Do You Believe?

I dedicate today’s blog to all of those who doubt themselves, who beat themselves up over past mistakes, who think they are inferior, or who think they will never succeed.  

January has been an interesting month for me…. trying to find my passion again, setting goals than changing them, doubting myself, waiting for answers to prayers, and working on my 4th & 5th steps….Living life on life’s terms can be rough.

I want you to know you are not alone, we are in this journey together.  I’m back to sharing my strengths, hopes and experiences a few times per month.  I want you to remember together we can heal and become the AMAZING women God wants us to be.  It won’t always be easy.  It probably won’t be in our time – God works on his schedule not ours.  But the important thing is – we do heal!

I am grateful for the struggles because from them I grow.  I am grateful for my faith which keeps me grounded even on the toughest days.  I am learning so much about myself lately and I have to admit – it can be pretty scary!  It has mw wondering (and sometimes doubting) all kinds of things.  I know the road may be bumpy but the end result is to be a better person tomorrow than I am today.  You don’t have to have lofty goals or dreams.  You don’t have to make changes immediately.  Remember slow and steady wins the race.  The key is to listen to those God nudges (or smacks on the head for me sometimes).  Trust and believe.  

This is a repost from gobigcoach:

I believe in you,

Even when you don’t.

I know you are a miracle,

Even when you forget.

I am thankful for YOUR extraordinary,

Even when you feel like you’re not enough.

Whatever you struggle with,

I know you can survive…

And prevail!

Whatever you resist,

I know you can allow…

Harmoniously.

Whatever you dream,

I know you can experience…

And expand into even more.

Whenever you fall and wonder if you

can get up again…

Remember, I believe in you – even when you don’t.

Don’t let fear and doubt steal the joys of each day.  You are an amazing individual with gifts and talents to share with the world! You ARE extraordinary!

Have an Epic day!

 

Thankful Thursday: Disability

You are a diamond created by the crushing, pressing fires in life… in other words the journey.

I am no working on my 4th step which is “We made a searching and fearless morale inventory of ourselves” which is pretty damn scary.  It means reflecting back on my resentments and the part I actually played in certain situations.  I am reminded every day, this is to the best of my ability because my memory definitely falls short.  It is a process and in order to get to the other side, I need to walk through this step.

:I will admit there are days when I look back at what used to be and wish life was different. I have even envied others who didn’t have an addiction or a disability. What? I know I can’t change the past and dwelling on it will not change the journey I am on.  I know I shouldn’t think like this but thoughts happen.  Some days in my head can be kinda scary. I can think of some crazy ideas and have some equally wild woe-is-me moments. Then there are days when I can’t remember anything from the past which I think is God’s way of keeping me at peace.

I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never wanted things to be different, because I have. Those thoughts seem to appear most when the struggle is at its worst. I don’t like feeling that way, but it happens. That’s just me being real.

I could let my addiction or my multiple sclerosis sour my life.  I could let it cause me to become as miserable as my body feels with thoughts of what used to be and what could have been, or I could spend each day trying to become a better person.  I can vaguely remember spending countless hours working on self-development – trying to change me especially where my business was concerned.  The truth was I needed to rid myself of the inner gremlins which have been haunting me for years instead of just stuffing them behind a locked door.  Sometimes the learning process was hard and it still is, but the lessons I have learned along the way are invaluable.  I am learning asking for help is not the sign of weakness I always thought it was – it is a sign of strength.  The ability to admit when we don’t know something or need help is a gift because it allows others to share with us their strength, hope and experiences.

One thing being back in recovery has taught me is to be thankful.  I’m even thankful for the MS.   Many people won’t have the opportunity to get through today; like the addict who will take their last drug.  That is enough to make me appreciate everything I have, whether it’s pain, the inability to do something, or the lack of memories MS and addiction can throw my way. I’m thankful through it all.

Fear is real but I can overcome anything if I am willing to let go and let God.  I can’t do any of this on my own – I need other addicts to walk me through recovery and I need others with MS to show me how they cope each and every day.  On those bad days, I take my day and break it up into tiny chunks.  Someone told me recently it’s easy to eat an elephant. STOP!  No haters – Not a real elephant, but a giant obstacle you are facing. Do it one bite at a time.  One step at a time which is why they are in a certain order.  So I break my day up…one bite at a time. I may find things hard to swallow at times, but when I keep at it I find I’m able to get through it. That impossible elephant suddenly becomes possible.

Having a dual disability (MS and addiction) has prepared me for the rest of my life. It has given me a better perspective on what’s really important. That highly successful career I held on to for way too long, wanting a big house, craving a fancy car, and lots of material things – they are no longer a focus for me.  I wonder why so many of us strive all our lives for stuff and titles? Those things don’t matter in the end. What matters is loving people and knowing you are loved. Everything could be stripped from me and I know I would make it.  Okay, so I am still working on this BUT I know God would provide.  Some days I wonder if other people could get through even one hour of what we with disabilities face, let alone a full day.

Living with a dual disability gave me an advantage over the rest of the world. In essence a second chance.  I learning  to appreciate the roses and the sunsets as well as the storm clouds and looming tsunamis. I choose to live life on my terms… not how other people think it should be done. It may appear strange to others, but I’m not trying to win an award. I just want to get through each day knowing I did the best I could with what I was given.

Whatever your life’s path…..You’ve got this. Don’t ever doubt your strength or your worth. You are a beautiful diamond. Your journey through your crushing pressing obstacles, and your  fire has made you the AMAZING person you are. Now’s your time to shine!

Have a blessed day!

I Believe in You

I dedicate today’s blog to all of those who doubt themselves, who beat themselves up over past mistakes, who think they are inferior, or who think they will never succeed.  You are not alone, we are in this journey together.  I share my strengths, hopes and experiences with you every day so you will remember together we can heal and become the AMAZING women God wants us to be.  This is a repost from an email I received from gobigcoach, I wanted to share.

