How to Heal a Hurting Heart

Thank you Gwen Smith for today’s message:

A friend of ours has struggled with heart problems for years. He has gone through seasons of wellness and seasons of strain. Recently, his health challenges moved from the back burner of his life to the front when his doctors recognized the need to operate.

He didn’t just need a simple procedure. He needed open heart surgery to the max. I mean we are talking valve replacements, ablations, hole repairs and more. You name it – and the surgeon pretty much had to do it.

In the wee hours of the morning prior to his surgery, our friend’s heart decided to cause problems that led them to the Emergency Room instead of the Operating Room. Thankfully, his surgeon rushed to the scene and took him right into surgery.

Hours later, his heart was repaired. In the days that followed, scary set backs came and went. Each one was dealt with head on. Thankfully, after 8 days in the hospital, our friend was able to go home yesterday.

I asked his wife how I could pray for him. Was there anything specific?

Her answer surprised me. “Just pray that he will have the will to press on through the healing process because it is going to be a long, hard haul.”

When I hung up from our conversation, I paused and reflected on her request.

In essence, I will be praying for him to have the heart {the strength, the guts, the determination} to fight for his heart to heal fully.

Wow. I know that struggle well.

Week after week, friend after friend, loved one after loved one, struggle after struggle, conversation after conversation… this is one of the biggest challenges we face. Having a heart fixed on healing. To press through to a place of wellness and strength: spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. To not back down from the resistance before us in light of the rewards that await us. To run the race of faith well!

I’ve asked God for forgiveness, but I just don’t know how to forgive myself.

I know the Bible says God loves me, but I feel invisible. I don’t FEEL loved and adored.

I believe that God has a plan for my life, but I’m so tired of waiting for it to develop.

I want restoration in my relationship, but I will not be the one to make the first move.

I’ve lost my love and hate being alone. I no longer have the will to live or dream.

I know my eating patterns are unhealthy and they undermine my wellness, but God loves me just the way I am!

I worry all the time and struggle with anxiety. I really want to trust God, but often fail.

After we go through initial heart repairs with Jesus, many of us find ourselves as wounded believers. Close to whole, but still broken. We want healing but won’t or don’t know how to move forward in the direction of the Healer toward the complete wholeness He has for us.

This is hard stuff. I know. I struggle too. We all do.

Ultimately: every one of us is a work in progress. Our challenges and failures are real and should be acknowledged and confessed. But our faith that God can and will tend to our wounds must be greater.

So I join in prayer as our friend faces months of therapy, doctors appointments, medicine changes, financial strains, emotional exhaustion, and unseen struggles.

And I’m grateful that we pray to the one, true God who loves, sees, hears, purifies, answers, comforts, protects, forgives, provides for, refines, restores, redeems and heals those who cry out to Him. He is the great Surgeon who rushes to us in our emergency rooms and takes us to the operating room of His presence.

The One who knows how to care for every wound, burden and bruise we bear.

So, when your heart needs healing: PRAY.

Pray when loneliness, laziness, or depression takes up residence in your heart. Pray when you are tempted to anesthetize with food, wine, exercise, shopping, or pain pills. Pray when the arms of that man seem more attractive than the purity you are called to in Christ. Pray when your doubts seem stronger than your faith.

Press through barriers in the strength of Jesus. His plan is good. His power is unending. His faithfulness is unwavering. His presence is accessible 24/7.

Move in His direction and give Him the burdens of your heart.

Pray.

Believe.

Trust.

Have a blessed day!

 

What Matters Right Now?

For some reason this year, the holidays have me STUCK!  We have all been there from time to time, right?  I’m an emotional mess.  There is a multitude of reasons (or maybe excuses) I could give but the truth is I am stuck and struggling to reach goals – personally, professionally and financially.

Whether it’s a relationship problem,  a work challenge, a financial habit (good or bad) or a health dilemma……inevitably on the path to our goals, something gets in our way.  It is weird how this has hit me during the holidays.  As I reflect on the past year which was filled with LOTS of challenges and look forward to the new year, I am trying to put things in perspective.

I’m trying to get unstuck AGAIN!  Yup, unfortunately it happens more than once year for me and I’m sure for others too.  My focus gets pulled in a million directions.  My goals start to look unobtainable.  My emotions get jumbled and I am an emotional mess.  I often want to blame it on the MS but the truth is, I used to get like this BEFORE the diagnosis came along.  Time to take responsibility and face the fact I let everything and everyone influence me which causes me to lose my focus.  I play the comparison game despite my best efforts to squash those inner gremlins.  Comparison will not only steal your JOY but it will also have you wondering about “what really matters most?”.

