Time for a Spiritual Checkup

Thank you Mary Southerland for today’s message…

I have struggled with weight issues since I was a little girl. Part of my struggle is rooted in “fluffy” genes lovingly passed down to me through several generations of “fluffy” relatives. The remainder of my struggle is firmly rooted in the fact that I hate exercise, take medications that cause weight gain, enjoy eating, and sometimes use food as an emotional outlet and reward.

I was a young adult and living on my own before I realized that part of the creation process included green things called vegetables. The motto in our family was, “If it ain’t fried, it ain’t right.” Gravy was a condiment and potatoes a staple at every meal. No bread? How can you have a meal without bread? And dessert was a necessity. Get the picture?

Over the years, I have tried just about every diet I could find. I could always lose weight. I just could not keep it off. The day came when I threw in the towel.

My name is Mary, and I am a Carboholic.

I was done. I was burned out on diets and quick fixes. I didn’t want to be a certain size. I just wanted to feel good and to be as healthy as I could possibly be at this point in my life.

I went to a highly-recommended Christian nutritionist who asked me to complete a packet of 500 questions (not kidding), did an EKG, ran more blood tests than I have ever had run in my life, and introduced me to the coolest machine that measures fat and muscle in the body. After all the tests were in, Dr. Tague smiled at me and calmly said, “Mary, you are a malnourished woman.”

My mouth literally fell open in shock. At the time, I was at least 50 pounds overweight and ate pretty much everything in sight whenever I felt the slightest twinge of hunger. How could I possibly be malnourished?

The doctor went on to explain that I was indeed eating … but I was eating all the wrong things … at all the wrong times. In fact, I was dangerously low in several key vitamins and minerals. He handed me a small paper cup filled with a mixture of those vitamins and minerals to take before leaving his office and said, “If you were my patient in the hospital, I would not release you until some of these levels came up.” Now he had my undivided attention.

God often works the same way.

I spend more time working on ministry checklists than I spend in God’s Word.

Prayer is more often a drive-through event than the sit-down-at-His-feet experience it should be.

I give God the leftovers of my day when I should purposefully plan my time with Him.

Rather than investing time in relationships, I follow friends on Facebook or text them to ease my guilt.

I choose what is easiest and more convenient in ministry instead of choosing the best part of ministry, which is often messy and inconvenient.

I often allow the hedges of protection to go untended, resulting in a lack of boundaries and margins in my life.

I allow myself to become a malnourished Christian.

God then lovingly but unquestionably gets my attention in several ways – a crisis that knocks every prop but Him out from under me, or an illness that rips every choice out of my hands and really makes me stop. I can then get the spiritual nourishment that really feeds my soul. Nourishment like sustaining time in the Word of God … significant, life-giving time in prayer … nurturing time with encouraging friends … opportunities to give myself away in service.

After following the carefully laid out plan of my nutritionist for two years, I have lost 65 pounds, but that is not the best or most important news. I feel better than I have felt in many years! My blood work, EKGs, and BMI (body mass index) are all perfect. And the doctor has now pronounced me a well-nourished woman.

I want to be a well-nourished Christian. I am taking the next year to get my spiritual ducks in a row. I am seeking God on what I should and should not do. I am setting boundaries and asking my husband and accountability group to hold my feet to the fire in keeping those boundaries firmly in place. I am practicing saying “no.” I am bringing order to any areas of chaos. I am resting beside the still waters. And I know He will restore my soul just as He has restored my body in so many ways.

How about you? Are you a malnourished Christian? Today is the day to take a step toward spiritual health!

Have a blessed day!

How to Heal a Hurting Heart

Thank you Gwen Smith for today’s message:

A friend of ours has struggled with heart problems for years. He has gone through seasons of wellness and seasons of strain. Recently, his health challenges moved from the back burner of his life to the front when his doctors recognized the need to operate.

He didn’t just need a simple procedure. He needed open heart surgery to the max. I mean we are talking valve replacements, ablations, hole repairs and more. You name it – and the surgeon pretty much had to do it.

In the wee hours of the morning prior to his surgery, our friend’s heart decided to cause problems that led them to the Emergency Room instead of the Operating Room. Thankfully, his surgeon rushed to the scene and took him right into surgery.

Hours later, his heart was repaired. In the days that followed, scary set backs came and went. Each one was dealt with head on. Thankfully, after 8 days in the hospital, our friend was able to go home yesterday.

I asked his wife how I could pray for him. Was there anything specific?

Her answer surprised me. “Just pray that he will have the will to press on through the healing process because it is going to be a long, hard haul.”

When I hung up from our conversation, I paused and reflected on her request.

In essence, I will be praying for him to have the heart {the strength, the guts, the determination} to fight for his heart to heal fully.

Wow. I know that struggle well.

Week after week, friend after friend, loved one after loved one, struggle after struggle, conversation after conversation… this is one of the biggest challenges we face. Having a heart fixed on healing. To press through to a place of wellness and strength: spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. To not back down from the resistance before us in light of the rewards that await us. To run the race of faith well!

