Gossip is Deadly

Thank you Sharon Jaynes for today’s message….

A monster was sneaking into my yard in the dark of night and devouring my prize plants. I never saw his beady eyes or heard his pounding footsteps—just the aftermath of his destruction. He left a trail of slime as he moved from plant to plant, leaving large gaping holes in broadleaf Gerbera daisies, gnawing entire velvety trumpet-shaped blossoms on purple petunias and reducing bushy begonias to naked stalks.

I asked a neighbor about my flowerbed’s demise and she determined, “You’ve got slugs.”

Slugs!” I exclaimed. “The yard monster is a tiny little slug?”

“You can put out slug bait to catch them and see for yourself,” my confident neighbor continued.

I sprinkled slug bait all around the yard and then waited. The next morning I viewed the “monsters” remains. The beasts were about ¼ inch long—about the size of my little toe nail.

How could something so small cause so much damage in such a short amount of time? I mused. Then my mind thought of something else that is very small that can cause enormous damage in a short amount of time…gossip. King Solomon wrote, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” Just as one tiny slug can destroy an entire flowerbed, so can one tiny morsel of gossip destroy a person’s reputation, mar one’s character, and devour a friendship.

In the South we have this knack for making gossips sound…almost nice. All you have to do is add “bless her heart” to the end of the sentence. It goes like this: “Susie gained fifty pounds with that last pregnancy, bless her heart.” “Marcy’s husband ran off with his secretary, bless her heart.” “I heard Clair yelling at the postman yesterday, bless her heart.” But all the “bless her hearts” don’t mask what it really is…gossip.

Solomon wrote, “Whoever repeats the matter separates close friends,” (Proverbs 17:9 NIV). Charles Allen, the author of God’ Psychiatry observed: “Those of great minds discuss ideas, people of mediocre minds discuss events, and those of small minds discuss other people.” Maybe if we are spending our time talking about people, we need to fill our minds with better material such as good books and other reading material (and I don’t mean People Magazine or the National Enquirer).

What exactly is gossip? Webster defines gossip as ”easy, fluent, trivial talk, talk about people behind their backs.” It is repeating information about another person’s private affairs. If you have to look around to make sure that no one can hear what you are saying, you are probably gossiping. If you would not say something in front of the person you are talking about, then you’re probably gossiping.

We have often heard the phrase, “knowledge is power.” Perhaps that is why gossip is so appealing. It suggests a certain amount of power because, “I have the inside scoop.” But gossip is not power. On the contrary it shows a lack of power…lack of self-control.

Today, let’s make our lives a NO GOSSIP ZONE.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Filling My Cup

By the time this posts, I will be on the road headed for Columbus, OH! Yes, Ohio! It is that time of year again – Thirty One’s National Conference.

This year I am hitting the road with my mom and one of my team members. I am excited that my mom is joining me this year.  She has been a HUGE supporter of my business so it will be fun to share “my pink bubble” with her.

In Columbus, I will be re-connecting with old friends, and getting a chance to make some new friends. It is definitely more than just a “purse thing“. It is a sisterhood that can not be explained in a few short words. The speakers for this year are going to ROCK the house.

I had a contest on my Facebook page to help me figure out which “hat” would be this year’s trademark – which one do you think won or do you think I went out and got a new one?

So what does this all have to do with organizing or de-cluttering or making a difference?  The things that I’m taking with me to conference are the same things that you should be taking with you when you step out of your comfort zone….

So, here is what else I am taking…

A POSITIVE Attitude! Despite anything that may happen today or all week I want to attract other consultants & leaders to share our strengths, hopes and experiences.   They are ONLY attracted to other positive attitudes.  Remember the Law of Attraction?

A DESIRE to learn something from every person that I meet.  I will be taking LOTS of notes and lots of screen shots since the memory isn’t what it used to be.

Patience Patience Patience – there are going to be thousands of us there along with the Speakers, Home Office staff, and everyone else that it takes to put on a Conference. There will be crowds. There will be lines. There will be waits. I am going to use these as an opportunity to meet some new friends, or shoot a text to a hostess or potential team member and share my excitement!

What I am NOT bringing to National Conference:

Envy – while I set my goals high and aspire to be a better consultant and leader, I will NOT compare my journey of where I am or where I am NOT to someone else’s.  The comparison game and this inner gremlins can spoil everything, if we let them.

