- Identify what happened to cause the change
- Why did it happen
- How can I use this for my personal growth
- What changes can I make to improve in the future
- Where can I find help or who can help
This morning I was struggling about what to post…. when this happens I generally scroll through the hundreds of past blog posts to see if something grabs my attention. I’m grateful for the long list of blogs because it is a reminder of my life – the good, the bad and the ugly.
As the end of the fiscal year with Thirty One ends and a new one begins – doubt starts to creep in. Weird since I had my highest career sales in 2020-2021 and most days I am comfortable where my business and my life are. It usually means, I haven’t taken enough time to seek God’s guidance in the morning.
Every morning in my Facebook memories, I see a quote from “Get Your Girl Back Movement” and no matter how old the message is, it seems to hit home! Today’s was…
You can do it Hope and if you couldn’t, God would not have given you the dream in the first place. If you would have put as much time into your dream as you do questioning yourself and your ability it would have already been accomplished. Now- stop asking and go make your dream come true!
Kind of funny because since the MS, I struggle with dreaming. I have a wish list of things I would like to do but not a BIG dream. My last BIG dream was to pay off my credit card debt and I’m grateful with the help of my side hustle, this is DONE! Financial freedom can be scary for an addict in recovery – money in the savings account, bills paid and the ability to enjoy each day without the stress of how to pay for things. I have to consciously remember how unmanageable life was during my addiction (yes, shopping can be an addiction too).
MS has taught me to live in the moment (most days) because who knows what tomorrow will bring. Planning long term can be stressful and tends to lead me into a fix, manage and control state of mind. Not good for my MS or my recovery. I think I squirreled.. LOL.
As I think about the new fiscal business year, I wonder what God would want me to do. I’m doing a 6-week training program so I am focusing on being intentional about what God wants from me each day. The problem is when a thought or idea hits, Doubtful Debbie pays a visit. What are my dreams? Are they mine or what I think they “should be”? Will they bring me joy? Will they help me reach my purpose in life? I know I am not alone, right?
Then out of no where the message “STOP QUESTIONING YOURSELF” appears. I take a breath and quiet my mind (not always easy). I know my purpose is “to make a difference”, as basic as it is, it is my life’s mission. From simply putting a smile on someone’s face, sharing words of encouragement, or raising funds for a cause – one small act of kindness can make a difference.
I’m not sure who needed to hear this, but I hope at least one person is helped by knowing they are not alone. How do I stop questioning myself? As soon as I realize it is happening, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and release. Bless and release. Sounds easy, right? Believe me, if you struggle with this – you know it takes lots of practice. If I can’t get out of my head I do something else – work on my puzzle, read, take a walk and enjoy God’s beauty or work on a blog post. I do things to bring me joy and help me to kick Doubtful Debbie to the curb.
What are YOU questioning yourself about? Do you have a dream that gets pushed to the side when life gets too busy? Or are you like me and when that happens, you begin to doubt your dream? Just for today, stop asking AND make your dream come true. Who is with me??
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
At Thirty-One, giving is part of who we are
The name Thirty-One comes from Proverbs 31, which describes a community-oriented woman who gives back and helps others. From the start, community and giving have been at the heart of every decision we make as a company. As Thirty-One grew, we realized we had the power to make a real impact in the world. So, to help us take our mission even further, in 2012 we created Thirty-One Gives, our charitable program. The mission? Empower girls, women and families to build the confidence and self-esteem needed to live a purposeful, thriving life.
The Thirty-One sales field is a community made up of thousands of women, and we’ve seen firsthand how the opportunity to own an independent business can change lives. We believe confident girls become strong women who lead healthy families and build thriving communities. When women are supported and celebrated, they go on to make a positive impact in the lives of others!
Since its founding, Thirty-One Gives has donated over $100 million in product and cash to charitable organizations that share our mission. From breast cancer research to children’s mental health awareness and support for military families, we’ve forged partnerships with leading national organizations that support important causes near and dear to our heart and to the hearts of our Consultants.
Giving in action: How we give back
One way we’ve made giving a part of our everyday business is through the Round Up! program. At checkout, every Thirty-One customer has the opportunity to Round Up! their order to the nearest dollar or make a donation of any amount to support our mission. Proceeds from Round Up! benefit a different philanthropic partner each season, allowing us to spread resources and hope to different causes and proving that every cent truly makes a difference.
