How to Stop Questioning Yourself

This morning I was struggling about what to post…. when this happens I generally scroll through the hundreds of past blog posts to see if something grabs my attention.  I’m grateful for the long list of blogs because it is a reminder of my life – the good, the bad and the ugly.

As the end of the fiscal year with Thirty One ends and a new one begins – doubt starts to creep in.  Weird since I had my highest career sales in 2020-2021 and most days I am comfortable where my business and my life are. It usually means, I haven’t taken enough time to seek God’s guidance in the morning.

Every morning in my Facebook memories, I see a quote from “Get Your Girl Back Movement” and no matter how old the message is, it seems to hit home!  Today’s was…

You can do it Hope and if you couldn’t, God would not have given you the dream in the first place. If you would have put as much time into your dream as you do questioning yourself and your ability it would have already been accomplished. Now- stop asking and go make your dream come true!

Kind of funny because since the MS, I struggle with dreaming.  I have a wish list of things I would like to do but not a BIG dream.  My last BIG dream was to pay off my credit card debt and I’m grateful with the help of my side hustle, this is DONE!  Financial freedom can be scary for an addict in recovery – money in the savings account, bills paid and the ability to enjoy each day without the stress of how to pay for things.  I have to consciously remember how unmanageable life was during my addiction (yes, shopping can be an addiction too).

MS has taught me to live in the moment (most days) because who knows what tomorrow will bring.  Planning long term can be stressful and tends to lead me into a fix, manage and control state of mind.  Not good for my MS or my recovery.  I think I squirreled.. LOL.

As I think about the new fiscal business year, I wonder what God would want me to do.  I’m doing a 6-week training program so I am focusing on being intentional about what God wants from me each day.  The problem is when a thought or idea hits, Doubtful Debbie pays a visit.  What are my dreams?  Are they mine or what I think they “should be”?  Will they bring me joy?  Will they help me reach my purpose in life?  I know I am not alone, right?

Then out of no where the message “STOP QUESTIONING YOURSELF” appears.  I take a breath and quiet my mind (not always easy).  I know my purpose is “to make a difference”, as basic as it is, it is my life’s mission.  From simply putting a smile on someone’s face, sharing words of encouragement, or raising funds for a cause – one small act of kindness can make a difference.

I’m not sure who needed to hear this, but I hope at least one person is helped by knowing they are not alone.  How do I stop questioning myself?  As soon as I realize it is happening, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and release.  Bless and release.  Sounds easy, right?  Believe me, if you struggle with this – you know it takes lots of practice.  If I can’t get out of my head I do something else – work on my puzzle, read, take a walk and enjoy God’s beauty or work on a blog post. I do things to bring me joy and help me to kick Doubtful Debbie to the curb.

What are YOU questioning yourself about?  Do you have a dream that gets pushed to the side when life gets too busy? Or are you like me and when that happens, you begin to doubt your dream?  Just for today, stop asking AND make your dream come true.  Who is with me??

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

What Do You WANT?

It is Monday morning……

• Are you dragging yourself out of bed to start your week? OR are you looking forward to the week ahead.
• What do you WANT out of today?
• When you put your head on your pillow tonight…what would you like to have FINISHED?
• What PROGRESS could you make on your goals today?

I am blessed with no “brain fog” this morning.  I may still move a little slower getting out of but I am ready to start the week.  What about you?

I had the pleasure of meeting Traci Bild at Mom Grows a Business Conference a few years ago.   Traci was also a guest speaker at Thirty One’s National Conference that same year.  Traci’s message seemed to go in one ear and out the other.

A few days ago, her video popped up (a God wink, I am sure). Obviously, God has a message that I needed to hear which is why she keeps showing up in my life.  I am thinking that there is someone else out there that could stand to hear the message too.  Click the link and take just 45 minutes to listen to the video! I have been soaking up like a sponge her daily words of inspiration – check her out on Facebook.  The first thing that hit me with a SMACK was the importance of not just setting business goals but also setting personal goals. It makes sense, right?  We have set business goals all of our life but when was the last time you wrote down a goal for your personal life?  Think about the things that matter most to you then write a goal with 3 action steps.

