Thankful Thursday: Be Yourself

Life in recovery with MS has been a struggle.  I have learned some hard lessons.  Through it all, the theme of “be yourself” keeps coming up.  I know I’m not alone when it comes to struggling with saying what you mean, doing what you love, or relaxing around certain people, right?  I usually blame it on the MS and brain fog but the truth is some days I am not feeling confident and comfortable with being me.  I have been digging  a little deeper lately through working the steps in NA and starting to accept me for me!   The steps help me  to uncover another layer of authenticity, and free myself to be unapologetically me..

Not being you is exhausting!   Did you ever consider the amount of energy it takes to keep up appearances, attempting to be perfect (like it will happen), pleasing other people (is it possible?), and trying to make yourself fit into situations which simply aren’t you? When we say “be yourself”, some of us even wonder what it means.  I honestly am not sure I even knew myself for many years.  I had a glimpse of me during my first go around at recovery and then it got lost in all of the “stuff” I got back as a result of my recovery.

Here are three practical strategies to help you maximize your best you:

1. Say what you need to say.

Do you beat around the bush figuring people will know what you mean when you say something?  Are you too afraid to speak up afraid of what others will think? Have you found yourself telling a little lie to avoid the embarrassment of telling the truth?  These are clear signs you are not being true to yourself.  This hit me like a brick – SMACK!  Try this simple exercise:  Identify one situation when you have not said what you need to say.   You know, you beat around the bush in the hopes someone understood.  Got the situation?  I want to you go to the person and just say it flat out.  If you can’t do it right now, mark it on your calendar to do it.  There was a time when I had no filters.  I said what I needed to say and didn’t worry about what people thought.  Early in my first recovery, I was eager to say what I was thinking and I didn’t worry about what people thought.  Over the years, things started changing.  Those old habits came back and I started the “people pleasing game again”.  We are as sick as our secrets, no matter how small those secrets are.  Authenticity means being forthright. Don’t waste your precious energy pretending all is well when it isn’t.  Take the word “FINE” out of your vocabulary.  Don’t let FEAR keep you in hiding!

2. Do what you know is right.

There is nothing more authentic than living your values. When your actions don’t line up with your beliefs, inner turmoil is sure to follow.  Do you actually know what your core values are? 

3. Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Okay, this is a tough one for me!  The truth is when we are uncomfortable in our own skin, it is usually because we haven’t given ourselves permission to be human.  In other words, we haven’t given ourselves permission to be imperfect.  We always want things to be perfect.  The perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect family, the perfect house… it is all part of the “I will be happy when” syndrome.  When you relax, you enjoy yourself more. It is time we value the journey as much, if not more than, the destination.  There will be bumps along the road – embrace them.  Climb over them and keep moving forward, they don’t have to keep you from reaching your purpose (or your goals).

What situations cause you to not be yourself?  What are you afraid will happen if you show people the real you?

Today, I will accept my weight where it is knowing I am eating healthier and NOT gaining weight.  I will accept my limitations because of my MS and will not longer hid what I can’t do.  I will accept my business is my business and will not play the comparison game.

I am stomping out the inner gremlins and being true to me…. what about you?

Have a blessed day!

Is it time for a break?

The summer is half over and what have you done?  Have you been a Vacation Veronica?  Have you enjoyed family and friends but dread what will happen when you open your calendar for the fall?  OR have you been crazy busy and are in desperate need of a break?

Maybe the question should be, whether or not you’ll take time for a break.  Today, we are living life at a faster pace.  Everyone is offering us ways to save time with more tech gadgets.   Instead of freeing up our time, they  have us trying to figure our how much more we can accomplish with the time saved. I sometimes feel like I’m on a treadmill which keeps increasing speed.   Moving faster but not always sure how much I am actually getting done.  Are you wondering if you need a break?  Here are a few signs it’s time to take a break.

1. You are busy but not productive.

You know what I mean, right?.  You’re doing stuff, just not the most important stuff. You’re shifting papers but definitely not moving forward.  If this is you, take a break. Refocus. Restart.

2. You are irritable, even when nothing particularly stressful is happening.

Do you have a sour attitude?  What I mean is, do you feel frustrated, or unsatisfied in you job? Chances are there’s something hiding beneath the surface. Usually anger— even the quiet, passive-aggressive type – is a sign boundaries have been crossed. Are you stuffing your feelings?  Resentment emerges when we don’t speak up, ask for help, or make a necessary change.  This is probably one of my biggest character defects.

3. You just accomplished a big goal.

Did you know our energy is depleted after we accomplish a big goal?  I always thought it was the opposite.  Studies show, we are more effective and able to work towards future goals when we give our minds and bodies a chance to recover.  This allows our energy to be replenished for the next big goal. When you finish a major project – Celebrate. Relax. Rejuvenate. Then move on.

