Addiction Shows Up in Unlikely Places

I don’t know about you but the more time I spend with me, the more the “past” haunts me.  During these “stay at home” times, most nights I’m by myself since hubby is an essential employee.  Despite my best efforts, the inner gremlins of the past creep in.  I think about those I have hurt.  I think about the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” things.  I think about “what if”.  Not always a good place for a recovering addict.

I love this simple message:

“Don’t Stumble On Things That Are Behind You.”

I thought hard about this seemingly simple directive about a habit which trips so many of us up: looking back. Allowing the past to deter and diminish our present and our future.

I had an “epiphany” last night.  As I was thanking God for the blessings of the day and asking for his guidance, I realized I had again substituted one thing for another.  My addiction had shown up in an unlikely spot –  not really unlikely for me. Showing up in unlikely places is not uncommon for addicts if we don’t keep things in check.  No, I didn’t have thoughts of using drugs or drinking.  No, I didn’t go on a shopping spree.  I was eating “junk food” and hiding it.  Crazy, right?

I thought about the went last 5 days hubby had worked.  I went to pick up some groceries and here is what happened.

• I stopped to Dunkin for my iced green tea.   It was Friday so I got a “free” donut”. I was out a second time on Friday to pick up Baby’s medicine.  Stopped at Dunkin again and got another “free” donut.
• Went to Aldi’s for some fresh fruit and fresh veggies – a good thing, right?  They had Cadbury mini eggs on sale.  I have been obsessing over them for a week so I bought a whole bag along with a bag of Robin’s Eggs.
• Stopped to Wawa and picked up bottles of Wawa diet tea. Not very healthy because of all of the artificial sweeteners.
• Had to stop myself yesterday from going out just to get a Dunkin tea and a donut.

Each time I go on a shopping run, I end up buying something I normally would not eat or drink.  WHY???  I want what I want when I want it.  LOL. The crazy part is I was hiding all of this stuff from hubby.  I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal BUT it is how it starts, right?  Substitute one thing for another and keeping secrets.

I know I am only as sick as my secrets so I am letting them into the light….I’m sharing it publicly as a way to be accountable.  As harmless as it may seem to someone, it is the start of the spiral.   I beat myself up.  I start to justify things with “I haven’t gained any weight”, or “it is stress eating” or when this is over I will do better.  The truth is by then it will be too late…..the weight will be back and I will be miserable.  I have been riding the stationary bike every day for at least 20 minutes which has helped to keep me from gaining weight BUT it doesn’t justify the sneak eating.  This is an old behavior from my days of being a bulimic – the only difference is, I’m not purging.

I know I’m not alone….finding things to keep us busy and out of our heads can be tough.  I have been creating angels, reading, sewing and cleaning out closets.  I have been doing at least one video meeting a day – over the weekend it was 3 meetings a day.  WHY?  Because I know when I hear what others share, I am out of my head and I know I am not alone.

Today I am giving myself grace – it meets us in the asking for strength from our Higher Power.  Because of this I can move forward (and so can you) in His grace. Even when life is complicated and messy.

It’s not about locking things in a secret compartment of your heart. When we turn things over, no matter how insignificant it may seem to our Higher Power, He can give us the rest we long for. Healing for our heart wounds.

The reward of faith is freedom in our Higher Power. With this faith, the past has no hold on us.  Grace fixes our gaze forward.

So the next time I’m tempted to beat myself up because of a mistake, I will turn things over to my Higher Power and choose not to beat myself up, not to re-hash a painful conversation, not to blame another person … not to stumble on things behind me.

Instead I will reach for grace. I will reach for my Higher Power and call to Him for help.

This seems like a jumble of thoughts but I need to be accountable.  Are you struggling with keeping away from the “junk food”?  What are your best tips?  Share them with us..

Have a blessed day!

Tasty Tuesday: Kids’ Snack Ideas

Are your kids involved in team sports?  There are lots of  responsibilities: uniforms, transportation, practices, equipment and – of course – team snacks. Whether it’s tee ball, soccer, football, cheerleading, hockey, volleyball, field hockey or lacrosse, someone has to bring snacks to those all-day tournaments and extra-long practices. Some times it is for the whole team and some times it is just for your kid…..

