Bounce Back from Rejection

 Do you hate hearing the word NO?  I know I do whether it is in my business or in my personal life.  No matter what, I usually take it personally.  Crazy, right?  I mean when I ask someone to join my team or host a party and they say NO, does it really mean they don’t like me?  Probably not.  They just aren’t interested in the “offer”.

I love this analogy…. Do you think a waiter/waitress gets upset or takes it personal when they offer you desert and you say no?  Do you think they stop offering?  No, they just keep asking and eventually someone will say YES!

How often does the fear of hearing the word “no” stop you in your tracks?  As a result you keep your ideas to yourself.  Or maybe you hold back from asking for what you want (or need)? Or maybe you never step out of your comfort zone?  Whatever the fear keeps you from doing, it has definitely led you into living a life of regret.

Do you know someone who is resilient?  Do you know someone who no matter what keeps moving forward to reach their goal?  Do you long to be the person who doesn’t take NO personally?

Here are four ways to change the way you see the word “no” so you keep moving forward, don’t get your feelings hurt, and get up the courage to try again:

1. Other’s rejection can be heaven-sent protection.

  Yes, sometimes a “no” deserves a happy dance. Believe it or not, the Universe might have just saved you.  Think of it as if you just dodged a bullet you didn’t even know was coming. Rejoice! You’ve just been saved from a boatload of problems.  I know it is tough to do but with practice, it gets easier.

2. Don’t take things personally.

Okay, so I won’t lie this is so hard for me – the proverbial people pleaser.  I have to remind myself (more often then I want to admit) what others say and do is not about me; it is about them.  Every once in a while I need the gentle kick in the butt as a reminder “the world does not revolve around me”!  I don’t intentionally think like this but it happens or at least my actions seem as if I think this way.  Admit it, I am not alone!   When we understand everything truly is not about us – it takes away the personal aspect, it frees us up to accept you can get caught in the path of other people’s battles and issues which have nothing to do with YOU – your abilities, or your worth.

3. You deserve to be in relationship with people who want to be in relationship with you.

So true for personal and professional relationships. If you have to chase a someone, there is an imbalance.  As a result, your contribution to the relationship is valued as less than what someone else brings to the relationship. This is when feelings of rejection and unworthiness are repeatedly reinforced throughout the relationship. Value relationships with people who want to be in relationship with you – who see your worth, who respect and value you, your time, your strengths. When you decide you deserve this, you won’t see “no” as rejection.  No will be a sign the relationship will not offer you the balance you desire.

4. “No” today doesn’t mean “no” forever.

Timing is key. I tell my team this all of the time.  After 6 plus years in direct sales, if I stopped asking everyone who said no to me if they wanted to have a party; I would be out of business!  This is how we start to build relationships with potential customers, hostesses and team members.  You need to keep the doors of communication open. When they say “no”, I usually ask a few more questions to understand why they said no. Then I ask them if I can reach out again and ask.  They will usually respond with a “yes”.  The door is still open allowing you to figure out how to get to a “yes” the next time.

Situations are different with everyone – someone struggle with hearing the word no in their business but keep moving forward when it is in their personal life.  For others, the reverse is true.  There are even those who can’t handle the word “no” in any part of their life.  The key is to not take it personally.

I challenge you this week to not let a “rejection” leave you feeling bad about yourself. Change the “no” into something which will empower you to keep moving forward to reach your goal.

What is a “no” you haven’t been able to bounce back from?  Can you use any of these tips to help you move forward?  Change the negative to a positive….Share it with us

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

What Matter’s Most

You hear all of the hype and negativity about direct sales.  You hear about the “scams”.  You hear about businesses closing.  What you seldom hear about is the AMAZING hearts of direct sellers especially those in leadership.

I’m not talking about the BIG fundraisers but about the way many leaders love on their team.  It is the heart of a leader which leads people to a team or a business.  Heart is actually a big reason people are attracted to direct selling and why they stay.  Heart builds relationships and brings joy.  Who doesn’t want more joy in their life?

What matter’s most?