4. Your body hurts.

Your body will give you warning signs. I don’t mean the aches from old age (yup, my big complaint). I mean things like chronic back or neck pain, headaches, and fatigue.  Don’t ignore them.  These are usually the ways your body is trying to tell you something. Listen. If you don’t, there could be long-term consequences ahead.

5. You’re dreaming about work.

This was me when I was working…. I was forever dreaming of projects, and deadlines.  Now working for myself I am able to walk away from things (sometimes).  No matter what, it’s a definite sign some downtime is LONG overdue.

6. You haven’t had a break in a while.

Are you thinking, none of those apply to me?  Guess what?  Even if they don’t and you haven’t had time off in awhile, it is time to take a break!  It could simply be ten minutes every couple of hours, a day of downtime every week (unplug), and a vacation or personal days for fun time every few months will make you far more productive—and far happier—than working nonstop.

Give yourself a break!  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Who Are You Really?

 Over the last two months I have been learning some hard lessons.  Through it all, the theme of “be yourself” keeps coming up.  I know I’m not alone when it comes to struggling with saying what you mean, doing what you love, or relaxing around certain people, right?  I usually blame it on the MS and brain fog but the truth is some days I am not feeling confident and comfortable with being me.  I have been digging  a little deeper lately.  I have even gone back to working my steps from NA.  A chance to uncover another layer of authenticity, and free myself to be unapologetically me..

Not being you is exhausting!   Did you ever consider the amount of energy it takes to keep up appearances, attempting to be perfect (like it will happen), pleasing other people (is it possible?), and trying to make yourself fit into situations which simply aren’t you? When we say “be yourself”, some of us even wonder what it means.

Here are three practical strategies to help you maximize your best you:

1. Say what you need to say.

Do you beat around the bush figuring people will know what you mean when you say something?  Are you too afraid to speak up afraid of what others with think? Have you found yourself telling a little lie to avoid the embarrassment of telling the truth?  These are clear signs you are not being true to yourself.  This hit me like a brick – SMACK!  Try this simple exercise:  Identify one situation when you have not said what you need to say.   You know, you beat around the bush in the hopes someone understood.  Got the situation?  I want to you go to the person and just say it flat out.  If you can’t do it right now, mark it on your calendar to do it.  There was a time when I had no filters.  I said what I needed to say and didn’t worry about what people thought.  Early in my recovery, I was eager to say what I was thinking and I didn’t worry about what people thought.  Over the years, things started changing.  Those old habits came back and I started the “people pleasing game again”.  We are as sick as our lies, no matter how small those lies are.  Authenticity means being forthright. Don’t waste your precious energy pretending all is well when it isn’t.  Take the word “FINE” out of your vocabulary.  Don’t let FEAR keep you in hiding!

2. Do what you know is right.

There is nothing more authentic than living your values. When your actions don’t line up with your beliefs, inner turmoil is sure to follow.  Do you actually know what your core values are? 

3. Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Okay, this is a tough one for me!  The truth is when we are uncomfortable in our own skin, it is usually because we haven’t given ourselves permission to be human.  In other words, we haven’t given ourselves permission to be imperfect.  We always want things to be perfect.  The perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect family, the perfect house… it is all part of the “I will be happy when” syndrome.  When you relax, you enjoy yourself more. It is time we value the journey as much, if not more than, the destination.  There will be bumps along the road – embrace them.  Climb over them and keep moving forward, they don’t have to keep you from reaching your purpose (or your goals).

What situations cause you to not be yourself?  What are you afraid will happen if you show people the real you?

I am stomping out the inner gremlins and being true to me…. what about you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Friday Finances: The Energy of Money

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Today’s post is courtesy of Soul Purpose Expert and 3-time Best Selling Author, Jennifer Longmore! Here is her “101″ on how to tune into wealth with 4 basics about the energy of money:

Let’s go back to basics here – what do we mean when we talk about the energy of money?

To start, the actual word ‘currency’ comes from the Latin word currens, which means “condition of flowing.” So think about a rushing river – the way the water flows, clean and clear. If this river became blocked, the water would stagnate and be unable to go neither here nor there.

This same way of thinking can be applied to money. You do not want your money to stagnate.

Of course I’m not suggesting you should spend everything you have and be completely irresponsible! While many of us have struggled with financial issues, we should think of money as a gift – a tool to be utilized to help us live our best lives possible. If we misuse this tool we can end up in trouble, which these days with credit cards and loans it’s much to easy to do by spending money we don’t have.

To help better understand the energy of money (especially your own!) consider the following points.

1. Money is energy.

Most often, money is exchanged because of a need. You may desire an aesthetically pleasing yard, yet not have the time or the ability to create it yourself. Thus, you hire a landscaping company to do so for you. In exchange for the output of energy the workers provide, you give them money.