I know, why am I rambling on about this, right?  The truth is there is ONE powerful question which always helps me.  When I find myself overwhelmed, distracted or bombarded with requests or life’s chaos, I stop and ask myself a simple question.  It usually helps me to regain my focus and use your time better:

What really matters right now?

It sounds so simple, right?  It is not as easy as it seems.  This simple, but perspective-shifting question can help you to get unstuck in the most common challenges of everyday life. There are times when the noise in my head is so great, even this one question is difficult to answer. During those times I stop and repeat the Serenity Prayer.   It has saved me more than once over the years when life became unglued.  It helps to focus my thoughts and THEN I can ask the question of “what really matters right now?”.  Staying focused in the present has actually been a blessing to me reaching my goals.

You may need to set a reminder on your phone – once an hour, twice a day or whatever works for you (or however often you need it).   Get into the habit of pausing and choosing what really matters right now. When you do, you’ll find your days more productive, your stress lowered and your time used well.  And in the end, you will find you have reached the goals you have set for yourself – short and long term.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Can You Beat Vacation Veronica?

How long is this sign on your business during the holidays?  For Vacation Veronica stepped into the picture right around Thanksgiving weekend.  She may have come and gone a few times since them but she is sneaking back to see if she can stay till the spring thaw.

Some will take a holimonth instead of a holiday.  I used to take a holimonth from the Christmas cutoff till after the first of the year.  The end result was the need to kick start my business every spring.

As we creep into the final days before Christmas then head into the week till New Years, the holiday season takes on a life of its own.  The time spent in the office is all about paper pushing.  Now, I am not saying this isn’t productive in some ways but can put a damper on the most productive, money making time of year.  Pushing papers and getting things in order are good things I do in between Christmas and New Years as I prep for the upcoming year.  The truth is, we need to keep working on building our business so in January, we are not sitting around trying to figure out WHY we don’t have any business on the books.

Here are some tips from JulieAnne Jones:

• If you are a Leader, plan all your meetings for 2018. As Leaders with Thirty One, they help us stay on track with giving us all of the materials we need.
• Schedule time to connect with your downline to see how you can help them with their goals in 2018.
• Share with your team some fun ideas for theme parties as well as other tips on how to boost their business in the new year.
• Call your September, October, November and December guests – you know the “pink bag calls” we talk about. Check in and make sure they are happy with their product.
• Call your past hostess and check in. Don’t be afraid to ask them about hosting a party.
• Commit to listen to/ or read at least one training program. Don’t just listen or read – IMPLEMENT it!

As for me, I am excited to be kicking of the new year utilizing the Tag Team Party format.  Since 95% of my business has been online, I have been on the hunt for a way to hold fast, fun and easy parties online.  The format will plant booking and recruiting seeds while guests enjoy a 31-minute party online.

I am tweaking my follow-up system.  With our new ship before the party closes, there have been some challenges.  So, I am trying to get a system together.  The money is in the follow-up and I need to remember it on a regular basis. It isn’t just about the emails or social media, it is also about snail mail AND the phone.

Here’s to hoping Vacation Veronica doesn’t linger long at my house or yours. Take a break and enjoy your family and friends during the holiday season but don’t neglect your business. If you had a store front, you wouldn’t close for 2 weeks would you? So why should you close your direct sales business for 2 weeks unless you are fully booked for the next 2 months – even then, I am not sure I would stop working my business.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Conquering Your Challenges

Happy HUMP DAY!  It is a challenge in itself when it comes to getting through the work/school week, right?  Every day we have challenges – large or small – and all day long we ask ourself questions to determine what action we will take to overcome the challenge.

We all want to overcome our challenges.  For some it may be business related for others it may be in their personal life.  There are many with health challenges including loosing weight.  Challenges look different to everyone.

When we are faced with a challenge, the most important thing we can do is to open our mind to wisdom, strength and our powerful mind.  The first step is to be positive, not letting the ANTs creep in.  I don’t mean the little annoying bugs which raid our picnics, I mean “automatic negative thoughts”.  Many times when we are faced with disappointment or frustration, whether we mean to or not, the questions we ask ourselves will lead up down the black hole of negativity.

Think about the last challenge you were faced with or maybe you are facing right now. Did one of these questions enter your mind (or worse yet, come out of your mouth)?

• Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me?
• Why can’t I get a break?
• What the heck is wrong with me?

What if you were to change those “negative questions” to something more productive? I know it isn’t easy, I have been there (more times than I want to count). For some, we have said those negative questions for so long, we can’t imagine any others.

