Hope Wissel

Celebrate Negativity

2014-05-15 21.57.56

Are you struggling with your direct sales business?  Are parties becoming more difficult to book?  Do you feel like you are tapping the same people all the time?

As a result, are you frustrated, or having self-doubt, discouraged or maybe even a little depressed?  Have you resorted to comparing yourself to others?  Maybe you have said “I am just not good at sales” or “I guess I picked the wrong company”.

The truth is that your negative thoughts are affecting your ability to communicate clearly.  Those same thoughts affect your motivation, your perspective, your ability share (not sell) or even notice when there is an unexpected opportunity.

Negativity takes many forms.  For those of us in direct sales who rely on our people skills to build our business – our state of mind is directly proportional to our results.

I know, saying “eliminate negativity” is sometimes easier said then done, right?

Think about the times you feel positive.  You are optimistic.  You have clarity and can see your vision (or why).  You enthusiastically interact with others.  Best of all, you’re in a much better place to influence and lead others.  So monitoring your emotional state is one of the keys to success for many with a home based businesses.

I have just spent a week “celebrating” my anger/frstration.  I know crazy, right?  It was an exercise from abundance coach Eryka Peskin.  By celebrating our anger and frustrations, we gain a clue to our desires.   That was powerful for me.  Our anger (and negativity) is often triggered when our desires aren’t met…or when they’re actively disregarded or devalued. If you’re angry (or negative) about something, it’s a great opportunity to explore it and figure out EXACTLY which of your desires aren’t being met..AND what you can do to change that.

So, when you are experiencing negativity – STOP and name the type of negativity you’re experiencing.  Is it fear, judgment, impatience, etc.?  This is the hardest part because we are usually so caught in what provoked our feelings that we can’t see anything else.

Now that you have recognized it, what made you negative?  Identify the desire that you wanted.  Was it more income, more girl time, to have me time, etc?  What was your desire that was not met?  State your desire!

Next is to “Have compassion for yourself and that you experiencing this”.  Don’t judge yourself for being negative!  By judging yourself, it will only make it harder to move forward and take some positive steps.

Celebrate the negativity, identify the desire and make a plan to reach that desire.  Give yourself a mental hug. Or get someone to give you a hug. Or both!  Take a few deep breaths and relax.

When you replace the negative thoughts with a clear vision of  your desire, it will be natural to stay positive.  There may be some side effects of the negative feelings so you will need to focus on the new vision.

This simple formula of celebrating the negativity so that you can identity your desires has helped me to get back on track.  Maintaining a positive attitude will allow you to function at a higher level of effectiveness in your business.

Here is an example:  I celebrate that I am disappointed in my sales and bookings for the last few months.  I have a desire for a successful business and to do that, I desire structure that allows me to connect with people.

Celebrate your negativity today along with YOUR desire – share them with us!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!


Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

Change Your Booking Question

“Would you like to book a party with me?”  I have to admit, I HATE asking this question.  Sounds kind of crazy for a person whose business is a home party business, right?  The truth is, I feel like I am being desperate or that pushy salesman that I vowed to never be when I joined Thirty One.  Remember, I was the one who vowed NEVER to have a home party.  I go back to my days at NA – NEVER say NEVER!

So, when booking parties focuses on YOUR personal need – commission, incentive trip or product that is for YOU and not your hostess, you are on the border of being the pushy consultant.  As you know, I LOVE Julie Anne Jones and she is consistently teaming up with other AWESOME trainers to help us build our business.

I had the opportunity to listen to a webinar called “How to Book Parties without Being Pushy” by Melanie Parker.  It shared tips, some I have heard before, about changing the focus of my energy to making it all about others.  Zig Ziglar says it best:

zig ziglar


It sounds so simple, so why do we have such a hard time doing it?  I mean who wouldn’t love to have guests jumping out of their seats to book parties with you, begging you to book which means a full calendar for you!  How do we do this so that it becomes a habit and we don’t let Doubtful Debbie step in?

It is all in the way we ask the question.  When we ask the question, we want to frame the question as an offer instead of an closed ended question which get you no place – just a simple yes or no answer.  How about some of these options?

“Renee, I want you as one of my June hosts! I cannot believe how much you added to the party tonight! You are fun! Let’s look at our schedules and see when we can get together. Which week works best for you?”

“Marilyn, I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation earlier tonight and how completely busy you said you’ve been. I think you need a break, and I’d be absolutely honored if you would let me be the one to set it up for you. Let’s figure out when we can find a time to get you and your friends together. What does your calendar look like next month?”

See how easy that is? You’re still using a question, but now it’s an open ended question proceeded by lots of acknowledgement. And it’s clear that you’re more interested in her needs than your own.  For me, this is going to take LOTS of practice.  I have conversations with everyone when I am doing a full-service checkout BUT I never get to the open ended question.

I am going to be intentional when I talk to party guests so that I can BOOK – BOOK – BOOK!  Who is going to join me?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!