Between Round Up! and donations of cash and product, we’ve been able to accomplish some pretty amazing things, from donating thousands of dollars to support organizations that combat domestic violence to providing care packages for families with children in the hospital. Not to mention the thousands of fundraisers our Consultants have held to raise money and collect donations for causes they believe in.
A community with heart
Not only is Thirty-One Gives about empowering and giving back to women, girls and families –it’s about relationships. We’re only able to do what we do thanks to the passion of our entire community of Customers, Consultants, Insiders and Home Office employees. If you’ve ever bought a Thirty-One tote or hosted a party with us, you’ve been a part of our giving story. The next time you shop with us, consider rounding up to continue supporting our charitable efforts. When we all work together, we can make a huge difference.
My customers have donated over 500 chemo comfort bags, as well as zipper pouches for our troops, dialysis comfort bags, Easter baskets, Mother’s Day gifts, and supported countless families in the community. Fundraising opportunities are available. My next give back program is for Rooted in Love – mini zipper pouches filled with necessities to share some kindness with women who are struggling.
Thank you for helping us to make a difference.
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
My strength comes from God but he gave me an amazing momma to help me along the way…..
Have you ever wondered where you get the strength to go on? Or how you can be strong when others would have thrown in the towel?
I never really thought of myself as being strong BUT I knew my momma was…….despite LOTS of struggles, she came through it. She continues to shine even on her worst days. She instilled a sense of faith in me very early. I know it is her faith which kept her going on the worse days. Despite my bad choices and in my darkest days, I knew no matter what God had his hand on me and would take care of me. I am grateful for the lessons she taught me.
Today is momma’s birthday………..
I won’t disclose her age but she DEFINITELY doesn’t look it. The last year has been tough but she has continued to remain strong. It is her inner strength which continues to guide her even on the hardest days.
Let me tell you a little about this AMAZING woman… I have to admit, I’m grateful for years of blogging since I struggle to remember….
Growing up, Mom was always there. She made sure our home was always open to my friends – I mean we were the house to go to after a basketball game or when there was no place else to go. I may not have been thrilled but I was grateful I could pick up the phone and say – I am on my way with 2, 10, 25 or more people. The house was always stocked with snacks. After my Junior Prom, my parents made breakfast for over 300 kids. Yes, the parade of non-stop kids through the house was a little more than this teenager was ready for but mom stood strong.
Off to college I went and there were struggles. Freshman year, my parents divorced and it wasn’t easy. I was in Rhode Island while mom was home holding down the fort. Scrimping pennies to make sure I had a home to come back to. They were tough years but we had fun. She often traveled to Rhode Island for a weekend where we toured the mansions of Newport, shopped in Fall River and she even camped out in my dorm room. After college, I headed home to work locally, moving back in with mom. We spent countless nights walking the boardwalk in Ocean Grove. Fast forward to my move to Egg Harbor Township and more years of rough roads. In my addiction, I admit I pulled away and mom practiced some tough love but our relationship survived the test. Along came Belinda and in the beginning there were struggles but through it all – mom was there. She helped emotionally, financially and physically. Despite some differences and hiccups in the road – she was there.
When Belinda left for college and I moved to Brick, it was a rough time for both of us. Lives changed – I had a new hubby and the one hour drive to visit in Mays Landing felt like an eternity. Then came my relapse and again mom was there. She was there to help me through those early rough days. Day trips to Mays Landing were done about once a month and there never seemed to be enough time. Juggling travel up and down the parkway, MS issues, medical appointments, and life always seemed to throw us a curve ball.
Fast forward to 2020, when after a quick unexpected sale of the condo in Brick, hubby and I moved to Mays Landing. Finally just 20 minutes away. Grateful to spend the holidays together, cooking in our new home. Now I can actually stop by whenever I want or help out when something is needed.
My memories may be gone but in my heart I know I learned A LOT from my mom. She taught me: how to be strong when life is rough, how to save and budget (okay, so this lesson took longer to learn), the importance of family and about being a mom. She reminds me to believe in myself (you would think I would know this by now). I can honestly say my mom is one of my best friends.
