I dedicate today’s blog to all of those who doubt themselves, who beat themselves up over past mistakes, who think they are inferior, or who think they will never succeed.
January has been an interesting month for me…. trying to find my passion again, setting goals than changing them, doubting myself, waiting for answers to prayers, and working on my 4th & 5th steps….Living life on life’s terms can be rough.
I want you to know you are not alone, we are in this journey together. I’m back to sharing my strengths, hopes and experiences a few times per month. I want you to remember together we can heal and become the AMAZING women God wants us to be. It won’t always be easy. It probably won’t be in our time – God works on his schedule not ours. But the important thing is – we do heal!
I am grateful for the struggles because from them I grow. I am grateful for my faith which keeps me grounded even on the toughest days. I am learning so much about myself lately and I have to admit – it can be pretty scary! It has mw wondering (and sometimes doubting) all kinds of things. I know the road may be bumpy but the end result is to be a better person tomorrow than I am today. You don’t have to have lofty goals or dreams. You don’t have to make changes immediately. Remember slow and steady wins the race. The key is to listen to those God nudges (or smacks on the head for me sometimes). Trust and believe.
This is a repost from gobigcoach:
I believe in you,
Even when you don’t.
I know you are a miracle,
Even when you forget.
I am thankful for YOUR extraordinary,
Even when you feel like you’re not enough.
Whatever you struggle with,
I know you can survive…
Whatever you resist,
I know you can allow…
Whatever you dream,
I know you can experience…
And expand into even more.
Whenever you fall and wonder if you
can get up again…
Remember, I believe in you – even when you don’t.
Don’t let fear and doubt steal the joys of each day. You are an amazing individual with gifts and talents to share with the world! You ARE extraordinary!
Welcome to the “re-launch” of my blog. For those who have been following me, you know I have struggled with what direction to go. The inner gremlins of doubt, fear and comparison reared their ugly heads. I thought I had nothing worth sharing.
TODAY, I am happy to say, I have focus again.
I changed the blog name to “Hope Inspires Change – Living Life on Life’s Terms“.
Growing up, I used to hate the jokes about my name. Kids can be cruel especially in the 60’s when it was not a common name. Now, I am embracing the emotion it creates in others. I am learning just the mention of my name can bring a smile to the face of someone who is struggle. When I introduce myself to others, I think of it as a God-wink. A chance to let them know, all things are possible if you are willing to make some small change (baby steps, right?).
So, what does it mean for my blog? I will be writing about dealing with life on life’s terms – addiction, recovery, relationships, retirement, and whatever life throws at me. I will be sharing my angels and hopefully being able to make a difference in the life of others. Really, my focus hasn’t changed much BUT the inner gremlins have been kicked to the curb. Thank you Ruth Soukup of Elite Blog Academy. If you ever considered blogging, check her out. She offers a FREE 3-day bootcamp…. Yup, I squirreled again. LOL.
At 62 (creeping on 63), I am enjoying life on life’s terms. Is it always easy? NOPE! Do I still struggle? YUP! The difference is I am learning to “let go” and have some faith mixed with a little hope. I want to share my strength, hope and experience with you. And if you need a “guardian angel”, I will have them available too!
So, if you have some inner gremlins and want to learn how I tamed them – follow me. If you are a fan of angels – follow me. If you are “old” in the eyes of others but still feel young at heart – follow me. If you need some inspiration once in awhile – follow me. You get it, right?
I’m looking forward to sharing with you all again. I would love to hear from you too on how you live life on life’s terms….
I noticed something amazing happens when you hold me up to the light…… You may see my broken places…but, you also see what makes me beautiful, because in those cracks are the stories of overcoming and standing strong. I have weathered many storms over the years.
It is because of those imperfections, I am who I am today…broken pieces and all. My scars tell my story. There was a time when I hid my scars, afraid of what others would think. My first time in recovery, I found my broken pieces were an inspiration to others. I was able to help other struggling addicts which in turn blessed me many times. Relapse made me feel as if those broken pieces should be hidden from the world. Afraid of what others would think. Comparing myself to others. I’m now learning to embrace those repeated mistakes and look at the additional cracks as more blessings.
