Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Be Yourself

Life in recovery with MS has been a struggle.  I have learned some hard lessons.  Through it all, the theme of “be yourself” keeps coming up.  I know I’m not alone when it comes to struggling with saying what you mean, doing what you love, or relaxing around certain people, right?  I usually blame it on the MS and brain fog but the truth is some days I am not feeling confident and comfortable with being me.  I have been digging  a little deeper lately through working the steps in NA and starting to accept me for me!   The steps help me  to uncover another layer of authenticity, and free myself to be unapologetically me..

Not being you is exhausting!   Did you ever consider the amount of energy it takes to keep up appearances, attempting to be perfect (like it will happen), pleasing other people (is it possible?), and trying to make yourself fit into situations which simply aren’t you? When we say “be yourself”, some of us even wonder what it means.  I honestly am not sure I even knew myself for many years.  I had a glimpse of me during my first go around at recovery and then it got lost in all of the “stuff” I got back as a result of my recovery.

Here are three practical strategies to help you maximize your best you:

1. Say what you need to say.

Do you beat around the bush figuring people will know what you mean when you say something?  Are you too afraid to speak up afraid of what others will think? Have you found yourself telling a little lie to avoid the embarrassment of telling the truth?  These are clear signs you are not being true to yourself.  This hit me like a brick – SMACK!  Try this simple exercise:  Identify one situation when you have not said what you need to say.   You know, you beat around the bush in the hopes someone understood.  Got the situation?  I want to you go to the person and just say it flat out.  If you can’t do it right now, mark it on your calendar to do it.  There was a time when I had no filters.  I said what I needed to say and didn’t worry about what people thought.  Early in my first recovery, I was eager to say what I was thinking and I didn’t worry about what people thought.  Over the years, things started changing.  Those old habits came back and I started the “people pleasing game again”.  We are as sick as our secrets, no matter how small those secrets are.  Authenticity means being forthright. Don’t waste your precious energy pretending all is well when it isn’t.  Take the word “FINE” out of your vocabulary.  Don’t let FEAR keep you in hiding!

2. Do what you know is right.

There is nothing more authentic than living your values. When your actions don’t line up with your beliefs, inner turmoil is sure to follow.  Do you actually know what your core values are? 

3. Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Okay, this is a tough one for me!  The truth is when we are uncomfortable in our own skin, it is usually because we haven’t given ourselves permission to be human.  In other words, we haven’t given ourselves permission to be imperfect.  We always want things to be perfect.  The perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect family, the perfect house… it is all part of the “I will be happy when” syndrome.  When you relax, you enjoy yourself more. It is time we value the journey as much, if not more than, the destination.  There will be bumps along the road – embrace them.  Climb over them and keep moving forward, they don’t have to keep you from reaching your purpose (or your goals).

What situations cause you to not be yourself?  What are you afraid will happen if you show people the real you?

Today, I will accept my weight where it is knowing I am eating healthier and NOT gaining weight.  I will accept my limitations because of my MS and will not longer hid what I can’t do.  I will accept my business is my business and will not play the comparison game.

I am stomping out the inner gremlins and being true to me…. what about you?

Have a blessed day!

Unclutter Your Life

Do You Downsize Your Dream?

Do you have BIG dreams? The kind which scare you and make you wonder if they are even possible…

Do you dream BIG for a moment and before the thought even finishes, you have found 100 different reasons it won’t happen?

There was a time (pre-MS brain fog) when I would DREAM BIG of having my own business where I was financially stable (no debt) , I could make my own hours and do what I wanted, when I wanted.  The dream soon became reality – or at least a little bit.  I have my own business where I make my own hours and am slowly becoming debt-free but I have downsized those dreams.

WHY?

For me, it is more about health issues.  I dreamed of promoting in Thirty One, of being part of the Gives Council BUT over the last year or so, I have begun to accept some things.  Traveling is more difficult.  Processing thoughts is a struggle most days.  My memory is just not what it used to be.  Some would say I settled.  Others would say I am realistic.  I am happy where I am, enjoying the moment.

Do You Dream BIG?

The truth is most people downsize their dreams out of fear. Fear of criticism. Fear of failure. Fear of success and doubts about whether they can keep it up. It’s risky to dream big. The truth is, the real risk is living small. It’s getting to the end of your life and realizing so much more was possible, if only you had been willing to listen to – and pursue – the desires of your heart.

What’s your real dream? Not the dream you’ve downsized so it feels more manageable, but the true desire of your heart. Too often, we surrender to fear and settle for something less than what we really want. We even try to convince ourselves we don’t want what we want. But it’s useless. You can try to bury your dream, but it doesn’t mean it will die.

One of the most powerful decisions successful women make is this:

I do not downsize my dream.

