F-I-G-H-T!

F-I-G-H-T! That’s the battle cry of kids in so many families today. Before we reach the car door, brother and sister are close to blows over who gets to sit in the front. “He pinched me!” “She pulled my hair!” And so it goes.

Siblings have often been rivals. Even back in Bible times. Think about Cain and Abel and Joseph and his eleven brothers. As in these very serious situations, some sibling squabbles can have disastrous results.

Is there a way to mitigate the negative aspects of sibling fights? When carefully monitored by parents, can they actually foster growth? Experts list three benefits to in-house fighting:

1. Interpersonal empathy. Fights offer children the opportunity to learn sensitivity to the feelings of others.

2. Emotional processing. Fights give children a chance to express and process emotions.
3. Resolution skills. Fights give children experience in establishing nonviolent solutions like compromise and cooperation.

While God can and does bring good out of even the worst of situations, we can help our children grow well by teaching them how to “fight” well.

This devotion is from the NIV Mom’s Devotional Bible by Zondervan.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

How Every Wife Can Fight Like a Warrior

Thank you to Encouragement for Today and Alicia Bruxvoort for today’s message.

“Take … the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray always. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how!” Ephesians 6:17b-18 

My littlest boy pattered down the stairs in the dark before dawn and found me sitting in the big leather chair by the window. On my lap were my Bible and the book I’d used for over a decade to prompt prayers for my husband.

My son sidled up beside me and reached for the book. He examined the tattered cover with 5-year-old curiosity then flipped through the yellowed pages inside. He studied the words splattered with coffee stains and rainbow highlights and cast me an inquisitive gaze.

“What is this thing?” he asked.

“It’s a book that helps me pray God’s Word over Daddy …”

My 5-year-old’s green eyes grew wide. “It looks like it’s been in a battle, Mommy!”

I planted a kiss atop my son’s unruly tuft and murmured, “It has, sweetheart. It has.”

My son leaned his sleepy head against my shoulder and as we sat in comfortable silence, I remembered the day when God had called a younger and floundering me into combat.

I’d stepped into marriage with grand plans to dance happily through life with the man I loved. But seven years and three kids later, our union felt more like a stumbling shuffle than a tantalizing tango.

There were bills to pay and children to feed; problems to solve and jobs to keep. And as life settled heavy on our shoulders, our marriage spiraled into a jaded jitter of frustrations and unmet expectations.

Sadly, I could name my husband’s shortcomings faster than I could list his strengths, and I could articulate my disappointment more keenly than I could define my delight. I knew God intended marriage to be more than a baffling boogie, but I didn’t know how to reclaim the joy that had once spurred our steps.

One day in Bible study, I aired my grievances to an older and wiser woman. She listened quietly, then pulled me into a one-armed hug and whispered words of truth: “Honey, you’ve gotta decide if you’re gonna spend your energy fighting with your husband or fighting for him.”

My stomach lurched with conviction, and she held my tear-filled eyes in a silent gaze. “Every wife was made to be a warrior,” she said with resolve.

I felt a sliver of hope stirring deep inside, and when I got home, I scoured the shelves for that book of prayers I’d been given as a young bride. Maybe somewhere on those crisp white pages I’d find ammunition for battle.

Later that night, I sat on the couch and begged God to teach me how to fight.

Day after day, I took the Apostle Paul’s words to heart —”Pray about everything in every way you know how!” And like a baby learning to walk, I learned to speak God’s truth over our waffling and weary union.

When I was tempted to fling hurtful words, I asked God to help me swing the sword of the Spirit instead. When I felt weak and discouraged, I asked Christ to infuse me with His strength and His hope.

Eventually I found myself choosing to battle rather than belittle, to praise rather than pester, to believe rather than despair. And one day I woke up and realized I was no longer blind to the gift of my husband. My prayers had granted me fresh vision.

Slowly and surely, our marriage dance began to change. We found ourselves waltzing to a new rhythm of joy. Not with flawless steps or perfect poise, but with confidence in the One who had joined our hearts.

I looked at the worn book on my lap and whispered a prayer of thanks as my son’s sleepy stupor gave way to playful frolic. “Let’s have a sword fight before breakfast, Mommy!” he said as he leaped off my lap and raced up the stairs in search of his plastic saber.

He paused at the landing and cast me a reassuring grin, “Don’t worry, Mommy. We’re just pretending.”

I mirrored his smile and swiped my Bible through the air like a dangerous dagger. “I’m not a bit worried,” I replied. “I’ve had lots of practice in battle!”

 

Out of Your Comfort Zone to be Successful

Happy Friday!!

I know that many of you are ready for this weekend since it is the 50th Super Bowl.  I know that I am excited even if my favorite team, J-E-T-S, are not playing but I will be cheering on the Carolina Panthers.  

I am guessing for some, you aren’t thinking about working your business this weekend. WHY?  You will be hanging with friends.  Celebrating.  Watching football.  You don’t want to be the pushy sales person, right?  Would it be out of your comfort zone to talk about what you LOVE – your business at a social gathering?  I will admit that sometimes it is a struggle for me.  I am not quite sure how to work it into the conversation.

Here are a few things that YOU (and me) will need to do if we want to be successful in our business:

1. You have to make the call you’re afraid to make.  FEAR stops us in our tracks.  I have found if I do the thing that I am most afraid of first thing in the morning or when I first walk into my office – it gets done.  No time to think about it.  Just do it!
2. You have to get up earlier than you want to get up.  For me this has become more of a physical struggle due to some recently diagnosed health issues.  Getting up at 5AM used to be easy.  Now I struggle BUT I know that if I don’t get in  my office by 7AM – nothing gets done.
3. You have to give more than you get in return right away.  I think this goes along with the old saying “you have to spend money to make money”.
4.  You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore. Okay, so we don’t mean this physically BUT you need to keep going even when you feel unsure & insecure.
5. You have to lead when no one else is following you yet.  This is so true in DS.  It wasn’t my original goal to be a leader.  I just shared the fun & benefits and they started to follow.
6. You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is.  I have to admit that I still struggle with this one.  My inner gremlins always want to battle me on this.
7. You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.  Yes, I have been there and I am sure that I will be there again.  Mistakes are how we learn and grow.  Some of the greatest people have made mistakes and kept going when people thought that they were crazy!
8. You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you.  Keep your goal in front of you – no matter how big or small.  It can be as simple as some extra money to play with or it can be a career change and the desire to NOT work for someone else.

I know what does all of this have to do with hanging out with friends at a Super Bowl party, right?  If you want to succeed, you will find a way to work your business into conversations this weekend.  You won’t be pushy.  You will be sharing a part of your life that you love.  Step out of your comfort zone so that you can succeed.

You have to do the hard things. The things that no one else is doing. The things that scare you. The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on. Those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between living a life of mediocrity or outrageous success. The hard things are the easiest things to avoid. To excuse away. To pretend like they don’t apply to you. The simple truth about how ordinary people accomplish outrageous feats of success is that they do the hard things that smarter, wealthier, more qualified people don’t have the courage — or desperation — to do. Do the hard things. You might be surprised at how amazing you really are.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!