Relax, Reflect, Recharge

When Comparison Kills Confidence


Thank you Sharon Jaynes for today’s message:

If there’s one thing I know it’s this: The measuring stick will get you stuck! Comparison is the devil’s tool that has stopped many of us gals from stepping into our God-given destinies…and it’s time to stop!

You know I’ve been camping out with Moses by the burning bush for over a year while writing Take Hold of the Faith You Long For. When we meet up with him in Exodus chapter 3, he is an insecure, stuttering recluse. He argued with God and told Him that he was not a good speaker.

But, Moses hadn’t always been so insecure. Look what Stephen said to the Sanhedrin: “Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action” (Acts 7:22). He was powerful in speech? That’s what The Book says.

So what happened? Moses failed and bailed and ran away to Midian. Thought he deserved to be there. Got stuck there. He forgot his pre-ordained preparation and his God-given ability.

Oh, I wish I was sitting right there with you and we could just chat and throw around ideas. For now, I’ll just ask you this question and maybe one day we’ll sit and have a long talk.

How do you think that Moses came up with the idea that he was not a good speaker? Here’s what I think. I think that Moses came up with the idea by comparing himself to other people he thought were good speakers.

It’s the same way with you and me. Comparison opens the door for sabotaging lies to steal our confidence, stymie our courage, and stand in the way of our contentment. Comparison puts up roadblocks along the path to fulfilling our God-given calling by setting an undefined standard of approval and acceptance.

We fear the REJECT stamp will come crashing down with wet ink that mars all of life. We fear that we are perhaps fatally flawed as confidence seeps through the holes of insecurity punctured and punctuated by comparison.

We compare our abilities to someone else’s and come to this conclusion: I could never do it like she does it. And you know what? You were never meant to! God doesn’t need two people just alike. He has uniquely and precisely created you with specific gifts and talents to do exactly what He has called you to do. So get good at being you!

David wrote: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Ps. 139:13-14 emphasis added).

He knew what full well? In these particular verses, David wasn’t praising God for the way He flung the stars in the night sky, set the spinning earth on its axis, or stocked the oceans with sea creatures of every kind. David was marveling at the magnificent masterpiece called David. Me. You. He knew that full well.

You are God’s workmanship. His masterpiece—His grand finale of all creation. Do you know that full well? You are amazing!

Paul wrote to the Galatians, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (Gal. 6:4–5, MSG).

Listen; if God didn’t put it in you, then you don’t need it to do what He has called you to do.

If God didn’t make you eloquent, then you don’t need to be eloquent to do what He’s prepared for you to do.

If God didn’t make you a good speller, then you don’t need to be a good speller to do what He’s prepared for you to do.

If God didn’t place you in a home where you were the apple of your daddy’s eye, then you don’t need to be the apple of your daddy’s eye to be all God wants you to be and do all He has planned for you to do.

One pastor said: “One of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity is that we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reel.” I promise to show you the film on the cutting room floor. See, I cut them out, but God picked them back up, brushed them off, and inserted them back into the reel. “These are some of my favorites,” He explained. “The scenes you would rather no one see are the very ones that will help women see Me.”

God knows your inadequacies and your insecurities. He knows what caused them and who caused them. He saw you before you even had them. Yet He chose you before you were born for a purpose—to fulfill a plan in a predetermined point in time (Acts 17:26).

So let’s let go of comparison and take hold of our God-given uniqueness!

You’re amazing!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Do You Want to Get Well

I woke up this morning feeling like it was going to be a good day…SMACK!

cassette tapes

I open an email and I am hit with feelings of inferiority, insecurity and inadequacy.  The old tapes fighting to start as I close the email and move to my devotions trying to recapture the positive feelings that I woke up with.  The angel and the devil gearing up for a battle to see who will control my day.

I broke my routine – the one that starts my day with my devotions BEFORE I read anything else.  The one that wraps me in God’s loving arms so that I can fight the negative thoughts that run around in my head.   The routine that helps me to hit the reset button.

As I open my morning devotion, I am reminded that “Satan wants to use our past to paralyze us. God wants to use our past to propel us! The choice is ours.”  Then I hear Jesus ask me, “Do you want to get well?”.  No, he didn’t appear in front of me.  He just tugged at my heart to remind me that with him all things are possible.

 “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8).

I don’t have a mat but I do have a suitcase full of old tapes that Satan tries to replay on a regular basis.  Yes, I want to get well.  I want this “adjustment disorder combined with depression” to go away.  I want to wave a magic wand but there isn’t one.  I want to be completely healthy: physically, spiritually and mentally.  I want to smile all of the time.  Yes, I want to get well but at the same time I am scared.  Change is scary but if change means getting better, am I willing to risk the scary to get better?  So, I am taking a deep breath and asking God for his guidance and his help.

I am praying that he will help me to make the changes that I need to make in my life.  I pray that he will give me the courage to “pick up my mat and walk.”  Girlfriend, let’s pick up our mat and walk…better, let’s run, leap, and dance for joy!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

#adjustmentdisorder, #depression, #John5:8, #angelvsdevil

 

Hope Wissel

Angel vs Devil

Angel-vs-Devil

This has been a busy week filled with deep discussions about my deepest struggles personally and in my business.  Sometimes I was really shocked at the AHAs that came out of my mouth (hubby is too).  It is then that I know that God has a plan for me and that despite my best efforts (non-intentional) to go off course, he is going to make sure things happen and I reach my goal.  In an effort to push the devil even further away, I wanted to share one with you.  I am ready  to EMBRACE all of the blessings that are in store for me and JUST FOR TODAY I feel like I am worthy of them.

My biggest morning struggle is to be a Positive Polly or Confident Cathy and not Negative Nellie.  For some this is just an easy decision to make while others of us struggle.  Deep down (I mean really deep), I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and a lack of confidence.  This steams from years of suppressed feelings that many would say can only be helped with LONG therapy sessions.  After doing the NA meeting route daily for 2 years and then about 1 year in counseling, I am not eager to go back.  You would think with all of that, I would be cured, right?

Now, I am not saying that I want to be perky 24/7;  what I do mean is that it takes work for me to remain an optimist in light of my automatic tendency to head down the road of negativity and inadequacy.  Can I tell you what a relief it was to share this with hubby (and now with you)?  I know, crazy, right?  The inside me is not always the same thing that people see on the outside.  I wish I could always play the role that people see.  I know that if I keep visualizing that, it will happen.

I have found a simple solution (I think) that is helping with this struggle. It is a tip that I learned from Dana Wilde  but never put into practice.  Okay, so maybe I tried it for a week and it didn’t seem to work so I gave up.  When Dana shared this tip, it was all about growing your business.  Yes, I want to grow my business but I need to grow personally FIRST and then the rest will fall into place.  Before going to bed, she said to list the positives of the day (this may be really simplified) and go to sleep repeating positive mantras in your head.  Simple, right?

Can I tell you what a difference it has made in just a few days?  I have gone to sleep shutting out the craziness of the day, pushing aside all of the negative words that seem to pop into my head when I am tired and just focusing on being thankful and positive.  Some nights it is a struggle – I could almost picture the angel and devil fighting.  What a great visual!  An angel (positives) on one side and the devil (negatives) on another fighting for control of my thoughts.

I work hard to ensure that the angel wins! The result is that I have woken up with a little more energy, ready to conquer the world.  I have begun to focus on the important tasks of the day instead of letting myself get side tracked – or lounging in the grass.  I even found that I didn’t mind the unplanned changes in the day.

What is your biggest personal challenge?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!