Whether it is a vision of being debt-free and financially independent or a career calling you or a fitness goal – be bold enough to declare your real dream and go after it. Persist. Do the hard work. Be willing to face disapproval or the criticism of others. In doing so, you will be true to yourself and set the stage for creating a life which is an authentic adventure of meaningful experiences.

Don’t judge other’s dreams or even when they change their dreams.  Don’t compare yourself to others if you have similar dreams or goals.  These are the thoughts which will keep you dreaming small or not dreaming at all.  They will keep you from living the life you were meant to have.

What is YOUR big dream?  Share it with us.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel

What Decision Does Every Successful Woman Make?

Fearless. It’s a frequently used word. We’re told to be fearless. It is something we aim for, right?  But what does it really mean?  According to Webster it is to have a “lack fear”.  And fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat“.  Is being fearless really what we want tor need in order to succeed?  Many say fearlessness is a myth.  The truth is if you want to succeed and have a more fulfilling life, you need to be brave – NOT fearless.

Brave and courage are synonymous…. Courage is my word for this year.  Think about it…

If your heart gets broken, you become afraid to open it to the possibility of love, right?  Isn’t courage which gives you the hope to love again.

When you get burned out in your career (or your business) and you dream something better is possible, isn’t it courage which empowers you to try something new.

When you’ve made poor money decisions, have credit card debt or are blindsided financially and have to start over, it takes courage to believe it’s possible, right?

Over the last month, I have had the courage to make some major changes in my life.  They all actually started in some way about 8 months ago but I have had the courage to face some things head on this month.  I started opening up about my past mistakes to others without fear of judgement.  I am only as sick as my secrets and I don’t want to be sick anymore.  I see the glimmer of hope as my creative juices start to flow again – ready to venture into doing more of my angel side hustle.  I have revamped my budget and am keeping tight reins on my spending.  I am willing to accept suggestions on how to run my business from those who have a more experience instead of hiding in fear.  I am willing to accept and embrace my MS and the changes it has caused me to make in my life – facing the limitations with courage instead of allowing fear of what I am losing take over.

Do I still have hurdles to climb?  YES!  Do I still struggle with fear?  YES!  The inner gremlins of pride, comparison and worrying what people think play with my thoughts.  Each day I gain a little bit more courage which translates into a little bit more peace in my life.

No matter what your challenges or dreams are, you will face obstacles causing doubt and fear to rise up.  Those inner gremlins you thought were long buried or even gone will raise their head and feel revived when they sense even just a wisp of doubt.  The difference can be every single time YOU can make the decision to choose courage. Even if your first response isn’t courage (yup, it happens sometimes), your second response can be. Over and over again, if we are going to live authentic, full lives, we must choose courage.

Today, I challenge you to repeat this simple mantra when you are struggling – :“I choose courage over fear.”  Some days, I use the Serenity Prayer multiple times to keep me on track.  What situation or area of your life do you need to choose courage over fear right now?  Share it with us…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Business Tips and Tricks

Are You Missing One of These in Your Business?

Thank you Christie Browning for today’s tips….

I love my business. If you know me, you know it!!!!  Whether it is my Thirty One business or my handcrafted angels, I love having my own business.  I love the flexibility. I love the freedom to take visions to fruition.  I love sharing my love with everyone.  Now, I will be the first to admit on any given day I miss out on opportunities.  On those days, I tend to be more focused on “making money” to pay bills, so I blow past some of the things I need to have a successful business.  Don’t get me wrong, making money (and paying bills) is what we work for.  The truth is, I can’t sustain my sales (neither can you) if your business isn’t built on a strong foundation.

#1 – Know where you’re going and why you want to get there

I know we have all answered (or at least tried to) the question of our why…. We need to know what it is to be successful, right?  I have talked about the emotional why many times – it is the real root of why you want to be in business.  It is the inner motivation which pushes you when your tired, you want to give up, you are out of your comfort zone, and to push past your fears. Why is being a success important to you?  What will you gain if you are successful?

I struggle with tapping into my emotional why. as a result of my MS.  The key to the emotional why is your ability to paint a vivid picture of what “success” looks like to you.  It isn’t the same for everyone!  By identifying what the finish line looks like, you will know when you cross it, so you can celebrate and know you’ve arrived!  Your finish line might be clearer as you get closer to it but you need a visual picture NOW. The visual should touch your heartstrings and drum up some emotions when you think of it.

Key #2 – It’s your business – make it so!

