Do You Make a BAD First Impression?

Over the years, I have learned to let my sparkle shine but sometimes the shine is tarnished. I used to worry about what people thought – what their first impression was of me.  When working in the corporate world, I dressed and acted to fit the part.  When I worked in the non-profit world as a social worker, first impressions were the key to success when working with new clients. Despite how uncomfortable I was, I played a role in the hopes of making a good first impression.  Sometimes it worked and sometimes they saw right through the facade.

Now I have my own business and I am so grateful the business world is more relaxed because it really fits my style.  Even though I find most people will accept you for your inner beauty and not the outward appearance, there are still people who make judgments based on first impressions. I love the advice of one of my favorite business coaches – Vanessa Coppes:

Being the kind of person YOU want to do business with is a karmic synergy. You’ll be more likely to attract more like-minded people to you and your business.

People who may be looking to partner, hire, or buy from you will carefully dissect you, specially if they are looking to engage and do business with you.

It’s what I am sure you’ve heard of: The KLT Factor (Know, Like, and Trust Factor).

So what do you do? Being in direct sales, I feel like I am always making a first impression – a walking billboard for my business.  So, here are some things I try to keep in mind whenever I leave the house.  These are my top pet peeves, what about you?

Inappropriate Attire.

Running to the store, or out with the kids – sweatpants, yoga pants, something comfy is all okay.  I mean we have lives besides our business, right?  Be careful not to wear something too revealing because you will get attention, but not the kind you want.  Business casual works great for meetings, home parties, networking and so much more. Not sure what “business casual” looks like for you?  Find a style which suits your personality.

I tend to say I am “shabby chic” but I’m never quite sure what it means except I’m not a fashionista.  I’m a jeans girl and yes, they do work 95% of the time with a nice shirt and shoes.  You should pick a style that fits you and your industry.  Your clothes should be clean and neat. There is a difference between intentional business casual versus someone who doesn’t wash or iron their clothes.

Excessive texting.

Are you one of those people who is addicted to your phone?  I’m learning to put the phone down and walk away.  Honestly, what did we do before cell phones?  Yes, I do remember those days!  I have always said there isn’t a purse emergency so why I am so obsessed.  It is definitely one of those addictive personality traits.  “Do Not Disturb” has become my friend on my phone.

Did you know if you can’t stop looking at your phone, or responding, you will send a signal you find no one more important than yourself? YIKES!  Is that the impression you want to give to others?  Being present in the moment has more value than you believe.

Body Language (Proverbial Eye Rolling).

This is one I have to work on CONSTANTLY!  My face is an open book to what I am thinking which is not a good thing in any relationship but extremely difficult in business.  Crossed arms show you are not open to what they are saying.  Multi-tasking when talking to someone is just plain rude!  Everyone wants to feel important and appreciated. Saying “what” or “I didn’t hear you” shows your disinterest.  “Be the type of person you want to meet and take a reciprocal approach. Be the first to offer your focused attention.”

Half Full or Half Empty

I am generally a positive person.  Yes, I have those days, we all do BUT when I am having one of them, I try to limit my people contact.  Did you know if you always see the glass as half empty, you are projecting you are a difficult and dissatisfied human being? Who want to do business with some who is always unhappy?  Change your mindset and see the glass as half full.  Happiness IS a choice.

The bottom line is you want to be the type of person you want to meet.  Remember the Law of Attraction….. we draw the people and business to us when we speak into the Universe.  What or who are you attracting?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Throwback: Loving Yourself When Your Too….

This post first appeared on June 30th, 2016…

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Last week, I had an AHA moment.  A moment when the brain fog lifted and I realized I had to stop making excuses for why a few (okay, 20) pounds were back.  Yes, I could blame health issues.  The truth was I was slowly slipping back into old habits I had BEFORE I lost 100 pounds.

Yup, me and my cutie of a daughter (she hates this picture). It is REALLY old but the truth is there aren’t many pictures of me when I was heavy.

Back to the AHA moment….I needed to take control of what I could control – my eating. I was repeatedly complaining about “gaining” or not losing weight as hubby’s weight kept going down.  The truth was, he was eating healthier and I was secretly eating junk! Okay, so the truth is out, now I have to be accountable.

I wanted the capris which fit so good over the last 2 summers to again fit.  I wanted the jiggle in my thighs to be gone.  I wanted the puffiness in my face to be gone.  There was no magic wand but there was the proverbial SMACK on the head which made me realize what I needed to do.  It was at the moment I opened my email to find an online special from Weight Watchers.  I didn’t delete it, I just let it sit in my inbox.  After a lot of prayer and thought, I did it!  I signed up again.

It was time for me to stop beating myself up and take some of my own advice…

1. Stop comparing.

Hubby loves me not matter what – I mean when we got together, I was on the weightless journey.  Over the last two years as I struggled with health issues, I was constantly comparing myself to others. I felt inferior because I hadn’t stuck to the program.

Once you stop comparing, you realize you will always be too fat, too skinny, too tall, too this when you compare yourself to others.  The comparison game will kill your dreams before you even start. Know you are exactly what you’re supposed to be—one of a kind and beautiful.

2. Change the way you see.

Have you had experiences where people you told you how pretty (or nice you look) BUT you thought you were unattractive? I have.  Where you say “thank you” and add “but I have….” negating their compliment.

Dr. Wayne Dyer often said, “When you change the way you look at things, things you look at change.” I know this is true because I often experience it in my life.