I’ve asked God for forgiveness, but I just don’t know how to forgive myself.

I know the Bible says God loves me, but I feel invisible. I don’t FEEL loved and adored.

I believe that God has a plan for my life, but I’m so tired of waiting for it to develop.

I want restoration in my relationship, but I will not be the one to make the first move.

I’ve lost my love and hate being alone. I no longer have the will to live or dream.

I know my eating patterns are unhealthy and they undermine my wellness, but God loves me just the way I am!

I worry all the time and struggle with anxiety. I really want to trust God, but often fail.

After we go through initial heart repairs with Jesus, many of us find ourselves as wounded believers. Close to whole, but still broken. We want healing but won’t or don’t know how to move forward in the direction of the Healer toward the complete wholeness He has for us.

This is hard stuff. I know. I struggle too. We all do.

Ultimately: every one of us is a work in progress. Our challenges and failures are real and should be acknowledged and confessed. But our faith that God can and will tend to our wounds must be greater.

So I join in prayer as our friend faces months of therapy, doctors appointments, medicine changes, financial strains, emotional exhaustion, and unseen struggles.

And I’m grateful that we pray to the one, true God who loves, sees, hears, purifies, answers, comforts, protects, forgives, provides for, refines, restores, redeems and heals those who cry out to Him. He is the great Surgeon who rushes to us in our emergency rooms and takes us to the operating room of His presence.

The One who knows how to care for every wound, burden and bruise we bear.

So, when your heart needs healing: PRAY.

Pray when loneliness, laziness, or depression takes up residence in your heart. Pray when you are tempted to anesthetize with food, wine, exercise, shopping, or pain pills. Pray when the arms of that man seem more attractive than the purity you are called to in Christ. Pray when your doubts seem stronger than your faith.

Press through barriers in the strength of Jesus. His plan is good. His power is unending. His faithfulness is unwavering. His presence is accessible 24/7.

Move in His direction and give Him the burdens of your heart.

Pray.

Believe.

Trust.

Have a blessed day!

 

Do You Have a Bold Decision To Make?

I’m not good at making decisions!  For those who know me, it is no big surprise.  Ask me where I want to go for dinner?  I will leave it up to you, because “I can always find something which sounds good”.  Ask me what I want to do?  I will usually defer to the person asking unless there is something really pressing on my heart.  So, why is it so hard? I’m a proverbial people pleaser – one of my character defects.  I don’t want anyone to be made at me or upset or get their feelings hurt.  The end result over the years has caused me to stuff feelings and was definitely part of my relapse story.

What about you?  Are you good at making decisions?  I don’t mean just the little every day things but the BIG ones.  The life changing ones – maybe it is time to retire, or change your career or quit your job or end a relationship or admit and accept you have a problem (or a chronic disease).

Do you make your decisions base on everyone else’s expectations?  Some decisions are tough – really tough!  Some conversations are uncomfortable.  Some choices are not popular.  A true sign of spiritual and emotional growth comes when you can stop making decisions based on everyone else’s expectations.  The greatest feeling is when you can lay your head down at night and be at pease with your Higher Power.  If you compromise the peace you have with him, then you have compromised EVERYTHING!

For many years, I was spiritual, avoiding church but having a great relationship with my Higher Poser then I got involved with the church again.  No hate mail please!  I’m not against organized religion but I will admit it is then I started  to make decisions based on others expectations (again).  Over the last 9 months, I have started to have a stronger relationship with my Higher Power again.

I’m learning to be bold and courageous in my decisions.  Pray.  Listen (this is tough for me).  Don’t overanalyze! (okay so I struggle with this too).  There are days I pray for an answer and when the answer comes via a person or event or opportunity, I don’t always recognize it.  I want the SMACK on the head or the booming voice to say “here is the answer”.  LOL.

Use your common sense, which is a blessing from God to help you make the right decision. Have you ever heard the saying: “Don’t be  like the frog in a pot of cool water who didn’t notice the heat had been turned up and the water was starting to boil. All he had to do was jump out of the pot!”.  Yup.  I’ve been there a few times.

All of this is to say, if you have a decision to make…. make it based on YOUR common sense, your wishes and NOT what others will think.  This is where I am at right now!  Decisions about my business and this blog.  My fear of letting others down has me struggling with accepting decisions I know in my heart are okay.  Fear of what the future will bring has me hesitating.  Fear of stepping into a new path where God seems to be leading me.

 

Do you have a decisions to make?  Don’t worry about what others think. Do what you know is right. No one else has to live your life—or your consequences.

I challenge you to “Rather than people-pleasing, be bold and courageous in your decisions.”  Can you do it?  If you need support, comment below and we will help!

 

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

What Matters Right Now?

For some reason this year, the holidays have me STUCK!  We have all been there from time to time, right?  I’m an emotional mess.  There is a multitude of reasons (or maybe excuses) I could give but the truth is I am stuck and struggling to reach goals – personally, professionally and financially.

