a life that is unpleasing to God. His pride robbed him of the best God had for him.

Don’t let that happen to you. Run from anyone or anything that promotes a prideful attitude. Eliminate the strongholds of pride in your life. Nail your ego to the cross and declare it powerless. Celebrate the trophy of grace you are in God.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Toss Fear Aside

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

Have you every thought “I’m tired of worrying yet you can’t seem to stop”?  Maybe the worry is whether or not you have enough money to pay the bills.  Maybe the worry about your aging parents.  Maybe the worry is about your children and the decisions they will make.  I am tired of worrying about (fill in the blank).

Worry is due to FEAR!  I feel like I have had fear since my early teens.  Fear of rejection. Fear of failing.  Fear of success.  Fear of not being good enough.  Fear of being alone.  I stuffed the feelings and moved forward in my career.  Fear surfaced when I made mistakes or when I was about to make a change personally or professionally.  Somewhere along the way, I started to believe that fear was just a fact of life and I could do nothing to change it.  I started to believe that I was alone with my fears.

How wrong I was!

When I started truly believing that God had a plan for me and he was in control, the worry subsided.  Notice I didn’t say go away because those evil gremlins try to rear their heads when I least expect it.  We can decide though what we want to with with our fears.  Here are some truths:

 

Truth #1: Other people do worry; they just don’t talk about it or let it consume their lives

Truth #2: Worry and fear must be a normal because God tells us not to, over 100 times in the Bible.

Truth #3: God doesn’t just tell us not to worry or fear, He tells us what to do when we do!

 

 

Picture your worry as a ball.  What do you want to do with the ball?  Do you want to toss it or do you want to hold on to it? No, we aren’t going to have a game of catch because we truly want to rid ourselves of the fear that is holding us back.

Let’s toss the worry (ball) to God and let him handle it.  As we do that, let’s ask for peace – not a solution and thank him for taking care of things in the past.  How does that feel?  Do you feel relief?  Try that with each worry that you have today and see what happens.

Each time that we do this, we strengthen our faith and our ability to decide what to do when hard times come.  It allows us to see that we can either control the fear or let the fear control us.  Which way would you prefer to live?

Share your thoughts with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!