“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau
Last week, I had an AHA moment. A moment when the brain fog lifted and I realized that I had to stop making excuses for why a few (okay, 20) pounds were back. Yes, I could blame health issues. The truth was that I was slowly slipping back into old habits that I had BEFORE I lost 100 pounds.
Yup, that’s me and my cutie of a daughter. Mind you that picture is REALLY old but the truth is that there aren’t many pictures of me when I was heavy.
Back to the AHA moment….I needed to take control of what I could control – my eating. I was repeatedly complaining about “gaining” or not losing weight as hubby’s weight kept going down. The truth was, he was eating healthier and I was secretly eating junk! Okay, so the truth is out, now I have to be accountable.
I wanted the capris that had fit so good over the last 2 summers to again fit. I wanted the jiggle in my thighs to be gone. I wanted the puffiness in my face to be gone. There was no magic wand but there was that proverbial SMACK on the head that made me realize what I needed to do. It was at the moment that I opened my email to find an online special from Weight Watchers. I didn’t delete it, I just let it sit in my inbox. After a lot of prayer and thought, I did it! I signed up again.
It was time for me to stop beating myself up and take some of my own advice…
1. Stop comparing.
Hubby loves me not matter what – I mean when we got together, I was on the weightless journey. Over the last two years as I struggled with health issues, I was constantly comparing myself to others. I felt inferior because I hadn’t stuck to the program.
Once you stop comparing, you realize that you will always be too fat, too skinny, too tall, too this when you compare yourself to others. The comparison game will kill your dreams before you even start. Know that you are exactly what you’re supposed to be—one of a kind and beautiful.
2. Change the way you see.
Have you had experiences where people you told you how pretty (or nice you look) BUT you thought you were unattractive? I have. Where you say “thank you” and add “but I have….” negating their compliment.
Dr. Wayne Dyer often said, “When you change the way you look at things, things you look at change.” I know this is true because I often experience it in my life.
Focus on what is wonderful about you, whether it’s your kindness, generosity, or thoughtfulness. When you focus on the internal features, the external features seem to start to sparkle with radiance. It’s not that you changed—your perception did.
3. Change your thoughts.
How many times have you looked at a picture or a video of yourself and a barrage of negative self-talk dominated your thoughts? Those inner gremlins start to take over and before long they are in control.
How sad it would be if we allowed those negative voices to stop us from offering what we have to give: our knowledge, ideas, voice, gifts, our love, and more? We would be withholding these things from people who might need and benefit from them.
My Fierce Cheerleader and Abundance Coach, Eryka Peskin, has taught me how to celebrate those negative things so they no longer have control over my life. Try it. Step back and reframe those negatives into a positive.
You have so much to give (even if you feel like you don’t): your unique gifts, your experience, courage, ingenuity, creativity, and so much more. Don’t let the negative voices stop you from sharing what you have. The world (your neighbors, your friends, your grandma, or whatever your world may be) needs it.
The truth is, there will always be someone or some people who will find you undesirable or unlovable, but the world is also full of people who will feel the opposite.
Ultimately, the deeper truth you have to find within yourself is this: If no one loves me, will I love myself? YES, I will love myself.
In the moments when I don’t like what I see in the mirror, I make a choice. I make a choice to give myself total acceptance and love for all that I am: the good, the ugly, and the bad.
Will you make the choice to love yourself when you’re too short, too tall, too fat, and too skinny?
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!