Feel Good Friday

Who Will You Be Today?

Today we are going to stomp on those inner gremlins, getting us ready to sparkle for the weekend….

I don’t know about you but I struggle being confident. I know I write about and when people meet me they sometimes find it hard to believe but trust me, it is true.  I struggle with trying to be the woman God wants me to be.  I know I am not alone because I hear it from others all of the time.  Maybe you know someone who is feeling the same way?

Think about school shopping with your kids.  Were these some of the questions they pondered?

  • Jordache jeans, schrunchies and white L.A. Gear?
  • Lacoste, cardigans and penny loafers?
  • Black eyeliner, mega earrings and a mini-skirt?

Alright the brand or style may be a little different but you get it, right?  Many girls worry about looking like everyone else.  I was grateful my daughter, was just a tad different.  Unlike me, she wanted things the others weren’t buying for school.  She had her own style and didn’t worry about if she fit in because of her clothes.

These are the girls who stomp on their inner gremlins in their youth and move on to confident women.  Then there are those who hold on to those fears and people pleasing attitudes so when they grow up, they are struggling to stomp on the gremlins as adults.

I wasn’t sure of the girl I was or the girl I wanted to be. I stood on shaky ground relying on the fickle and flippant opinions of others. I bobbed and weaved to fit each situation I found myself in. I often found myself acting all sorts of ways, so I could be the person I thought my friends and family wanted.

As an adult, I fit other roles – single mom, career woman, wife, business owner.  In each one, I did the same bob and weave.  When I retired, the bob and weave stopped and I was stuck.  Stuck trying to find me and who I would be.  With the help of some amazing women, I found me and on most days STOMP the inner gremlins.

They helped me to see I don’t have to spin like the Tilt-O-Whirl at the amusement park; trying to be everything to everybody. Their encouragement, support and guidance has led me to a stronger walk in my faith and as a result not a copy of someone else.  I still skip the line in the comparison ride and jump on but each day I become more and more confident growing into the women I was meant to be.

Did you know, a girl’s self-esteem peaks at age 9 and only 4% of women describe themselves as beautiful?  Age 9 … before this crazy, comparison ride calls for them to get on.

As children grow from child to adult, God (or your Higher Power) can help them to build a solid foundation on Him, instead of on the ever changing opinions of others. They don’t have to feel like they’re constantly pushed in a million different directions. He can make them brave and give them the courage to be their true selves and build a confidence which stands firm for the days to come.

I found a book for girls between the ages of 8 – 12 years old.  It is something I wish I had found many years ago or at least when I was in my early years of HS.  The book is called “Brave Beauty: Finding the Fearless You”, by Lynn Cowell.  It is written especially for girls between the ages 8 – 12.  Lynn helps to prepare girls to:

  • Overcome confidence-defeating thoughts.
  • Shape their self-worth and overcome temptation based on environmental factors.
  • Build a strong foundation to face the fickle and flippant opinions of others.
  • Find approval of herself even when she lacks the acceptance of others.

I am grateful to be part of a company who developed Gives for this purpose:

We believe confident girls and women can lead more purposeful, thriving lives and are the key to strong families and communities. Gives is a partnership between our consultants, customers, hostesses and employees working together to support nonprofits aligned to our mission.

Every time you round-up your order, you help fulfill the mission of Thirty One Gives.  Your change helps to make a difference.  How will you help to make a difference in the lives of tween girls so they become confident, strong women?  Or maybe you are the woman who needs help stomping on the inner gremlins, reach out and know you are not alone….

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Hope Wissel

Don’t Go It Alone

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The countdown till Christmas is on…. okay, so it has been going on for awhile BUT as the kids countdown to their holiday break, it gets REAL!  The holidays for some bring a bag of mixed emotions – happy, sad, and fearful are just a few.  Some will spend the holidays alone while others although surrounded by friends and family will feel alone.  I am hear to let you know – you are not alone.

My emotions are on a roller coaster this holiday season.  Christmas will be spent with some family but mostly my extended family.  The New Year brings lots of changes in my business life.  Those old people-pleasing fears start to rear their nasty head causing me (and others) to seek solitude. The comparison game has gift giving becoming a “can you top this” instead of being “from the heart”.

I read an article recently which talked about being alone and how it is connected to our core fear of rejection.  We insist we are independent instead of letting others know we are just plain scared.  We claim we are focused rather than collaborating for fear of rejection. I have been sharing with all who will listen “I’m scared” about the shift from a regular paycheck to relying on my direct sales business for income.

As a CEO of my own business and even when I was working in the non-profit world, I never realized how solitary my work is. I write alone. I work in my office alone.  I make phone calls along.  I plan alone.  My home office is tucked downstairs and my team is scattered about in their home offices in this and other states.  Being an empty nester often brings more time alone.

The truth is we can make the most of being “alone” or we can wallow in sadness….

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“Alone” is where moments of inspiration unfold. “Alone” is also where moments of isolation steal your joy.   Each of us needs to find a balance between the two.  I know it isn’t easy this time of year.

As I embark on working my business FT, I am finding myself more passionate, purposeful and intentional about my work.  The thing which always seems to be missing and I am working hard to change this time around is Connection.  For it is when I connect with others, my life is transformed.  I am focusing on building relationships with my team, my hostesses and my customers.  My goal is to inspire while making a difference in the lives of others but to also connect with them. Stomping out the fear of rejection and refusing to play the comparison game.

These words are from Valerie Burton:

Everything in life is more meaningful when you make connection the goal. Connection isn’t “networking.” It is isn’t simply collaboration. It isn’t just communication. Connection is love. It is the moment, however brief, when your soul aligns with another and you serve one another’s needs in some way. It could be a smile, a touch, an idea, a word of encouragement, or act of support. But connection makes life and work juicy.

No one should be alone EVER but especially during the holidays.  Holidays are time for family and friends.  Family does not have to be defined by blood relation but can be those individuals who embrace you for the good, the bad and the ugly.

Today feels like mindless rambling but God put this on my heart.  Maybe for me to acknowledge my fears or maybe it was something someone else needed to hear.

How are you trying to go it alone this holiday season? What would making a connection give you in your personal or business life?

 Reach out. Connect. Don’t go it alone.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!