Whether it’s a relationship problem,  a work challenge, a financial habit (good or bad) or a health dilemma……inevitably on the path to our goals, something gets in our way.  It is weird how this has hit me during the holidays.  As I reflect on the past year which was filled with LOTS of challenges and look forward to the new year, I am trying to put things in perspective.

I’m trying to get unstuck AGAIN!  Yup, unfortunately it happens more than once year for me and I’m sure for others too.  My focus gets pulled in a million directions.  My goals start to look unobtainable.  My emotions get jumbled and I am an emotional mess.  I often want to blame it on the MS but the truth is, I used to get like this BEFORE the diagnosis came along.  Time to take responsibility and face the fact I let everything and everyone influence me which causes me to lose my focus.  I play the comparison game despite my best efforts to squash those inner gremlins.  Comparison will not only steal your JOY but it will also have you wondering about “what really matters most?”.

I know, why am I rambling on about this, right?  The truth is there is ONE powerful question which always helps me.  When I find myself overwhelmed, distracted or bombarded with requests or life’s chaos, I stop and ask myself a simple question.  It usually helps me to regain my focus and use your time better:

What really matters right now?

It sounds so simple, right?  It is not as easy as it seems.  This simple, but perspective-shifting question can help you to get unstuck in the most common challenges of everyday life. There are times when the noise in my head is so great, even this one question is difficult to answer. During those times I stop and repeat the Serenity Prayer.   It has saved me more than once over the years when life became unglued.  It helps to focus my thoughts and THEN I can ask the question of “what really matters right now?”.  Staying focused in the present has actually been a blessing to me reaching my goals.

You may need to set a reminder on your phone – once an hour, twice a day or whatever works for you (or however often you need it).   Get into the habit of pausing and choosing what really matters right now. When you do, you’ll find your days more productive, your stress lowered and your time used well.  And in the end, you will find you have reached the goals you have set for yourself – short and long term.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

De-Stress Your Mind and Body

“Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, and then we can give from our surplus, our abundance.”           Jennifer Louden

Happy Friday!  This isn’t just any Friday.  It is the Friday of a holiday weekend.  For many, it will be the kickoff to 3 days of family, fun and sun.  For some, they will use this time to relax and recharge while others will think of the million things that need to get done.

Yup, I am the one who pushes myself.  For years, I didn’t seem to have an off switch.  I mean to be successful you need to work hard, right?  I am learning that self-care is important for me to reach my BIG goals.  Sometimes I think the latest round of health challenges was the wake up call that I needed so I had no choice but to nurture and heal myself.

It can be tough finding time to practice self-care, we all need to nurture ourselves—emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally.  Here are some tips that you can start to practice this weekend…

1. Take ownership.

Take personal responsibility for your wellness. We need to form and maintain healthy habits that enable us to thrive. No one else can do this for us.

2. Commit.

It wasn’t until the brain fog, the chronic tiredness along with the aches and pains set in was I willing to make a commitment.  It was when I was unable to do the things that I loved that realized the many things that I took for granted.  Identify the self-care practices that help you function at your best—meditation, short walks, getting out in nature; anything that helps you recharge physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Then schedule these activities into your day.  Start with just 10-minutes a day so it isn’t so overwhelming.

3. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the foundation of self-care, because we’re only able to identify our needs when we’re present in our bodies. Mindfulness also nourishes our spirit by rooting us in the present moment. By practicing mindfulness, we become engaged with our surroundings.  Meditation is a great way to get a sense of calm, peace, and balance.

4. Take breaks for deep breathing.

I always thought this was crazy BUT taking regular mini breathing breaks throughout my day helps me to connect my mind, body, and spirit. Believe it or not, a few deep breaths during the day also energizes me.

When you breathe in, feel the gratitude for your life.  When you breathe out, et go of all the unnecessary demands that you place on yourself.

5. Nourish your spirit.

This could be getting outside and enjoying nature—a leisurely walk at sunrise or sunset, a swim in the ocean, or even just stepping outside into the fresh air and stopping to acknowledge how truly miraculous the world is. It is the simplest of acts that will fill your spirit with light.

6. Beware the “busy life.”

We are all BUSY.  Some believe it is a sign of success. How successful are you when you are stressed, exhausted, physically and mentally depleted, and missing out on opportunities for joy in your daily life?  I am trying to set boundaries so I am not using being too busy as an excuse for living a beautiful life.

7. Keep it simple.

It is only when we slow down that we’re able to recognize all the chaos that can fill our world. Keeping life simple is now a priority.  Where can you simplify or scale back? Where are you creating unnecessary stress or drama in your life?  When I keep it simple, I am open to accepting more love, laughter, joy, and happiness into my world.

8. Recognize and eliminate energy drains.

Who and what drains your energy?   What habits, activities, or relationships aren’t healthy for you? What, if eliminated, would provide a huge sense of relief?  When you are exhausted, and your energy is depleted, you need to learn to manage and replenish your energy—mind, body, and spirit—so that you can recover quickly.

You are worthy of self-love and self-care every day. We all are. For every positive choice we make, we support our mind, body, and spirit. Self-care fuels us with the strength and energy we need to achieve all of our dreams.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!