Tips for a Happier Life

Let me start by saying I am NO expert…. I have good days and bad days.  Doesn’t every one?

When I see this picture I always think of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. It seems so basic but how many of us look for happiness – sometimes in the wrong places.  For me, since MS & recovery, being happy means practicing being in the moment.  Not having expectations about things and definitely not trying to fix, manage or control things.

As I was scrolling through my earlier blogs, I was reminded about a post from one of my favorite bloggers, “alwaysthinkingimfat“.  Let me share a few tips to happiness from her with you:

Find light where it was once dark: Are you a half full glass or a half empty glass kind of person?  If you are a half empty kind of person, look for something to focus on.  A small glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I know it may be hard to see BUT there is always a glimmer.  It could be the one chance to take yourself from a miserable place to some higher ground.

Reciprocate:  The bottom line is, on life’s journey it is so good to give rather than receive. Take time to notice others and give of yourself.  It will make you feel better and help make the World a better place!  Couldn’t we all use a little kindness these days.

Fuel your creative side:  You put gas in the car but do you ever fuel your creative side.  For years, I let my creative side get buried under the massive lists of  “to dos” and it made for a grumpy Hope.  Okay, so there may have been more to it but it definitely didn’t help.  LOL.  Take a minute right now to jot down some thoughts/ ideas.  Then make a plan to grab the glue gun or get the scrapbooking items out of the closet.  Better yet do it while you are thinking about it – NOW! The moments of elation and self worth will help to promote the positive and downplay the negative.

Active listening: Let’s be honest….are you ALWAYS an active listener or are you guilty of trying to figure out how to respond to what someone is saying.  I will admit it….I have been that person.  I am trying hard to practice active listening.  The truth is when you are not actively listening, you fail to give a person a chance to express themselves or share input as well as ideas. SMACK!  Who is joining me in practicing this??? 

Face your faults: Being a recovering addict and working a 12-step program has definitely helped in this area of my life.  There was a time in my life when I thought my faults made me less then.  When I hid them for fear someone may not like me.  In general, people tend to be defensive or remiss about their personal faults.  In my life, I am taking steps to say “I am not perfect and I have faults”.  But I can change or make it better, it is up to me.

Delight in success: Too many times, we fail to delight in life’s small successes.  If you lose weight you need to be happy about it and keep going.  Any loss is a loss, so celebrate!  If you set a small manageable goal and obtain it – CELEBRATE it.  Success does not have to be HUGE steps, it can be baby steps towards your goal.  Stop telling yourself you are not successful and become more self assured and confident!  I need to practice what I preach.  LOL!!!

Feed your mind and soul: Take the initiative to inspire, create and reflect.  You feed your body but what about your mind & soul!!  Take a walk to enjoy the beauty outside.  Read a book.  Listen to a podcast.  Do a craft project.  When you fill your cup, you are then able to fill others.  When your cup is empty, you have nothing to give anyone else.

Share your best tips for a happier life.  My best advice is to:  

Revel in Being You! Every day is a celebration! It is party time! Get your groove on!

Have an ThirtyOne-derful day!

Thankful Thursday: Struggling with Acceptance

Today is a difficult day…….I’m struggling with ACCEPTANCE.

After 10 years of being a Director with Thirty One, I will revert to a Senior Consultant.  WOW! I will admit I am struggling.  My ego is deflated.  My pride is hurt.  I have weathered many storms over the years fighting to keep my title.  Today I just have to have acceptance.  Could I point fingers and play the blame game?  YUP!  But the truth is life (and the inner gremlins) caused me to think I was less then when the struggles came along.  Yup!  I played the comparison game.  I dabbled in another direct sales company but my heart wasn’t really there.

Acceptance is defined as “the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group“.

Believe it or not, as welcoming as the other group was and still is – it was not where my heart was.  I missed the relationships I had built over the years with team members and customers.  I struggled to fit in playing the comparison game yet again.  My addiction & MS makes building relationships hard for me.  The double whammy has also given me double the number of inner gremlins.  They usually have me acting in fear instead of being faithful to God’s will.  When I opened my eyes, stomped on the gremlins; I was able to see God winks telling me to remain faithful to my heart during the turmoil.

