What is Your Recipe for Life?

The month of May was busy with celebrations and A LOT of reflecting on the past.  Hitting the milestone of 65 and celebrating 4 years was HUGE for me.  I am amazed at how much my mindset has changed over the last 3 years…

On the days I least expect it, I am reminded of the importance of changing your mindset in all areas of your life especially during those woe is me days.  You know, the days we sit on the “pity pot” focusing on the negative instead of counting our blessings.  These kind of days are fewer and far between since I have been working on the steps and me.  They still come but today I have tools to keep them from lasting too long.

It is usually someone around me who notices the negative mindset or the “attitude” long before I do.  Today, I very seldom wait for the third duck before I start looking at whether or not I need to change my mindset.  Let me explain…When I was in rehab back in 1991 (yup this is one thing that has always stuck with me), I remember a saying something like this: If one person calls you a duck – you can toss it aside, if two people call you a duck – it deserves some consideration but if three people call you a duck – you MUST be a duck!”  Have you ever heard this?

Do you need to change your mindset? Do you need to train your brain  to think positively?  Here are a few tips to help you:

• Believe in yourself – remind yourself daily how awesome you are.
• Empower yourself – remind yourself you always have choices.
• Believe in the impossible – remind yourself anything is possible.
• Look for the good – remind yourself to reframe situations using the tools above.

I will admit, this is a struggle for me some days when new situations trigger old memories, the old behaviors want to come out.  I am learning to STOP 🛑 for a moment, usually saying the Serenity Prayer and then move forward.  I look at how far I have come and remember, feelings pass unless I want to hold on to them and dwell in the muck.

Focusing on the good things in my life and practicing gratitude is a big help.  Surrounding myself with positive people instead of the Negative Nellies is key too.  Maybe this will help you in changing your mindset or counting your blessings:

Begin with a case of Joy

Add a heaping spoonful of Gratitude

Fold in a large dollop of Kindness

Stir in a handful of Forgiveness

Sprinkle liberally with Love and cover with Peace

Always serve with a large side of Faith

(Author unknown)

 

What is your recipe for life?  Have an Epic day!

How To Make the Most Of Thanksgiving

As I start thinking about Thanksgiving, I am filled with A LOT of mixed emotions.  Growing up, it was a day filled with football games (Neptune vs Asbury), family and lots of food.  Then, life changed and I don’t really remember much of the time between family gatherings and being a mom.  I know we celebrated but they are some of the memories lost in my brain.  Then came Belinda and recovery.  Reuniting with my dad and the other side of the family.  Thanksgiving was one of the two holidays which were “dad” holidays.  This year, is filled with LOTS of emotions.  I am celebrating eighteen months clean and blessed to be having TWO thanksgivings.  Hubby took Wednesday off so we will celebrate with mom on Wednesday and then Thanksgiving Day with Patti and the crew.  I’m sure I will cry lots of tears.  Sad Belinda will again not be home for the holidays and for those who are no longer with us (definitely going to miss Dad’s mashed potatoes.)

The best advice I can give it to take time out to truly appreciate this special day of thanks.  Here are some tips to make this year’s Thanksgiving the most festive and fun-filled yet.

1. Plan ahead for the day you want

It sounds simple, but your ideal holiday won’t materialize unless you make it happen. Maybe you envision a formal Thanksgiving dinner complete with centerpieces, nameplates and an elegant menu. If that’s your plan, spell it out ahead of time. If you want potluck, paper plates, jeans and football, plan it and let people know. Share your desires openly with family, i.e. “I hope you will stay all day so we can have lots of time together”—to create the day you want.

2. Think about timing

It may sound like a no-brainer, but the timing of your dinner can impact the entire day. If you call your mealtime too early, you might get stressed with the-time crunch of meal prep (unless you’ve done most of it in the days before). Some like to eat later in order to enjoy appetizers and the anticipation of the holiday meal all day. Or maybe you have guests who are going to be glued to a particular football game during the day. Growing up dinner was always at 5PM, it gave everyone time to get home from the game, rest and be ready to eat since mom-mom very seldom let us in the kitchen to help (or at least I don’t remember her letting us).  Be sure to consider all of these variables and plan accordingly.

3. Relax your expectations

When I have company, this is the toughest thing for me to do!  Without dwelling on it, acknowledge something will likely go wrong with your day, but that’s OK. A quirky uncle might say something, well, quirky. Someone might not show up who said they would. If you want to have the best possible holiday, roll with the punches. (Rest assured: No one’s Thanksgiving is perfect.)

4. Set up a kids’ table

LOL.  A random memory of when we had family dinners at our house.  The kids table was ALWAYS in the kitchen but close enough to the dining room.  I know this isn’t the kin of table they are talking about but it was a great random memory.  How about letting the kids help make construction-paper place mats for their special table. It’s fun for kids to eat away from the adults, and you are likely to hear lots of giggles, too.  We still have two tables when we eat Thanksgiving – one in the dining room and one in the kitchen.  Unfortunately, there aren’t many little ones (yet) to have kids and adults at separate tables.

5. Take a moment to observe

Take a moment during the festivities to stop doing and just notice what is happening all around you. Watch your family as an observer; what do you see? When we stop scurrying around in host (or guest) mode, we can absorb our blessings: family, friends, a nice home, good food, our health, a break from work, laughter and more. When you stop to pay attention, we enjoy the day more fully and create vivid memories.  This has been one of the greatest gifts of recovery…. being present in the moment!

6. Take a walk

So much food, so many people, so much indoor time—you could really use a little fresh air to slow your day down and take a moment to breathe in the crisp air. Walking after a big meal wakes you up and helps you digest. Even if it’s cold, bundle up and enjoy your holiday with a brisk walk.

7. Don’t clean up right away

Thanksgiving dinner can take hours to prepare, and if you start cleaning up as soon as your meal is finished, when do you actually get to enjoy it? Cleaning up also can send the unintended message it’s time for guests to stop conversing and start helping or even leave. Enjoy the conversation fully before you pick up all the plates. Consider having dessert an hour or more after dinner to encourage family members and friends to relax, connect and stick around for a while.

8. Remember what the day is about

It’s isn’t just turkey, football and pies. Thanksgiving is truly about coming together as a family to give thanks. Focus on your blessings, and your own happiness and appreciation will infuse your holiday and guests with joy.

Share your favorite Thanksgiving memory with us…. Have a blessed day!