The topic of last year’s Thirty One National Conference and it is a question I ask myself a lot.  When we know what’s in the heart of our teams – we are able to create a strong bond and build a relationship with them.  As a leader, it is up to us to help them identify what matters, it is where their why resides.  I will be the first to admit, I struggle to get to my why some days mainly because of health (memory issues).

As we start a new Thirty One year, I am reaching out to my team (and those potential recruits) to see if I can help them uncover their why.  When everyone has a clear picture of what matters most to them personally, connects it to their business – they will be on fire!

I know, we have all been asked – what is your why?  For most of us, it is about financial freedom, or staying home with the kids.  But is the basic why enough to get you out of bed on a bad day?  Is it is enough to keep you moving forward when there are no parties, or no sales?

It is about digging deeper – uncovering what matters most to them (and you).  How can you tell you have reached their true why?  The emotions will shift and you will hear it.  When I hit my true why, It usually brings tears

I have told the story often of a coaching call many years ago which helped me to work towards and achieve my goal (at the time) of being Director.  Hope Shortt spent an hour on the phone with me asking me questions and helping me to uncover my why.  It was the most emotional coaching call I can ever remember – it brings tears to my eyes even now remembering it like it was yesterday.  What mattered most to me?  My family being proud of me. I wanted to hear their words of affirmation (one of my love languages).  For some, this may seem shallow BUT for someone who struggles with confidence – it was HUGE.

Not sure how to reach your WHY or help your team reach theirs?  Listen and then listen some more.  It is important to have an action plan BUT it is also important to engage the power of their motivation.  A plan won’t work on the tough days if they can’t connect to their motivation for working the action plan.

Here are some questions to help them (or you) connect to WHAT’S important with WHY it’s important.

• What makes this important to you?
• Who do you impact when you achieve this?
• What difference will this make to you and your family?
• What will it look like when you accomplish this?
• How will you feel when you accomplish this?

The key to each of these questions it acknowledging what you hear and then repeating it back to make sure you understood their answers.  When you see their emotions shift, you will know they have found their “true” why.  It is then, you can spend time exploring the ripple effect of what it will be like when their why is their reality.

When you connect to the hearts of your team, not only will your business grown but you will also build lifelong relationships. Once they have connected with their why, keep it in front of them.  The motivation of their why will create action, and actions produce results.

Share your why with us… Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Happy St. Patty’s Day

Do you have the luck of the Irish?  Is it an old’s wives tale or do the Irish really have more luck than the average person?  If you were to surround yourself with successful people would they all need to be Irish?

Think about the people you surround yourself with.  Think about your different communities – are the people you surround yourself with a good influence on you and your business?

Here are some suggestions on how to surround yourself with success:

• Identify the three major business relationships you have.   At first, I thought this was about my 3 major business relationships – my customers, my hostesses and my team.  Yes, these three groups of people absolutely help me to succeed and meet my business goals BUT what about your business communities.  Those who support, encourage and celebrate you on a regular basis.  Maybe it is Facebook Community or a business coach/mentor or maybe it is your business partner or even a networking group you are a member of.  REMEMBER: consider forming new professional relationships with successful people you can bring to the forefront of your inner circle.
• Learn from the negative.  No matter what industry you’re in, there are going to be a number of negative people and/or situations (think Eeyore).  Instead of letting this negativity bog you down and keep you from doing your absolute best, use it to learn what NOT to do and bolster yourself onto your own successful path (think Tigger).  Will you be an Eeyore or a Tigger?  Which are you – I am a Tigger!!!

• You don’t have to actually know successful people to learn from them.  Take what they can offer you about success in business and apply those things to your own situation.  I am blessed to have some VERY successful people who have been helping to continue to grow my business – my Thirty One sisters, Desiree Wolfe and the League of Audacious Women as well as some AMAZING women I have had the privilege of meeting and learning from.
• Pay it forward.  Maybe those around you who seem negative just need someone to inspire them.  Don’t be afraid to be the person.  Your determination to be successful can certainly influence someone else in a positive way if you exude your optimism and drive in all that you do.  I LOVE paying it forward.  Sharing with my team and potential Rays of HOPE team members.  Paying it forward it part of my God-sized dream..