A BAD Attitude ~ We ALL have crazy things happen to us and an opportunity to complain… do NOT do it! It ruins the fun for everyone else around and they will NOT want to be around you!

My Other Hats of Mom, Wife, and Housekeeper!  This is a time for me to fill my cup.  A time to increase my knowledge and bond with my other “sisters”.  Yes, I will miss my hubby, but I can concentrate and focus better if I’m not worrying about everyone or everything  else.

How many times have you stepped out of your comfort zone and NOT brought a desire to fill your cup and a positive attitude?  When we try something new or different, we need to leave the inner gremlins of doubt, fear, envy and comparison home.  It is when we bring them along that the results are not what we hoped for.

Share your best tip for being successful when you step out of your comfort zone?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Does Someone Else’s Success Threaten Yours

 

“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

Today is HUMP day!  I wanted you to know that no matter where you are or what you are doing or what you think of yourself, you are an inspiration to ME!  For some, that may not mean much but I am sure that there is someone out there that needs to hear those words.

I am sure that I am not alone in playing the comparison game…..

You go to the gym with a goal – say walking 2 miles on the treadmill.  You get there and all of them are full EXCEPT the one next to where someone is running 10 miles uphill.  In that moment, do you feel like you are wasting your time at the gym.

Have you almost walked out of the gym or worse yet tried to copy what that person was doing.  YIKES!  The truth is, you need to CELEBRATE how awesome you are for the progress you are making.  No matter how small a step it may be for you, it is one step more than someone else is taking.

Growing up there was always that “keeping up with the Jones” mentality in our neighborhood.  As if having the same “stuff” or doing the same things were going to make anyone like you any more.  The PTA mom who is always dressed to the hilt and has mega time to “organize” successfully anything she says that she will do.  The mom whose house is spotless despite being a working mom.  They all seem to have it together, right?

I will admit that I struggle with the comparison game but here are some reminders:

Detach from Everyone Else

I know, this is easier said than done, right?  The truth is that unless you’re having a competition with a friendly wager, your personal progress is 100% independent from the rest of the world and the people in it.  I am not saying that you can’t use them as inspiration of where you want to be or what your goal is BUT what I am saying is that they should not threaten your sense of satisfaction in the progress you’ve made or are making.

No Pain, Still Gain?

Yes, we have all heard this saying right?  Whether it is on a weight loss journey, building a business or running a household, right?  It is pretty common to be envious of others and want to use that as a motivator.  The truth is that this “negative motivation” is mentally draining and relatively ineffective.  Remember the Law of Attraction, right?Amazing progress is more about consistent effort and NOT emotional pain.

The Permanent Cure for Envy Is Progress

Acknowledge your progress, CELEBRATE it no matter how small.  Steps towards your goal no matter how small is one step closer to it.  Maybe you can’t run the 10 miles on the treadmill but you can jog 2 miles, that is a step forward.  Maybe your house is not spotless but it is neat and feels like home to those who visit.  CELEBRATE those things and revel in the positive energy that it creates in your life.

There will always be someone who is further along the path than you are in every area of your life.  You are making changes in your life  that is your personal progress.  You don’t know what their journey has been to get to where they are.  They may have reached their goal after years of hard work while you are just starting your journey.  Each person’s story is different.

We are the choices we make so do you choose to compare yourself to someone else OR are you ready to write your own story?

The only person you have to measure up to is the person you were yesterday. If you can beat that person, trust me, you’re doing very well.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

You be You

 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves …” Philippians 2:3 (NIV)

I have a confession!  Over the last 10 days, I was a Facebook addict.  Yes, I proudly stalked Facebook at every possible moment.  Why?  My Thirty One sisters were at National Conference and I was at home.  It was not an easy decision but one that I was at peace with.  My Sponsor even said “you have a peacefulness in you that I have never heard before”. It was a nice surprise.  Yes, Eryka, I did say “Thank you, it is true“.

So, where is this all leading?  In direct sales, there are thousands of sister consultants.  Some in the same neighborhood and maybe even on the same block.  I used to feel threatened by this.  I wanted to be the best. I wanted everyone to give me “words of affirmation”.  When others succeeded where I didn’t, I used to feel envy, jealousy and downright lousy.  This would be followed by a period of anger and frustration.  The end result, my business and my personal life suffered.