I believe in you,

Even when you don’t.

I know you are a miracle,

Even when you forget.

I am thankful for YOUR extraordinary,

Even when you feel like you’re not enough.

Whatever you struggle with,

I know you can survive…

And prevail!

Whatever you resist,

I know you can allow…

Harmoniously.

Whatever you dream,

I know you can experience…

And expand into even more.

Whenever you fall and wonder if you

can get up again…

Remember, I believe in you – even when you don’t.

You ARE extraordinary!

Have a ThirtyOne-deful day!

Sharing your VISION

Do you have a vision for your business, your family or your life?

I love this analogy: “Vision works like a rudder on a ship. Without it, the ship may travel a distance, but not necessarily in the right direction. With it, the ship reaches the destination by the shortest route possible. Vision determines the direction of the team.”

In the past, my ship has traveled off course, what about yours?

Champion basketball coach Pat Riley once said, “Teamwork requires that everyone’s efforts flow in a single direction. Feelings of significance happen when a team’s energy takes on a life of its own.”

I am a leader that doesn’t impart my vision very well to the members of my team.  The goal should be to transfer the vision both emotionally and logically.

There are several components for an emotional transfer of your vision such as:

• Credibility.  Does your team trust you?  People buy into a leader before they buy into the vision.
• Passion.  Is your vision something that you care about?  Team members can’t get excited about a vision if you aren’t excited. They need to see and feel your passion so they embrace it.
• Relationship. How well do your teammates know you? How well do you know them?  Everything we do in life involves relationships.  I know you have heard this one a million times: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
• Timing. You may have all of the components of sharing your vision BUT if the timing isn’t right, it will never fly.  The right decision at the wrong time is still the wrong decision.
• Feel the need.  We all need to be part of something bigger than ourselves.  Sharing how your vision meets a need can lead to an emotional buy-in.

The logical transfer of a vision is something that I struggle with since some would say I am a “warm and fuzzy” kind of girl.

• A realistic understanding of the situation today.  You need a starting point.  That starting point begins when you have a firm grasp on reality.  When people understand where they are starting and what the goal is, they are more willing to partner in achieving it.
• An experienced team.  I’m not sure that I agree 100% that the team has to have experience with the vision.  Yes, if they’ve dealt with similar situations, they and more confident in their ability to tackle the challenge.  I have seen many who have an emotional link to the vision and no experience still reach their goal.
• A sound strategy.  I must admit, my game plans in the past have not been very clear or succinct.  I love to have input from team members rather than give them a specific plan.  I have learned that the more detailed the plan, the more they are going to fully accept responsibility for achieving the vision .
• Leader accepts responsibility.  As the leader, do you embrace your role in achieving the vision? Are you willing to be held accountable? People need to know that you’ll do your part.
• Celebration of each victory.  Yes, I am a BIG proponent of CELEBRATING every milestone.  I believe that it keeps people moving forward.  It is the accomplishments of those small goals that help you to reach the bigger vision.  Celebrations help team members track their progress and find the motivation to continue on the journey.
• Evaluation of each defeat.   When the team misses a goal, acknowledge it and focus on how the team can do better moving forward.  Celebrate the defeat then let it go!! (Yes, I do hear the Frozen song in my head)

It is not too late to cast your vision to your team so they can see the bigger picture.  When they buy in emotionally and logically, they will work together with you to achieve victory.  Through vision casting, teams learn together develop accountability, connection and engagement.

What is YOUR vision for 2016?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

 

Life Lessons And Blogging

I love blogging, most days.  Even though I love to write, I do get writer’s block.  I have doubts – I wonder if anyone is reading it.  Am I sharing too much personal stuff?  Am I pushing my business too much?  So many questions run through my mind.  Doubts plague me.  Like that should surprise you!

Then someone will reach out to me and says “thanks, that is what I needed to hear”.  Those doubts melt away until the next time.  I smile and say “you are welcome”.  God has provided a “wink” moment to let me know that he is still in control.

When asked what my blog is about, I often hesitate because I am not sure just how to answer that question.  My goal is and always has been to share my strength, hope and experiences so that others may benefit from my struggles.  I want people to be able to get to know me – all sides of me – the good, the bad and yes, the ugly.

I have learned to stop worrying about who is reading my blog as well as what people think.  Now, if I could apply that to the rest of my life, I would be ROCKIN’.  I am who I am.  I know that some will like me while others will run in the opposite direction.  I know there will be critics.  Through it all, I get through it.

I like to mix things up in my blog with things that I have learned in business along with life lessons combined with things about my family, friends and of course, my pink bubble.  Are my details too intimate?  The things I share in my blog are things that I would be comfortable sharing even if we were having a conversation face to face.  I want to be honest and open with my readers.  I want to create a relationship with them, as best I can over the internet.

I have heard from a few people that they want to start blogging but don’t know where to begin.  I remember being there and my first blog was actually something dear to my heart.  I shared about the bullying that my daughter endured in school.  It was hard but I wanted people to understand that just because parents don’t know what is happening, it doesn’t mean that we are bad parents.  Thank you Vanessa Coppes for the push, I will be eternally grateful.

Blogging has helped me to be confident.  It has pushed me outside of my comfort zone.  It has helped me face my fears by putting them out into the universe.  Even though writing is a cleansing process for me, I try to use it as a way to help others to overcome their fears.

The truth is that I journaled everyday for years as a way to work through things.  Blogging allows me to share what I have learned while encouraging others. Can you tell that today was one of those days that I wasn’t sure what to write?

If you are thinking about blogging, try it!  Step out of your comfort zone.  If you are already a blogger, post your link below so that we can all read your blog.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!