“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Franklin Roosevelt
A new month. A NEW catalog season. A new beginning. Time to reflect on July. July was a tough month for me not because of my business – personal sales volume met as well as team numbers. I was blessed to head to National Conference to enjoy the pink bubble with my Thirty One sisters. So why was it a tough month???
I got sucked into the vortex of social media and the comparison gremlins started a new battle of whether I was a success. As I scrolled through Instagram and Facebook, I saw countless celebrations of success. I was happy for them because they had worked hard and deserved it. The realization hit me that I really didn’t do my best.
What started out innocently enough, in no time at all, had me sucked into the wormhole of comparison. By the time I emerged, I felt like crap. I was JEALOUS with a capital “J.” Yes, I said it! In my heart, I knew that I couldn’t compare where I was to where they were – so many things were different but those inner gremlins were having a field day.
Others had more followers. More likes. Better websites. Better pictures. Better programs. Better style. Better everything.
The question then became “What am I doing with my life?”. Part of me wanted to start a “pity party” because I was in full on green-eyed monster mode. I know that I’m not alone.
Research shows that people have an innate drive to evaluate themselves, often in comparison to others. People are as harshest critique and the one way we do this is through social comparison.
Two recent studies found that people on Facebook frequently have lower self-esteem than those who use Facebook less or not at all. Chronic Facebook users experience mostly negative impact from comparing themselves to others who are “better” than them.
As I look back on how I reacted to the social media black hole and jumped back into the real world, my jealousy got me thinking.
What if, instead of comparing myself to those I thought were “better”, I flipped the script and let comparison be an example of what’s possible?
If you’re naturally prone to comparing, what if you used comparison as a form of motivation? Want to exercise your green-eyed monster demons with me? Here are a few tips:
1. Eliminating social media totally isn’t a reality for may of us, BUT try to minimize the time you spend on any social media platform. Research says Americans check their social media 17 times per day. I bet we can get that number down.
2. Remember that most people are posting their most polished, shiny, and filtered part of their life.
3. Still feeling the urge to scroll and feel less than worthy because of it? Take a look at what you’re feeling. Dig deep because the reason isn’t usually on the surface. Take the ick out of jealousy and look at it as a tool to help you figure out what you would like more of in your life.
4. Look at the person you envy and ask yourself, how am I like this person? When you see how you are like that person, you can see their success as a real possibility for you.
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” -Jon Acuff
This is my favorite saying and often hard to remember. Reflect on where you’re at in your journey. Many times, we are comparing our beginning to someone else’s years of experience. We missed out on all of the hard work, time, and dedication that went behind the picture or post we’re seeing today.
How can you honor where you’re at in your life? How can you use this knowledge as inspiration for what’s possible for you when you reach your “middle”? I’d love to hear from you! How do you handle comparison?
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!