Hope Inspires, Hope Wissel, Recovery

Anniversaries – Celebrations With Reflection

This past week I celebrated two anniversaries both filled with emotions and the struggle to remember.  Two milestones in my life which changed me forever.

On Friday, hubby and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  We have been together 18+ years BUT only married 10.  If you know our story, you get it.  🙂

I generally blog about our story BUT this year,  I want to share the gratitude I have for this man.  Our road has been a rocky one – from his commuting for 5 years, to living together to marriage.  It all seems so basic, right?  But add to it – recovery on the road to relapse, a perceived loss of independence, his congestive heart failure, my diagnosis of MS and now his retirement.  Life on life’s terms which is something I’m not really good at.  It has been a true test for both of us of our wedding vows.  He has been my rock on my most difficult days.  I have tested his patience and he has learned how to communicate just a little bit better. We have grown together in so many ways…

As we sat at dinner the other night, the subject drifted to the one question to be sure about a relationship.  I had never heard this and honestly, I was scared. But he continued saying it is “do you bring out the best of each person?”….. Of course I had to know what he thought about us because honestly my memory is awful and fear was creeping in.  My immediate reaction was to feel less than. Not worthy of his unconditional love.  Instead of blurting things out, I prayed to be quiet while he finished.  He said “our life has been a balance –  sometimes we have brought out the best in each other while there are times, we have brought out the worst.  He said it is life but the true test is how you get through it.  We have made it.  WOW!  I didn’t get defensive.  I didn’t try to over analyze.  I just was grateful I kept my mouth SHUT and for how far we have both come. I may have already forgotten much of the night, I pray his words about our life together stay with me forever.

Jump ahead to Saturday and another celebration…. WE HAVE 3 YEARS!  I look back on where I was three years ago… a hot mess on the verge of losing my hubby, a mound of credit card debt, a victim mentality while I isolated feeling less than everyone else, broken emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Appearing confident (often cocky) on the outside while a scared child on the inside.  I had walked this road before and relapse became part of my story.  I had let down my family, my friends but most of all I had let myself down.  The strong confident person was gone.  What was left was a broken, shell of my former self.  Sadly, I didn’t notice it – I thought I hid it well.  I blamed everyone else for what was wrong in my life when the only one who was to blame was me.

As I sit here writing, unable to feel anything but sadness (MS seems to play with my emotions as well as taken my memories) I struggle to remember how bad it was.  Not just this time but the first time (my first clean date was 10/26/91).  Hubby often says, God took the memories because it was too unbearable for me to remember.  God gives me glimpses at times but when it becomes overwhelming for me, they fade and only segments remain.  So instead of struggling to remember, I try each day to be a better person than I was yesterday. Does it always work? NOPE!  I know with God’s help, it will.  I continue to go to meetings – I need to hear the struggles, I need to share my blind faith, I need to be surrounded by people who have been where I have been and I need to remember  “never” should not be part of my vocabulary.

Today, the credit card debt is paid off.  Today, I am trying to connect with local women in recovery.  Today, I accept I am an introvert but it does not mean I need to isolate.  Today, I know my ride & die gals who have been with me since the first night 3 years ago are just a phone call away.  Just for today, I like myself.  Today, I don’t beat myself up over the weight or how I think “I should look”.  My life is blessed in so many ways.  Yes, MS kicks my butt BUT it is not an excuse to go back to those old destructive behaviors.  Living life on life’s terms is not always easy but WE do recovery together.

Thank you to everyone who has walked these many roads with us.  We are grateful for the part you have played and continued to play in our lives.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

A Plan for 2015

Holidays on a Thursday make getting up and doing anything on Friday SOOOO hard.  Some of you may be enjoying the luxury of staying in bed a little longer but I am off to my JOB.  I actually don’t mind my day job – I mean it is only 3 days a week.  Sorry, I squirreled for a minute!!!  No, that is not the plan for 2015!!!

I am actually excited about 2015 and my Thirty One business.  The new Jewell but Thirty One purse line is AWESOME.  There are more exciting things coming in March with the new JK by Thirty One.  I mean who wouldn’t be excited, right?

The TWO main things that will make 2015 different for me are:

1.  I am continue to heal and release my baggage of the past.  My counselor/ life coach has been a HUGE help.  I actually am starting to like myself which translates to feeling confident which translates to  growing my business and a healthier marriage.  Yes, a big jump but that is how I feel this morning.

2.  I have a plan for this year.  Not just on paper but one that I started to implement as I was working on it.  A plan with “achievements” set and even starting working some steps to achieve them

JulieAnn Jones says that there are 3 KEY steps to a successful plan:

My word for 2015 is TRUST.  Check out yesterday’s blog to read all about it.

I never really thought of my word for the year as this: “This is, essentially, the one word that would define you without any of the other markers you normally use to define you (“who” would you be without any possessions, business, spouse, children, family, pets, etc. Just you, in your body, standing where you are right now. Who are you?)”  

Based on the description above do you see me?

It seems odd that “Identify your core values” had me a little stuck.  These are the values that truly define who you are and what you must have in your life to feel fulfilled and happy and like life is worth living.  Shouldn’t everyone know what their core values are?  Before I have to hit the reset button and kick Negative Nellie to the curb – I realize that it is because I am finding ME again.  The person that seemed to be lost so many years ago.

Just for today, they are: Fun, Generous, Resourceful, Independence and Spirituality.

So, I thought that having a WORD for the year was enough but according to JulieAnn, you need a THEME too.  UGH!   This is an over-riding phrase, feeling, picture, or song for the year.

Mine is “Girls Just Want to have FUN.”

Okay so the theme may be a little retro but this is firth THEME that popped into my head. Not sure if it goes with my WORD of the year but maybe it really doesn’t have to be linked together.

In the bigger picture of 2015, I want to “trust” in the process of direct sales basics of book, sell, recruit.  I want my hostesses and customers to have fun so that they WANT to party with me again.  I, myself,  want to have FUN recapturing the passion and excitement of every day without the access baggage of the past.

What is YOUR plan for 2015?  Do you have a WORD or a THEME?  Share it below or go to my Facebook page and leave it there.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

#trust #partywithHope #thirtyone #theme #girlswanttohavefun #fun #generous, #resourceful #independence #spirituality