I have said it a zillion times BUT it needs to be repeated…

The KEY to being happy and successful – personally and professionally – is changing your current mindset and belief system.  It is this thinking that keeps you stuck or repeating the same habits in your life and your business.

Just for today, let’s make a change.  So,

If you REACT all day long, there is no progress.
If you DREAD your day, there is no progress.
If you RESENT your bills, your schedule, your kids, your job, there is no progress.
If you SURF, read, piddle and social all day, there is no progress.
If you WAIT for a better time, there is no progress.
If you WISH for someone else to be more supportive, there is no progress.
If you WANDER through your list, your desk, your mail, your email and your tasks…there is no progress.

Today, make PROGRESS on PURPOSE.  Even if you just set a timer for an HOUR (okay, make it 15 minutes to start) so that YOU can move FORWARD.

What will you do to move forward today?  Share with us so we can CELEBRATE you.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Dear Teenage Self Part 2

Traci Bild‘s list had some more great ideas so I wanted to share my take on her ideas….

1. Write College Essays – I know, this one sounds weird, right?  But despite how much I loved writing, especially poetry, when I was younger; I avoided some college applications because I didn’t want to write essays.  I didn’t think I was very good at it.  My SAT scores and grades were average.  I just had not confidence in myself or what many thought was a strength.

2. Rooming with a Friend – I didn’t know anyone when I went to college which I am guessing was a good thing.  I hoped to start fresh and hopefully find ME!  So, when Belinda looked at colleges,  when she thought for a minute that she would stay home and go locally; living at home.  I said NO!  You need to go to college and stay there.  Make new friends, expand your circles.  Okay, so 12 hours away was a little bit further than I would like but despite some stormy weeks in the beginning…. where does she still live?  Yup, North Carolina.

3. Join a Sorority – When I went to Roger Williams College, there were no sororities or fraternities on campus.  I know, it must have been the dark ages RIGHT?  When Belinda had the chance to pledge with AXO, I encouraged her.  This move helped her in so many ways to become the AMAZING woman that she is today.

4. Date Different People – I dated in high school and a little bit in college.  I think the lack of confidence really caught up with me in this area.  Belinda didn’t date a lot either but she always was with a group of friends (primarily guys).  I am blessed that hubby and I reconnected after 30 years because I owe ALOT of my AHA and growing the last few years to him.

5. Find Related Job/Internship – I probably drilled this into Belinda forever.  I encouraged her with every job she had to find a way to relate it to her field of study.  Little did I know that she would end up being a social worker.  The push to find related jobs and internships in college has helped Belinda to grow in her field even though it means she is still in North Carolina.  As for me, I was a Pre-law major with a goal of helping people who couldn’t afford an attorney.  Guess the switch to social work wasn’t such a stretch after all.

 6. Let Life Lead You – The life you imagine for yourself may not materialize how you think it will, so be prepared and open for both the magical and difficult aspects of adulthood. As kids, we fantasize about how wonderful adulthood will be. Of course it’s exciting but also challenging.

The plans you made as a child as to when you would marry, have kids, and what career you would have may not have worked out as you thought or predicted.  You may feel like you didn’t choose your own adventure because you are now in a place as a result of “circumstances”.  The truth is, despite our best efforts to make our own plan, God has a plan for each of us.

It doesn’t matter what direction life leads –  you may be shocked and it may delight you OR you may feel like you are on a train wreck but that’s okay!  Learn the life lesson and move on.  Don’t get stuck in the past or in the moment for you may miss that window (or door) that is open for new possibilities.

Have you shared the advice you would have given your teenage self with your kids?  If not, why not?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Not Worthy

Happy Friday Everyone!!!  I am so happy because I have the entire weekend OFF!  Nothing special planned except that I get some much needed hubby and me time.  I know that sounds crazy right, since I talk about being off with Rob on Monday and Tuesday all of the time.  The difference is that we don’t have anything we HAVE to do.  We are just going to wing it!  Of course, the summer crowds may prevent some things because we avoid the “shoobies” but we are going to enjoy the day!