What if you considered asking these productive questions:

• What opportunity does this challenge give me to grow?
• Looking back, what can I do differently the next time to prevent this outcome?
• What part of this is beyond my control so I need to let go of trying to change/fix it?
• How do I want to show up in this situation?

The difference in the questions you ask yourself, will produce different thoughts which will produce different reactions to the challenge.  Your thoughts produce your reactions (how you feel, what you say, and what you do). Remember “The Secret“.. we want to bring more positive into our lives instead of bringing in the negative.

When you approach a challenge with these questions, you are able to build an action plan to move forward.  You drawing in the positive energy of the universe in an effort to move forward.  Believe me, I know how easy it is to let the ANTs creep in.  I know how easy it is to be blinded by the negative unable to see the opportunity.  It takes practice.  It takes time.  Each time you catch yourself with a negative thought, STOP!  Change the mindset and get ready to move forward with “good” thoughts.

When faced with an adversity I challenge you to ask productive (action producing) questions.  What challenge have you faced and learned from?  What challenge are you currently facing and now see a way to change the outcome?

Share your struggles with us.  You are not alone – we have either been through or are currently going through it.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

You Don’t Look Sick?

The last week or so has been a challenge.  We got back from vacation where I had some really good days.  Some aches but nothing major so I was feeling like “I’m okay”.  The false security of being able to go back to the way I used to do things – constantly on the go.

Fast forward a week later.  The aches have turned into not sleeping, exhaustion, tingling in my arms and legs along with the ever changing mood swings.  Now there are more tests scheduled and the 6 month round of MRIs.  Now there is talk of looking for a comprehensive hospital specializing in “difficult cases”.  I just love hearing I am a difficult case.

I was talking with a friend who was truly trying to understand my struggles when I shared  “the spoon theory”.  The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino was used to describe her battle with Lupus to a friend.  It is a great way to explain those silent diseases. You know, the ones where we don’t look sick.

My days go 50/50.  Some are great while there are days when I struggle.  I walk a little slower.   But don’t most people creeping towards 60.  Breathing issues come with weight gain but really I didn’t have this much trouble when I was almost 300 pounds.  Yes I was!  Memory issues – we all have them, right? Senior moments have progressed to not remembering key events in my life.  The unexplained mood swings and actually having to talk yourself into getting up in the morning because you just don’t have the energy to move.

There is frustration when people make comparisons to our struggles seeming like it is no big deal.  Our struggles are real.  Isolated symptoms are manageable but when they are all put together it is a nightmare.  The difference in being sick and being healthy is having to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

So what is the spoon theory?  Start with a handful of spoons (say 12)…

If you are healthy, you have a never-ending supply of “spoons”.  But when a silent disease forces you to plan your day, you need to budget those “spoons” throughout the day. So you start with 12 spoons.  You always have to be conscious of how many you have, and don’t drop them because you can’t forget you have _________ (fill in the blank with your hidden diagnosis).

Now, list all your tasks for the day, including the simplest one – the ones you don’t even realize take any effort to do.  Each task will cost you a spoon. Yes, each and every one of them.

Crack open your eyes and take a mental assessment of your body.  Getting out of bed is an effort because you didn’t sleep well (1 spoon).  Get a shower (1 spoon). Wash your hair (1 spoon). Get dressed (another spoon). You are already down 4 spoons and you haven’t even made it to the kitchen. Two more spoons to make breakfast and clean up.  You are down to 6 spoons and you haven’t gone to work.

Commuting to work (1 spoon).  Sitting too long, one of the toughest things for me (another spoon),  Lunchtime – skipping could cost you a spoon.  Three more gone and half a day of work left. More long hours sitting or a hectic day at the office will cost you another spoon.

Commute home (1 spoon).  We are now down to 1 spoon.  Dinner to prepare, laundry, prep for the next day at work or maybe you were supposed to meet friends for a movie.  You may not be able to do it all.  OR, if you do it all, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

So, what happens when the spoons are gone?  We are done – unable to push any further and it is time to rest or crash.  Regardless of what your silent disease is, we live with the looming thought tomorrow may be a better day BUT it could be worse.

The hardest thing for me is slowing down.  I want to do it all. I want my old life.  I hate missing out on things. I get frustrated,  I need to think about the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one thing.  I miss the freedom of just doing. . I miss never having to count “spoons”.

I share this not for sympathy but so others can understand the challenges of those with a silent disease.  I see this as a blessing just as I saw my addiction as a blessing. I am forced to think about everything I do. I am forced to be in the moment and not waste time or energy.

Do you know someone who is struggling with a silent disease?  Take a moment and give them a hug to let them know you NOW get it.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!