My MS scars may be invisible to the world, but their effects are made real as I struggle to get through some days. There are days when I can’t walk more than a few steps on my own, changing the sheets on the bed is a fight, holding things in my left hand requires both hands.…but I keep fighting. I push on. I keep going. On good days, I over do then spend days resting and doing nothing. There is often a sea of tears, but I keep going.
Each of you have broken places and cracks too. Your mistakes and hurts are real, as well as your disability (if you have one), but so is your beauty. Let your beauty shine through and let your story inspire others. Just because you have cracks doesn’t mean you are worthless. Even if you are broken, you are a container of life, love, brilliance and beauty. Let those things spill out today.
Your story is in your scars and may be just what someone needs to hear in order to keep going. So, just for today I will be grateful for my scars and the cracks I have. I will stop worrying about what others think and let my light shine for all to see.
You are a diamond created by the crushing, pressing fires in life… in other words the journey.
I am no working on my 4th step which is “We made a searching and fearless morale inventory of ourselves” which is pretty damn scary. It means reflecting back on my resentments and the part I actually played in certain situations. I am reminded every day, this is to the best of my ability because my memory definitely falls short. It is a process and in order to get to the other side, I need to walk through this step.
:I will admit there are days when I look back at what used to be and wish life was different. I have even envied others who didn’t have an addiction or a disability. What? I know I can’t change the past and dwelling on it will not change the journey I am on. I know I shouldn’t think like this but thoughts happen. Some days in my head can be kinda scary. I can think of some crazy ideas and have some equally wild woe-is-me moments. Then there are days when I can’t remember anything from the past which I think is God’s way of keeping me at peace.
I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never wanted things to be different, because I have. Those thoughts seem to appear most when the struggle is at its worst. I don’t like feeling that way, but it happens. That’s just me being real.
I could let my addiction or my multiple sclerosis sour my life. I could let it cause me to become as miserable as my body feels with thoughts of what used to be and what could have been, or I could spend each day trying to become a better person. I can vaguely remember spending countless hours working on self-development – trying to change me especially where my business was concerned. The truth was I needed to rid myself of the inner gremlins which have been haunting me for years instead of just stuffing them behind a locked door. Sometimes the learning process was hard and it still is, but the lessons I have learned along the way are invaluable. I am learning asking for help is not the sign of weakness I always thought it was – it is a sign of strength. The ability to admit when we don’t know something or need help is a gift because it allows others to share with us their strength, hope and experiences.
One thing being back in recovery has taught me is to be thankful. I’m even thankful for the MS. Many people won’t have the opportunity to get through today; like the addict who will take their last drug. That is enough to make me appreciate everything I have, whether it’s pain, the inability to do something, or the lack of memories MS and addiction can throw my way. I’m thankful through it all.
Fear is real but I can overcome anything if I am willing to let go and let God. I can’t do any of this on my own – I need other addicts to walk me through recovery and I need others with MS to show me how they cope each and every day. On those bad days, I take my day and break it up into tiny chunks. Someone told me recently it’s easy to eat an elephant. STOP! No haters – Not a real elephant, but a giant obstacle you are facing. Do it one bite at a time. One step at a time which is why they are in a certain order. So I break my day up…one bite at a time. I may find things hard to swallow at times, but when I keep at it I find I’m able to get through it. That impossible elephant suddenly becomes possible.
Having a dual disability (MS and addiction) has prepared me for the rest of my life. It has given me a better perspective on what’s really important. That highly successful career I held on to for way too long, wanting a big house, craving a fancy car, and lots of material things – they are no longer a focus for me. I wonder why so many of us strive all our lives for stuff and titles? Those things don’t matter in the end. What matters is loving people and knowing you are loved. Everything could be stripped from me and I know I would make it. Okay, so I am still working on this BUT I know God would provide. Some days I wonder if other people could get through even one hour of what we with disabilities face, let alone a full day.
Living with a dual disability gave me an advantage over the rest of the world. In essence a second chance. I learning to appreciate the roses and the sunsets as well as the storm clouds and looming tsunamis. I choose to live life on my terms… not how other people think it should be done. It may appear strange to others, but I’m not trying to win an award. I just want to get through each day knowing I did the best I could with what I was given.
Whatever your life’s path…..You’ve got this. Don’t ever doubt your strength or your worth. You are a beautiful diamond. Your journey through your crushing pressing obstacles, and your fire has made you the AMAZING person you are. Now’s your time to shine!