I have been blessed over the last several months to have gone through a transformation – okay, I am still a work in progress but HUGE changes have occurred.  Here are some things that I did:

1. Becky Spieth kicked it off by touching my heart at our Leadership Conference.  Check out her videos, she is AMAZING!
2. I read The Secret, TWICE.  This changed my perspective on life totally.  I now speak the positive into the Universe, leaving Negative Nelly at the curb.
3. I learned how to CELEBRATE me – my accomplishments, my faults, my inner gremlins.  The whole mess.  Thank you Eryka.
4. My morning devotions include the NIV Leadership Bible.  Okay, I will admit that there are actually parts of the Bible that I never read before.  I will admit that I don’t always get the point they are trying to make.  That is all okay.  The fact that I keep going is what is making a difference.

 

What did I learn?  Everyone’s journey is different.  I need to be ME!  I have been called and given an assignment by God.  Okay, so I may not know what it is but I know he has a plan for me.  I am not going to let comparison, jealousy or envy take me off his path.  God has given us gifts but not to make ourselves better than the girl next to us.  The gifts are ours to share with the world.  The road maybe rocky but I know that when I give my insecurities to God – truly turn them over – I can confidently be myself while watching someone else live out theirs (and maybe even my) dream. It is an ongoing struggle but we need to put our insecurities aside so we can embrace the place where we have confidence and assurance.

So stalking Facebook allowed me to CELEBRATE the accomplishments of others and I am blessed by it. I am ME! You are YOU!  We may have the same business but our paths are different.  God has a unique plan for each of us.

Are you willing to forgo the envy and the jealousy to live the life that God has planned for you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Envy

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”   Proverbs 14:30 (NIV)

Envy is defined as “a feeling of discontent or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck”; “a desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else)”.

I have felt envy.  I never wanted to admit that Envious Edna occasionally pays a visit to my office.  She tries to call at least once a month.  You know when monthly CELEBRATIONS or promotions are announced.  Sometimes it is easy to ignore the call while other times, she sits in the office for the day sharing her words of inadequacy.  Am I proud of this? NO!

Then in the midst, God will send me a sign – a gentle reminder that each of us are called to do his work.  That the body of Christ needs many parts to work and my part may be different than someone else’s.  As a result, their accolades now may be mine later.

I never thought it was envy.  I used to feel like they were just better at sales, recruiting, or bookings than I was.  Or it wasn’t my time. Or, maybe this was not what I was meant to do.  Ladies, lets be honest, envy and jealousy has drifted into all of our thoughts at some time. The difference is how each of us handles it.  Some use it as motivation to strive for greater things.  Others use it as an excuse NOT to achieve their goals.  Then there are those who never give it a second thought because they are focused on letting their individual qualities shine through.

I found that when I acknowledge the envy, confessed it before God (and anyone else that would listen) that I was taking steps to closing the door completely on Envious Edna.  I was healing.

The next step was to STOP the comparison.  We know that the grass is NOT always greener on the other side.  While we are comparing ourselves to others, there are people comparing themselves to us.  This tidbit of information really shocked me.  People were really envious of ME???

What do I do when I am feeling overlooked? Look up and celebrate with others. Send an email or text on the spot, and chase away those negative feelings. “Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15a, NIV).  The truth is this is the BEST medicine for me.  Bringing joy to others.

I am learning to be patient. I don’t know about you but patience is NOT usually one of my strongpoints.  I am learning to own my journey and enjoy it. My goal is to make someone smile each day and let my light shine (and maybe sell some Thirty One in the process)   “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud” (1 Corinthians 13:4, NIV).

When I learned to let go of the envy and actually befriend the one who I was envious of, I learned that we both had strengths that could help each other.  I began to understand the dynamics of our personalities and why each of us were successful in our own way.  I could actually admit that I was successful in something.

Most of all, I have learned to have faith and trust in God.  He stands ready, willing and able to overcome our weaknesses through the power of His Spirit.  If we lean on him and follow his plan for our life, the blessings will fall upon us.  They may not be the way you want.  They may not be what you initially thought you wanted BUT gratitude is the key.  For everything (good and bad) is a blessing.  And I am reminded of that each time I hear the song “Blessings” by Laura Story.

So, if you have succumbed to envy or jealousy, now is the time to admit it.  Close the door on Envious Edna and rejoice with others as you trust in God’s timing.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!