Over the last 3 years through recovery, I thought I had started to accept who I am or at least think I am.  I’m usually ready to stomp the inner gremlins when they start wanting to play the comparison game.   I still worry about disappointing others.  I still worry about whether I am good enough (just not as often).  Working a 4th step and taking an inventory can be a blessing and a curse – those who know, know ❤

Not sharing my business struggles sooner as a result of PRIDE left me feeling alone.  Over the last 3 months, those secrets of inadequacy kept me sick (and on the road to losing my title)…I was afraid of what my upline would think.  Unsure if they would accept me broken and struggling yet again.  I hate being the “needy” one.  Pride and fear kept feelings stuffed away.   The inner gremlins had me convinced my time with Thirty One was over.  The reality was………my upline loves me unconditionally and when I stepped up even at the very last minute to “vomit” my feelings, they were loving and supportive.  My team has been there through the struggles too so why would I think they wouldn’t be now.

I am learning to accept what is in my life – the good, the bad and the ugly.  I am learning to accept I am wonderfully made even on my worst days.  I am learning to accept (very slowly) my struggles with MS, having faith in the fact it is all part of God’s plan.  Do I think God’s plan was for me to make a mess of my life?  NO!  I do know he has helped me through the struggles.  He accepts me for who I am – no matter what.  But can I accept me, is the real question?

I accept:

• I am a addict recovering from the disease of addition
• I am a child of God as he wraps his loving arms around me
• I am a better me today than I was yesterday
• I am open to God’s plan whatever it may be
• I am an MS warrior and I will not let it defeat me
• I am a giving, loving person who wants to make a difference

Today I have acceptance for where I am in my business and in my life.  I accept this is just a bump in the road.  I accept this will be part of my story to share with someone else who may need to hear it.  I’m not giving up.  Thirty One has been the blessing which saved me on my darkest days in more ways than I can count.  It helped me get out of credit card debt.  It helped me learn how to build relationships.  It helped me in my walk with God.  It has helped this introvert come out of her shell even when I don’t want to.  Being uncomfortable is good sometimes – in business, in recovery and in life.

Today, I am learning to thankful…Being thankful helps you get through life’s tough times, because you can easily call to mind all of the good things in your life.  Being grateful just makes you happy and being happy can help keep your mind and body healthy!

Accept who you are, without relying on outside influences.  Accept we are not perfect and it is okay.  What are you thankful for today?

Have a blessed day!

How To Get Organized and Be Happy!

From storage cubes and caddies to soft-textured bins and baskets, we have home organization solutions to help turn cluttered spaces into pleasant places to spend time working and relaxing. It doesn’t take much time at all, just a little planning and a little shopping at mythirtyone.com!

As  they say, work before pleasure, so let’s get to work and organize your home office space first.

 

Without the proper storage and organization solutions, papers supplies and other office materials can start to run rampant. Even shelves become disorganized.

 

Make your workspace wonderfully organized

Working from home is common these days for adults and kids, so make sure your workspace is clutter-free and manageable. Our home office organization solutions are a great way to set you and your family up for success.

Just a few caddies and bins can keep your office space organized and efficient. The colorful prints and personalization designs available on our storage solutions add style and personality to your desk and shelves. A fun pop of color on the wall can bring a boring space to life.

No file drawer? No problem! The Fold N’ File^®  is a portable file box specially made for holding everything from tax filings and receipts to bills and insurance forms. For kids, it’s a great place to keep all their tests and papers from school neatly organized by class and subject.

The Double Duty^® Caddy and Deluxe Double Duty^® Caddy keep office and school supplies together and at the ready. With lots of pockets and compartments, they’re the ideal storage caddies for pens, pencils, scissors, notebooks, rulers and all those desk top necessities.

Don’t cram your desk drawers full of all those office supply essentials, like little containers and boxes of paper clips, staples, tape, sticky notes and push pins – keep them in a Felt Storage Bin. These handy little storage bins don’t take up much desk or shelf space and they’re perfect for personalization with a monogram or statement.