Never fear! Here are some practical and creative solutions for you to try to make you parent of the year in the eyes of your kids – or at the very least, parent of the week in the eyes of the team.

Healthy snack ideas

It may be tempting to bring treats the kids will love like cookies, chips and soda, BUT you might not get high marks on the nutrition front from the coach or the other kids’ parents. Don’t be known as the “junk food” mom or dad when there are plenty of healthy, delicious snacks the team can enjoy. The idea is to keep them energized during the day, not give them sugary treats that will cause them to crash later on. These healthy options will keep little athletes going strong!

• orange slices
• bananas
• apple slices
• disposable cups filled with berries
• mini boxes of raisins
• grapes
• small bags of carrot sticks
• fruit kebabs on wooden skewers
• watermelon slices
• cucumber slices
• sunflower seeds
• celery sticks with cream cheese
• squeeze-pouch applesauce
• pumpkin seeds
• string cheese
• pretzels

If you want a little variety to your treats, consider creating little sandwich baggy packs or plastic containers with a little bit of everything. Mix berries, grapes, apple slices, cucumber slices and carrot sticks in individual baggies or containers – one for each child. With individual servings, the kids can eat as much as they want and then come back for more later. (Just make sure to bring along a permanent marker to write their names.)

Of course, if you bring fresh fruit or veggie snacks, you’ll want to keep them cool for the long haul, so we recommend packing them up in a roomy insulated cooler that can hold ice. The Fresh Market^® Thermaland our Tote-ally Thermal are perfect options due to their larger size and Leak-Lock^® water-resistant thermal lining that allows for loose ice.

Fresh Market® Thermal

• water-resistant Leak-Lock^® lining allows for ice
• sides unsnap for additional space
• exterior flat pocket holds utensils and more
• zip closure

Tote-ally Thermal

 

• water-resistant Leak-Lock^® lining allows for ice
• exterior flat pocket holds utensils, etc.
• extended straps for easy transport
• zip closure

Team tip: Personalize your favorite family thermal with your child’s sport in his or her team colors. Choose from icons for sports teams, band, hobbies and more in our Personalization Studio. Don’t forget to add your team’s or school’s name for extra spirit!

Creative snack ideas

Now, if you really want to go for the parent-of-the-year award, these fun ideas just might get you there. Your kids and their teammates will love these creative treats that are not only fun to make and look at, but nutritious to eat as well. Click on each treat for directions on how to make them.

• Mango Hedgehogs
• Butterfly Snack Bags
• Fresh Fruit Pops
• Spinach and Turkey Pinwheels
• PB&J Smoothies
• Fruity Peanut Butter Pitas

Healthy drink ideas

Aside from the snacks, make sure your kids teammates have plenty to drink to stay hydrated. Be sure to avoid sugary beverages like soft drinks, fruit punches and sports drinks that are often loaded with sugar and sodium. Here are a few healthy options to consider.

• Bottled water (minis are particularly nice)
• Fruit juice boxes or pouches
• Coconut water or sweet chia water
• Homemade iced tea with lemon
• Homemade lemonade with agave juice instead of sugar

Things to remember

Be conscious of food allergies. Things like nuts, gluten and dairy can keep a kid on the team from getting his or her snack. Check with the coach or other parents to make sure there aren’t any allergies to what you decide to bring.

Consider making extras. Oftentimes, your kids’ teammates will have younger brothers or sisters in attendance who also want to have a snack. Although it’s not your responsibility, it is a nice gesture to make a few extra snacks in case the need arises.

Don’t overdo it. You don’t need to provide the team with a meal. Keep it simple and nutritious without filling them up too much. You don’t want to ruin their lunch or dinner!

There’s nothing wrong with pre-packaged. Some parents may feel a bit uneasy about homemade food and any allergens or germs their kids may encounter. Pre-packaged items like apple slices, carrots, applesauce and nut butters may be the best route. It all depends on how well you know the other parents and your own comfort level. Find out what other parents provide. Pre-packaged doesn’t have to mean unhealthy.

Don’t forget the extras. Be sure to provide napkins, plastic wear, garbage bags and plates as necessary. Sanitary wipes are also a good idea if bathroom facilities are sub-par or far away from the playing field.

What is YOUR kids’ favorite snack?  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!