Surrounding yourself with success, can be a challenge.  It is an important challenge to take on because your attitude is a key indicator of your success.  What are some ways you surround yourself with success? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!  

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

BINGO Night

TONIGHT is the night!  Isn’t that part of a song?  I am so excited to be co-hosting this event with the AWESOME Lori Williams from Pink Zebra.  Lori and I met through mutual friends on Facebook.  Yes, you can build relationships on social media.  If you want to join us, there is still time.  By teaming up with another direct sales consultant we are able to expand both of our circles to meet new customers.

Here is the 411 on the behind the scenes for the event:

What do you need? I bought a BINGO set at a flea market for $5. I wasn’t crazy about the basket BUT it has a board which makes it easy to track the numbers called.  There are also  BINGO cards that shuffle like a deck of cards to call numbers. I got a LARGE quantity of BINGO sheets on Amazon and they have lasted for a long time. I still have some after about 4 BINGO sessions

Location? Any place, really. My first few were in my home. Then I moved to a larger place. We have used FREE locations and for this one there was a rental charge for the room.  For tonight’s event, there will be happy hour bar prices and happy hour appetizers for participants.  The hotel is supplying water, popcorn and pretzels for the tables which is included in the cost of the room.

Cost? Guests pay $15 for 6 game boards.  Additional game boards were available for $2 each with a maximum of 3 boards per game per person. You know there are some crazy BINGO players out there who play up to 10 boards at a time and we wanted to make it fair for everyone.

How it works? The money collected is used to pay for the space THEN it is divided between the co-hosts to offset the cost of the gift certificate prizes.

Agenda for the night:

• AGENDA
• WELCOME – Your Hosts
• Game 1 & 2
• Pink Zebra Specials
• Game 3 & 4
• Thirty One Specials
• Game 5 & 6
• Wrap Up – Shopping

Additional tips:

• Cash and carry will be available by both vendors
• There will be a display of current and upcoming specials
• Invite people to host a table. Offer them the hostess benefits from the orders prior to the event AND at their table.

Whose ready to shout BINGO? Want to raise money for a cause or just have a fun, girl’s night out. Contact me for details.

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Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Happy St. Patty’s Day

Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!! I am only a small part Irish but I do remember people talking about my grandmother’s Irish temper.  Of course, I never saw it – I mean really, that was Grams.

Do you have the luck of the Irish? Is that an old’s wives tale or do the Irish really have more luck than the average person? If you were to surround yourself with successful people would they all need to be Irish?

Think about the people that you surround yourself with – are they having a good influence on you and your business? Here are some suggestions on how to surround yourself with success:

• Identify the three major business relationships you have. My 3 major business relationships are: my customers, my hostesses and my team. Do they help you succeed and meet my business goals? YES!  REMEMBER: consider forming new professional relationships with successful people that you can bring to the forefront of your inner circle.
• Learn from the negative. No matter what industry you’re in, there are going to be a number of negative people and/or situations (think Eeyore). Instead of letting this negativity bog you down and keep you from doing your absolute best, use it to learn what NOT to do and bolster yourself onto your own successful path (think Tigger). Will you be an Eeyore or a Tigger? I am a Tigger!!!
• You don’t have to actually know successful people to learn from them. Take what they can offer you about success in business and apply those things to your own situation. I am blessed to have some VERY successful people who have been helping me to grow my business – my Thirty One sisters and some AMAZING business coaches that I have had the privilege of meeting and learning from.
• Pay it forward. Maybe those around you who seem negative just need someone to inspire them. Don’t be afraid to be that person. Your determination to be successful can certainly influence someone else in a positive way if you exude your optimism and drive in all that you do. I LOVE paying it forward. Sharing with my team and potential Rays of HOPE team members. Paying it forward it part of my God-sized dream..

Surrounding yourself with success, can be a challenge. It is an important challenge to take on because your attitude is a key indicator of your success. What are some ways that you surround yourself with success? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

I would LOVE to hear your guesses too as to how many gold coins are in the Thirty One Littles Carry All… Who knows there could be a WINNER!!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!