You are designing YOUR business so make it yours!  I know it sounds crazy BUT how many times have you tried to copy someone else’s business (especially in direct sales) because they have risen to the top of the company?  I have been there, done that and got the tee shirt.  It doesn’t work!  I am learning (yup, took me 7 years!) my business will be different and might probably come together in a different way because it is MINE!  Be sure to design your business around your strengths and passions. Structure it around your time and calendar whether it is a part time or a full time gig.  You get to call the shots.  The key is to be sure to be true to yourself .  Remember your customers buy because they trust you – stand out in a crowd for what you want your business to look like.

Key #3 – Put the right process in place to win

I don’t know about you BUT I LOVE vendor events and home parties.  I LOVE connecting with people face to face.  Some would say it is the glamorous side of our direct sales business.  The truth is, success is made behind the scenes, in the nitty-gritty facets of your business (the parts we may not like).  Just showing up at events or parties is not going to keep your business consistent nor is it going to guarantee you success.  So, what system do you use to keep track of all of the “other things” you HAVE to do?  Do you have set days for follow-up with customers?  Do you know your target market?  I use a tickler file and LOTS of notes on my planner to make sure I keep up with order follow-up, mailings, booking leads and so much more.

Key #4 – Making the noise to bring in the biz

For some, marketing is the fun stuff!  For others, it is a hodgepodge mess.  You need to know who you are as a business and who you are trying to serve.  Do you know what your brand is? Branding is simply something which when people see it they think of YOU (and the ripple effect is thinking of your business).  It is the tone and feel of your business – such as the colors, images, and graphics you use.  I ALWAYS say “Have a ThirtyOne-derful day” – my customers expect it.  LOL.  Angels have become a part of my marketing…. they are part of my team logo as well as the watermark I use in all of my graphics.   What do you want their experience to be like after they interacted with you and your company? I want my customers to know I am all about making a difference in their lives and the lives of others.  I want them to know I am a down to earth “take me as I am” kind of gal.  The key to great branding is to be true to you. Don’t try to be something your NOT because it won’t connect with or feel authentic to your customers. Your brand is an extension of YOU and should be reflected in all you do, say and show.

I know this sounds like A LOT so take it slow and easy.  Start with one and work your way through…. Which one will you start with?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Unclutter Your Life

Who Are You Really?

 Over the last two months I have been learning some hard lessons.  Through it all, the theme of “be yourself” keeps coming up.  I know I’m not alone when it comes to struggling with saying what you mean, doing what you love, or relaxing around certain people, right?  I usually blame it on the MS and brain fog but the truth is some days I am not feeling confident and comfortable with being me.  I have been digging  a little deeper lately.  I have even gone back to working my steps from NA.  A chance to uncover another layer of authenticity, and free myself to be unapologetically me..

Not being you is exhausting!   Did you ever consider the amount of energy it takes to keep up appearances, attempting to be perfect (like it will happen), pleasing other people (is it possible?), and trying to make yourself fit into situations which simply aren’t you? When we say “be yourself”, some of us even wonder what it means.

Here are three practical strategies to help you maximize your best you:

1. Say what you need to say.

Do you beat around the bush figuring people will know what you mean when you say something?  Are you too afraid to speak up afraid of what others with think? Have you found yourself telling a little lie to avoid the embarrassment of telling the truth?  These are clear signs you are not being true to yourself.  This hit me like a brick – SMACK!  Try this simple exercise:  Identify one situation when you have not said what you need to say.   You know, you beat around the bush in the hopes someone understood.  Got the situation?  I want to you go to the person and just say it flat out.  If you can’t do it right now, mark it on your calendar to do it.  There was a time when I had no filters.  I said what I needed to say and didn’t worry about what people thought.  Early in my recovery, I was eager to say what I was thinking and I didn’t worry about what people thought.  Over the years, things started changing.  Those old habits came back and I started the “people pleasing game again”.  We are as sick as our lies, no matter how small those lies are.  Authenticity means being forthright. Don’t waste your precious energy pretending all is well when it isn’t.  Take the word “FINE” out of your vocabulary.  Don’t let FEAR keep you in hiding!

2. Do what you know is right.

There is nothing more authentic than living your values. When your actions don’t line up with your beliefs, inner turmoil is sure to follow.  Do you actually know what your core values are? 

3. Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Okay, this is a tough one for me!  The truth is when we are uncomfortable in our own skin, it is usually because we haven’t given ourselves permission to be human.  In other words, we haven’t given ourselves permission to be imperfect.  We always want things to be perfect.  The perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect family, the perfect house… it is all part of the “I will be happy when” syndrome.  When you relax, you enjoy yourself more. It is time we value the journey as much, if not more than, the destination.  There will be bumps along the road – embrace them.  Climb over them and keep moving forward, they don’t have to keep you from reaching your purpose (or your goals).

What situations cause you to not be yourself?  What are you afraid will happen if you show people the real you?

I am stomping out the inner gremlins and being true to me…. what about you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!