The Your Way^® Cube and Your Way^® Rectangle provide convenient storage options for any home office environment. Ideal for storing important contracts, forms and records, or larger office needs like printer paper, computer cords and adapters, instruction manuals, reference materials and more. And when you purchase the Your Way^® Cube Lid or Your Way^® Rectangle Lid, they become stackable storage containers for all your non-disposable essentials.

Create a cozy corner just for you

If you’ve ever dreamed of having your very own room to craft, relax, read or sew but don’t have the luxury of that extra space in your home, we have a simple solution for you. So, gather up those things you love and find a corner in your house to make your own – we’ll take it from there!

That oversized chair and ottoman in the family room is a great place to put your feet up and relax, and the floor lamp next to it make it the perfect reading nook. Claim that chair for your own and create a cozy reading space! Load up all those cozy comforts in a Felt Display Bin – blanket, slippers, books, reading glasses a bottle of vino, a glass and a corkscrew – and keep it tucked away under the end table or next to the chair for easy access whenever you’re ready for your next chapter.

That sofa in the den is a quiet place the kids never use. Stake your claim and make it your personal knitting nook. Flip on the TV or the stereo and chill out as you complete your latest creation. The Felt Storage Bin with that embroidered “R” is the perfect choice to hold all your yarn and knitting needles, plus it lets everyone know this is mom’s turf now.

So, you just got into crafting. Sounds fun! Now all you need is a place to enjoy your new hobby. What about the breakfast nook in the kitchen or that swivel chair and table in the guest room? Wherever you make your creative space, be sure you’ve got everything you need ready and waiting for you when inspiration hits. The Canvas Storage Caddy is a great craft storage solution with lots of pockets around the outside and a large open space inside. Personalize it with something befitting of your new interest… how about “Craft Queen”?

Need help in organizing other areas of your home?  I’m happy to help.  We can do a virtual “product experience” where I can help you with ideas for even those most difficult areas.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Addicted to Our Thoughts…

It has been awhile since I blogged…. I didn’t know what to write.  I didn’t know if anyone actually cared. Believe it or not it was part of my addiction.  Obsessed with “my image” and what people would think.

See, addiction isn’t just about drugs or alcohol.  It is about anything which consumes us – food, people, shopping, sex, love, thoughts and so much more.  I needed to take a break.  I needed to STOP and think about what was important to me.  I needed to decide what I really wanted to do with my life on disability.  Tough decisions but things I had to think about.  Do I have all of the answers?  NOPE!

We are addicted to our thoughts.  We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.

WOW!  I don’t know about you but this quote scares the hell out of me!  Changing my thinking has been the toughest thing at age 62 with 20 months in recovery.  It is a daily process which has affected all areas of my life.  My addition shows up in some of the strangest places….Here are just a few, any of these sound like you?

1.  Comparing ourselves to everyone else, and then competing with them.

It is this kind of thinking which  started my troubles during my relapse.  The grass was always greener on the other side.  I wanted to have what I thought others had.  It is a struggle for me to remember I  don’t have to always be and do what everyone else is being and doing.  I remember my mom saying “if they jumped off a bridge, would you?”  I know that is an extreme but it is the wanting to be liked and to be like everyone else which contributed to my crazy way of thinking.

Now, I try to not compete with others.  I try to compete to be a better version of me. For some, this sounds lame.  Through recovery I am learning to not compare my outside to their picture “perfect” life because you never know what they have been going through.  I mean who doesn’t want to look good on social media or when gathering with friends? I know I am not the only one who struggles with this, right?

2.  Secretly wishing for everyone’s stamp of approval.

This is one of the hardest things as a people pleaser I deal with.  The truth is “we don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough in your own eyes.”  I know, easier said than done sometimes, right?  When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, 99% of the time it isn’t actually about us  WHAT??? You mean I am not the root of all things?  Self-centeredness is for another day.  It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs.  “Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent.   You’re allowed to think things and feel things.  You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space.  You’re allowed to hold on to the truth who you are is worthy.  And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who insists on making you feel otherwise.”  These are the things I am working on every day.