2. Energy needs to flow.

This might sound like an open-invitation for reckless spending. It is not. In order for your life to be in the best financial health possible, the flow of your money needs to be balanced. You cannot have more going out than you have coming in. You will quickly find yourself out of balance.

3. Energy is infinite.

There is enough money to go around. This might be difficult to believe at first, especially if you are struggling. Too many people believe there is not enough, and this collective belief is preventing money’s energetic flow to be equally accessible to everyone.

4. The Ripple Effect.

While it is easy to fall into the trap of spending too freely, it is also possible for the reverse to happen. Saving money and planning for your future are certainly integral steps to having a healthy financial life, but remember, money needs to flow both directions. Responsibly spending your money will have a ripple effect that will be beneficial not just for you, but for others as well.

If you take these points to heart and believe them on a soul level, it’s the first step to opening yourself up to unlimited abundance and wealth. Watch for the miracles that are about to begin!

So, what do you think?  I have talked to many who are struggling to pay off debt or to make ends meet.  Living paycheck to paycheck, We budget to the penny and with it, we may be strangling the energy flow.  I am ready to look at money in a different way, what about you?

 

About the Author:

Jennifer Longmore, Forensic Investigator turned North America’s Soul Purpose Expert, is the internationally acclaimed host of “Soul Purpose Central,” 3-time best selling author, and founder of the Soul Journeys {Registered Trademark} School For Akashic Studies and creator of the popular Spiritual Leadership and Legacy Program.

For over 15 years she has been helping people remember who they really are through over 30,000 soul purpose sessions, including the whos-who of actors, professional athletes, CEO’s of leading companies, and other influential luminaries.

How to Get More A.F.T.E.R.

WOOHOO WEDNESDAY!  I am playing catch up after working my part-time job on a full-time basis last week.  I must really be getting OLD because I am exhausted.  Not only was I working, I had a busy week in my direct sales business – closing parties, coaching hostesses and working with new team members.

I had an BIG event on Saturday so I am working on follow-up.  We all know it is the key to success, right?  Truth be told, in the past, I was not very good at it. So I am working this week on changing my mindset so I can change my business.  I mean it worked for changing my mindset about recruiting and gained 5 new recruits in 3 months.  So, why not put it to the test for booking and sales?

This is an article I found on DSWA and the thinking process started.  I know scary but sometimes it triggers some really exciting stuff.  At a home party 100% of the people buy something – a sale is a sale no matter how small which is good. I seem to struggle on Facebook/online parties and after vendor events.

The article highlighted the word AFTER as an acronym on how to get more sales..So let me know what you think:

A stands for Attitude.  Your attitude (positive or negative) will determine the results after the event.  Are you positive?  Do you think it is normal for people to place orders AFTER an event or a direct sales party? Or, do you think it is pushy to contact people AFTER the event/party about more sales?  Your attitude will determine the outcome.  Change your mindset, change your attitude.  I have been blessed with repeat business after home parties.  I tend to struggle during vendor events because my attitude is all about leads and NOT sales.  Does your phone weigh 500 pounds, so you can’t lift it?  The Fortune is in the Follow-up.

 F stands for Fun.  The most important part of any home party, right?  Are your parties fun? Would you want to attend or book a party from YOU?  You need to have fun so your guests can have fun.  Even at vendor events, I have fun!   I am learning it is not about perfection, it is about progress.  Thank you Deb Bixler. Who wants to party or be part of a team not having fun, right?

T stands for Tell.  Talk to your hostess and make sure that she knows how to collect orders – if she doesn’t she won’t do it.  I offer an incentive to my hostess for gathering $200 in pre-orders BEFORE the party, this has helped to increase my party averages.  At a vendor event, I tell EVERYONE who will listen how easy it is to host a party with me.  Simply 6 orders of $35 equals a party.  I mean you must know 6 people who are looking for a gift or like to shop.  Telling doesn’t mean DEMAND, it means talk, explain, have a conversation and LISTEN to what they are saying to you.

E stands for Energy or Excitement.  Without this, you don’t have a business – it is the make or break it of direct sales. Translate your excitement to your hostess, your customers and get things rolling.  I get told I am “too perky” – I used to tone things down but not any more.  People want to be a part of my energy.

R stands for Remind, Remind, Remind.  In today’s crazy, fast-paced world, we need reminders – you use post it notes to stop to the store, the grocery list, the to do checklist, and a hundred other things, right?  I’m not alone in this, although, I usually blame my need for reminders on the MS or health struggles. Why would you think your hostess, her guests or those who stop by your table at vendor events wouldn’t need a reminder?  Every time you talk with someone after the initial encounter, talk to them about specifics – an upcoming sale, a product they were interested in or even wanting to book a party.

Things happen AFTER an event or party because YOU have a plan.  What are some of your tips for success AFTER a party or vendor event?  Share your best ideas.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day! #hope