Okay, so based on all of that, my title of “not worthy” has probably got you wondering what I am talking about, right?  Since I have been dealing with some health issues – hubby thinks all will be solved by leaving WaWa – I have found myself feeling “not worthy”.  Here are some of the labels that I have picked up over that have allowed Negative Nellie to camp on my doorstep…

1. You are old.  I have never really thought about my age as anything more than a number but over the last few months, I am feeling like I am 100 versus a mere 57.
2. Bad housekeeper.  Now don’t get me wrong, my house is not filthy, it just is slightly dusty.  I have never been much for the crazy weekly clean.  Everything is neat but I do have some dust bunnies that have taken up residence behind the couch.
3. Not a good wife.  I don’t fit the picture of the perfect wife – you know, the one who can do it all – but does that mean that I am not a good wife?  No, just a little overwhelmed at times.
4. Not a good leader.  This one comes from playing the comparison game with what others do and where they are in their business.  Just when I think I have shed this thought – Doubtful Debbie joins the party.
5. Not good at recruiting.  Okay, this is me talking negative into the universe and as a result, not recruiting.  I may miss cues but I do love to share the gift of Thirty One with anyone who will listen.
6. Not good at direct sales.  WOW!  I am not sure where that one came from but as I look at July which is a little light on bookings, I realize that I have the ability to make the difference.  I can sit back and just let it happen or I can try to turn things around.  Three years plus in business, average party sales of $475 with at least 7 guests per party, a team of 23 in my entire downline and upcoming Rising Stars – there may be room for improvement but I got this!
7. Fat!  Yes, this word has creeped in again.  I lost 100+ pounds and I still can’t shed that word.  The thought of putting on a bathing suit with the excess skin has not helped the situation.  I am looking forward to being off of 2nd shift and eating healthier.

These are just a few of the words that have impacted me lately.  When I shared this with hubby, his response was “You are trying to do too much.  Slow down and (basically) get some balance.”  Thank you Get Your Girl Back for getting me to STOP and see how all of this negative is limiting my ability to step into my destiny – whatever that may be.  I have always believe that I am destined to make a difference in people’s lives and my Thirty One business allows me that chance.

As I prepare to shed the things that are draining me in my life, I am headed to finding balance between my family, my personal life, my business and my part-time job.  What labels have you picked up that need to be shed?  Journal about this today and see where it leads you.  I don’t journal but I do blog and just putting these feelings on paper has helped me to realize how crazy these labels are for me.

Share your negative labels and how you are going to over come them.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Stop Asking

Every morning in addition to my devotions, I get a message from “Get Your Girl Back Movement” which always manages to be just what I need to hear.  Check out their website and get YOUR own words of encouragement.  This was today’s…

You can do it Hope and if you couldn’t, God would not have given you the dream in the first place. If you would have put as much time into your dream as you do questioning yourself and your ability it would have already been accomplished. Now- stop asking and go make your dream come true!

As the last five days have been crazy busy – work (you know that part-time WaWa job), getting ready and hosting Celebrate and Connect plus hostess coaching and closing parties – I am feeling just a tad overwhelmed.  Oh, did I mention that I had an interview for a different part-time job (less standing on my feet and more consistent hours).  I almost forgot – spending time with hubby, laundry & attempting to clean (okay, so the due bunnies are safe for a little while longer).  You get the picture.

When I have a week like this, I start to wonder what God is trying to tell me and then Doubtful Debbie pays a visit.  I get tired because I haven’t found a way to balance (or juggle) in the midst of all of the craziness.  My dreams seem to get farther away – the one of NOT having to work a part-time job at all! Then I get the message “STOP QUESTIONING YOURSELF”.  I know I am not alone, right?   I am sure that some are tired of hearing (or reading) about this ongoing struggle but I hope that at least one person is helped by my ongoing struggle to know that they are not alone.

So, what am I going to do today – PLAN the rest of the week finding time to do all that needs to be done.  PRIORITIZE what needs to be done so that I focus on “money making” tasks and not just tasks.  That is it!  Nothing major.  No HUGE projects.  Just set a schedule for every money making task and stick to it – that includes the pink bag calls to my customers.  Sounds simple enough.

What are YOU questioning yourself about?  Do you have a dream that gets pushed to the side sometime when life gets too busy? Or are you like me and when that happens, you begin to doubt your dream?  As of today, I am going to stop asking AND make my dream come true.  Who is with me??

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!