It is hard to believe it is December and MANNNYYY months since I wrote a blog post. If you believed retirement was filled with empty days, you are sadly mistaken. LOL. The days whirl by and I wonder what actually got accomplished.
Thanksgiving was full of mixed emotions…. Belinda came home with the 3 grand fur-babies (Everest, Turner and Zoe). It was 5 days full of family, fun and craziness. We opened our doors to new friends who had no place to go for the holiday. There was the sadness of my step-dad not being with us and remembering his love for my green bean casserole last year. Of course with the craziness usually comes an MS episode – this season was no different. I’m not sure how to describe it other than my body just decides it is time to STOP! Because obviously, I have no shut off switch. I did make progress letting the girls help in the kitchen with cooking and cleaning up. The episode started with dragging my left foot and ended with me in a chair unable to process thoughts, tingling throughout my body and barely able to move. So as everyone else was working on projects, I stayed home and dog sat. Grateful to have a house full of fur baby love.
As we move towards Christmas, another set of emotions emerge. As my daughter says “we aren’t good with feelings“. How true BUT I am learning to deal with them one day at a time because they pass in the blink of an eye. The tree is up and I spent a few hours trying to remember the meaning of each ornament. In the past, the frustration would bring tears and a total melt down. This year, I embraced each memory no matter how small and the ones I couldn’t remember went back in the box for another time. I made the decision to focus on the positive – what I could remember – instead of beating myself up over the past and the lack of memories. Grateful I had some no matter who small they were.
Yes, these may be mindless ramblings to some but to others it will be the words they need to know they are not alone. The comparison games we play, are only in our heads. We really aren’t the center of most people’s thoughts. The negative self-talk can be stopped with a simple change – find a positive and focus on it, no matter how small it may be. If you caught yourself BEFORE you picked up the “bat” to beat yourself up with negative talk…. you are a WINNER!
There are some new things coming in 2022…… new angel designs, an epic life with clean eating so lots of new recipes and yumminess, and some surprises. My plan – always subject to change – is to blog a little bit more and try to be consistent. The key word for me is “try” so I don’t become obsessed with it and stress myself out.
I plan to spend December being in the moment….. counting my blessings, and enjoying family and friends which is definitely new for me. Yes, 3+ years in recovery and I am finally learning to live in the moment. Trying to follow God’s will for my life even if I can’t see it or don’t get it. I know he shows me glimpses of things along the way, if I am paying attention. There may be struggles – MS episodes, tears over those we have lost, feelings of frustration, feelings of loneliness, and fears may creep in BUT it is okay. They will pass and life will go on.
I am grateful for those who continue to support my journey and my small businesses. I am blessed by those who take the time to read my blog and keep me in your prayers.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a joyous holiday season.