When you think about your qualities – strength, perseverance, or faith – have you thought about where you got them from? We usually think they are a result of the bumps in the road, and they do help build strong character traits. BUT our family – parents, siblings, extended family – help to shape us as well. They are the ones who help to mold us into the person God would want us to be. Remember to thank them.
Mom, thank you for all you have done, continue to do and or always being there. I love you! Hope you have a blessed birthday!
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
Faith is “complete trust or confidence in someone or something”.
Trust is “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”.
Why is it so much easier to trust someone or something than it is to have faith? I will be honest, the two words sometimes get confused in my head. Nothing unusual with the onset of MS….
We trust every day – driving on the highway a car won’t cross the line, flying in a plane we won’t crash – yet when it comes to having faith in a Higher Power (I chose to call God), we want more. I often hear individuals talk about struggling with the idea of a higher power, of having faith there is something greater who is loving and caring. Yet, we readily jump in the back pockets of other recovering addicts “trusting” they will lead us in the right direction since they have some clean time. It is a very fine line but who doesn’t like the thrill of walking a tightrope without the chance of falling.
Life has had its ups and downs lately. Nothing dramatic and probably no more than usual. The impact my relapse has had on my life (and my relationships) rears it ugly head some days which can send me spiraling. Life on life’s terms was never promised to be easy. I have faith God will restore relationships completely when the time is right. I have faith he wraps his loving arms around me, giving me comfort when I am weak and struggling. I have faith he will help me close the door on Debbie Doubtful and Negative Nellie when they come to call. I have faith when the time is right those relationships will be restored and all will be well. I also face the fact, they may never look like what I want them to be but I trust it will be right for those involved.
Today, I don’t have to be the selfish, self-centered person I was (I want what I want when I want it). I wanted to fix, manage and control situations and people so I could feel better. I can change. It took me a long time to totally understand how self-centered I was. My justification used to be to make a list of the things I did for everyone else, or to sacrifice what I wanted to do, so how am I being self-centered? I have learned to trust others when they point out this definite character flaw. It is my faith which allows me to believe they were brought into my life for a reason. See the fine line???
As the world reels from the “virus”….. “who do you trust?” “do you have faith?”. Are you being negative and jumping on the anger wagon during this crisis? Does this “interfere” with your life? My one day at a time perspective and the inability to remember things has helped me keep a positive attitude in light of all of the negativity. Showing kindness towards others in dark times is more important than ever. Thanking those who are working hard to stock shelves. Thanking those who are helping others who can’t get out. Stopping by my favorite small business to share some “angel love” and support them during this difficult time. I trust we will get through this. I have faith this is a blessing in disguise. Sometimes darkness needs to come before there is light. Look at the positive side of all the closings. Be grateful you have a home to go to. Be grateful you have family to be locked in with -even if we may want to kill them. LOL. Be grateful there is some food and some toilet paper. Please no hate mail.
I know I have probably squirreled throughout this post but my heart was heavy this morning thinking about things. As we start to talk and plan hubby’s retirement, the “woulda, shoulda, couldas” come along. I loose focus on who I am becoming, loving myself (okay I will start with liking myself) and start to force the memories of the past. Struggling for memories brings frustration which brings negative thoughts and questions everything. It is only when I trust in my Higher Power and have faith he will restore those memories if and when the time is right, I find peace.
If you are struggling with faith, look for the little blessings in your day. What you call coincidences, I call blessings or your Higher Power at work. Maybe your Higher Power is a loved one who passed. Maybe it is your dog. Yup, it can be anything or anyone you want it to be who is greater than you. I’m a visual person since processing words is tough anymore… so someone holding the door, a random smile from a stranger, a hug from another recovering addict, a random call or text from someone you haven’t heard from in awhile… These things are blessings from a power greater than yourself. Are you struggling with finding supplies during the “stocking up”? Maybe someone shares their toilet paper or drops off a meal for your family or gives you the gallon of milk from their cart. These are all your Higher Power at work. Have faith, even as small as a mustard seed……….they are really tiny! All things are possible.
Check out of my favorite songs. Listen and trust there is a plan for all of us…
So, just for TODAY, will you join me in trusting your Higher Power has a plan for you. He will guide you when you swerve off course as long as you EMBRACE his love and open your heart to all he has for you. As you do this, your faith will grow just like the mustard seed.
Have a blessed day!