3.  Being more loving to others than we are to ourselves.

Here comes the people pleaser in me.  I want everyone to be happy, so I will make myself miserable to see it happen.  I have been told I am self-centered because of my addiction.  Truth be told “I don’t always get it”.  The result of those words though has created the struggle of being able to love myself without thinking I am self-centered.  If this is you, you are not alone.  “There’s absolutely nothing selfish about self-care.  If you don’t take good care of yourself then you can’t take good care of anyone else.  Because we can’t give what we don’t have.  Treat yourself right and you’ll be life-giving to others.”  This is one of my BIGGEST struggles.

4.  Dreaming of what could have been, or should have been.

Letting go of the shoulda, coulda, woulda is tough for me.  The inner gremlins have a field day on bad days.  Letting go and turning things over is a daily (sometimes hourly process).  I have learned (most days) before you can truly LIVE today, a part of you has to die first.  I have to let go and bury the what could have been if I never relapsed.  I (neither can you) can’t change the past, or the outcomes from our choices.  The best thing we can go is: Let go.  Forgive.  Be present and free.  Just for Today.

Are you struggling with any of these things?   You are not alone!  Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, and leave a life free of addiction (all types).  The bottom line is it’s never too late to take a step in the right direction.  It’s never too late to break free and become the person you are capable of being.  Addictions of all kinds CAN be beaten!

I’m not sure if anyone needed this but it was on my heart this morning…

Have a blessed day!

Thankful Thursday: Acceptance

Acceptance is defined as “the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group“.

For years, I didn’t feel like I fit in.  From about the age of 12, I started to stuff the feelings of inadequacy which raged in my head every day.  Fear of not fitting in.  Fear of not being good enough.  Fear of not doing the right thing.  Fear of disappointing others.  As  a result of stuffing those feelings, I developed unhealthy coping mechanisms – bulimia along with many different types of addiction (drugs, alcohol, and shopping).  It wasn’t until I entered recovery the first time, I found true acceptance from others and with myself.  I spoke my mind and felt confident.

Over the years, on the outside I accepted who I was but on the inside the inner gremlins were starting to play the comparison game.  Slowly, the “old me” who was insecure in who she was, was looking outside for acceptance.  I worried about disappointing others.  I worried about whether I was good enough.  I worried about EVERYTHING.  The truth was I didn’t like who I was becoming.  Instead of sharing the feelings with others, I stuffed them.  I didn’t want family and friends to see my struggles.  WHY? Pride.  I was afraid of what they would think.  Unsure they could or would love me for who I was.  Unsure they would accept me broken and unsure.  Pride and fear kept feelings stuffed away.

As the feelings got stuffed deeper and deeper, relapse was inevitable.  See, relapse can take on many forms.  With me, it was in shopping and credit cards.  I was trying to live up to the expectations I thought everyone had of me.  When I walked back into NA, I was broken.  I didn’t like me at all.  I didn’t like the person I had become.  I didn’t like the pain and hurt I had caused over the years to the people I loved the most.  I didn’t like the financial mess I had made of my life.

With the help of friends and the support of family, I am again accepting who I am (okay, at least trying to).  I struggle with the picture I have of who I should be.  I struggle with worrying whether I am meeting everyone’s expectations.   But I know when I turn things over, it will get better.  The tapes aren’t on replay and I can live in the moment.

I am learning to accept what is in my life – the good, the bad and the ugly.  I am learning to accept I am wonderfully made even on my worst days.  I am learning to accept (very slowly) my struggles with MS, having faith in the fact it is all part of God’s plan.  Do I think God’s plan was for me to make a mess of my life twice?  NO!  I do know he has helped me through the struggles.  He accepts me for who I am – no matter what.

I am learning to be thankful…Being thankful helps you get through life’s tough times, because you can easily call to mind all of the good things in your life.  Being grateful just makes you happy and being happy can help keep your mind and body healthy!

Accept who you are, without relying on outside influences.  Accept we are not perfect and it is okay.  What are you thankful for today?

Have a blessed day!