How many of you are paralyzed by perfection? The perfect weight? The perfect size? The perfect business? The perfect house? Being the perfect mom? I have been there and some days still am….Perfection is all about playing the comparison game thinking of what we “should be” instead of focusing on the positives of who we are….
As I walk through recover this time, I am AGAIN learning it is progress not perfection which makes us better. Here is a post I saw which made me realize on most days despite my best efforts, I am “stuck” worrying about perfection….
I would tell you I wasn’t staring at him, but I’d be lying. He immediately caught my attention as he wheeled himself down the aisle. Stopping beside me, he said, “Hello.” I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He lifted himself up in his wheelchair. Unabashed, he balanced on his knees where his lower legs used to be. Unable to move, I watched him stretch, reaching for something on the store’s upper shelf.
What if he fell?
He wobbled as he grabbed his item, and then sat back down in his chair. Before I could offer to help, he’d completed his task. He nodded at me and continued his shopping. I stood there immobilized by my thoughts. What empowered him to be so, whole? His exterior shell broken, but inside—something beautifully different.
WOW! This made me realize how crippled I am on a daily basis. I battle the inner gremlins of perfection which are often paired with the comparison game gremlins. Yes, they love to tag team me until I am left battered and bruised. On the inside I’m left feeling less than while on the outside, things look great. Check out some milestones in my life….
- 16 months in recovery after a relapse
- Maintaining a 100+ pound weight loss
- Doing what I love ever day in my own business
- MS does not define in
- A loving husband and supportive family
I don’t say these to brag but so I can appreciate the journey I am on to become a better me every da. The list could probably be longer but the gremlins start to rear their heads when I think about the positives in my life. They want me to stay stuck in the negatives. The addictive thinking which kept me feeling less than everyone else. What about you, what are some major milestones in your life? Do you focus on them or do you focus on your failed attempts?
Does your idea of perfection cripple you into believing everything you do has to be impeccable? Does your worth ride on your success? Think about the gentleman described above…. He elevated his viewpoint, lived outside the lines, and appeared content—all signs of living imperfectly. Definitely not someone who is handicapped, right?
Here are three ways to become unparalyzed by perfection:
#1 Straighten Up
Believe it or not, standing up straight and changing our body alignment, can make a difference. How often when we fail at perfectionism do we feel unworthy? As a result, we walk hunched over or eyes cast to the ground, not enjoying the world around us. Why not practice your “supergirl pose”? It is time to change your perspective. Maybe it is with positive mantras to change your mindset, Maybe it is seeking your Higher Power. Maybe it is blessing and releasing those fears. Whatever it is get busy!
#2 Live Outside the Lines
You are NOW standing up straight, so let’s step out of your comfort zone — live outside the lines. This can be tough especially when those gremlins are in the midst of a battle. It doesn’t have to be something HUGE, just something simple. How about:
~Driving with the windows down and let your hair get incredibly messy. Toss the hair tie which will keep your hair neat.
~Get a cake and take a spoonful right from the center. Go ahead, eat from the middle.
~Color outside the lines in a coloring book—make the tree trunk bright orange, the leaves purple, and paint the sky green instead of blue.
“You have to color outside the lines once in a while if you want to make it…” Albert Einstein
Just do something to push yourself outside the lines of perfection which keep you restrained.
#3 Love your life
Make the decision to love your life. Despite the challenges you may have, proclaim contentment. Remember the man I shared the story about, despite being a differently-abled person, he oozed contentment, even though he had every right to feel otherwise. You could tell he made a choice to love his life.
Perfection doesn’t validate us, it makes us invalid.
Will you challenge yourself in a new way? Will you claim to love your life so you are unconfined from the handicap of perfectionism? Share your story with us.
Have a blessed day!