Focus on what is wonderful about you, whether it’s your kindness, generosity, or thoughtfulness.  When you focus on the internal features, the external features seem to start to sparkle with radiance.  It’s not that you changed—your perception did.

3. Change your thoughts.

How many times have you looked at a picture or a video of yourself and a barrage of negative self-talk dominated your thoughts? Those inner gremlins start to take over and before long they are in control.

How sad it would be if we allowed those negative voices to stop us from offering what we have to give: our knowledge, ideas, voice, gifts, our love, and more? We would be withholding these things from people who might need and benefit from them.

My Fierce Cheerleader and Abundance Coach, Eryka Peskin, has taught me how to celebrate those negative things so they no longer have control over my life.  Try it.  Step back and reframe those negatives into a positive.

You have so much to give (even if you feel like you don’t): your unique gifts, your experience, courage, ingenuity, creativity, and so much more. Don’t let the negative voices stop you from sharing what you have. The world (your neighbors, your friends, your grandma, or whatever your world may be) needs it.

The truth is, there will always be someone or some people who will find you undesirable or unlovable, but the world is also full of people who will feel the opposite.

Ultimately, the deeper truth you have to find within yourself is this: If no one loves me, will I love myself?  YES, I will love myself.

In the moments when I don’t like what I see in the mirror, I make a choice. I make a choice to give myself total acceptance and love for all that I am: the good, the ugly, and the bad.

Will you make the choice to love yourself when you’re too short, too tall, too fat, and too skinny?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

On My Way…..NOT!

Today’s blog post has been re-written many times.  First filled with the excitement of earning the Leadership Incentive trip and heading on a FREE cruise with my daughter.  Then it was about the delayed cruise and spending some time in NC with Belinda.  This morning, I am re-writing again…

The Leadership Incentive Trip has officially been cancelled. Irma entered our lives and changed everything!  No, I don’t mean the cute clothes from LuLa Roe.  I mean the devastating hurricane which is leaving its mark every where it lands.  Devastating the Carribean as it makes it way to Florida and the US.  

I will admit, I had a pity party last night.  I long for some quality time with my daughter but sadly if Irma continues on the projected track, they will be in its path.  I have weathered many a hurricane but at the ripe old age of 60, I decided staying home was probably a better idea.  

Since the blog posts are already written for the next week while I was supposed to be traveling, I will still be sharing some of my top bog posts from the past.  Some may be tweaked but others will just be “throwbacks” of my most popular ones.  I have been reflecting on the earning period for the Leadership Incentive trip and why I was successful this time when I hadn’t been in the past.

If you are trying to change an aspect of your life, here are some tips which helped me – thank you Patty Lennon

1. Decide to succeed.

There is a goal you are striving for right now which is deeply personal and vital to you. Remove the possibility of NOT succeeding from your mind right now. This means each time you fall down, you get back up because any failure is temporary.  I will say, utilizing this mindset every month has helped me reach my monthly goals even during the dreaded “J” months.

I wanted to earn this trip as a gift for hubby for our 5th wedding anniversary.  I wanted him to experience my “pink bubble” so he would understand why it is so important to me.  So, in my mind success became inevitable. I was no longer willing to NOT succeed. Which leads to …

2. Get Support.

When you are reaching for a goal you have not achieved before whether it’s growing your business to a new level, changing your health or improving your relationships you will do far better if you have help.  Who can support you in achieving your goal?

I have been sharing my monthly goals with everyone – my team, my customers and basically anyone who would listen. They celebrated and encouraged me every step of the way.  When Negative Nellie stopped for a visit, I looked for someone to help me kick her to the curb.

3. Don’t Give Up.

Whatever goal is most important to you right now it is critical you not give up, especially if the goal is related to your business. The truth is most things fail the first time  around especially in business – whether it’s a new message, promotion or marketing campaign. It is NORMAL.  Everyone falls down. Your choice (and the choice which defines those who succeed) is whether you get back up.  Everything is possible when you make the decision to succeed. No matter what happens do not give up!

With my first LIT earned, what is next for me and my business?  I will admit planning for September has been a struggle.  A holiday weekend led into getting ready for a week away.  I was hoping earning the trip would keep me motivated but the truth is, Vacation Veronica is knocked on my door. As I ponder what to do this week, I am setting my goal for September and am working on a plan to earn the Leadership Incentive Trip again next year.

Using these tips has helped me in my business so I am I am going to apply them to my weight loss journey to see what happens.  I am just 7 pounds away from being back at goal weight so it is non-negotiable.  I want to celebrate reaching my goal and not look back.

The truth is “the Divine will light your path with miracles to make it easier as you go.”  Send your positive energy into the Universe.  What is your goal?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

5 Habits to Improve Your Quality of Life

Yes, it is Wednesday and it is time to focus on YOU!

If you are like me, you are bombarded with “stuff” from the time you start your day.   From e-mail, television, interruptions or requests, something is constantly vying for your attention. What’s the result? The best laid plans for the day are tossed by the wayside and by the end the day, I am left wondering where the time went.  I get it – it’s life, some days are better than others.

The problem is that when it becomes the norm, it can leave you frustrated, scattered and ineffective. I don’t know about you but when I am feeling that way all of the time – there is  chronic stress and a lack of fulfillment, a low level of happiness and my physical health is a mess.  An unhappy momma (or wife) does not make for a happy household, right?

Did you know that what you do FIRST makes all the difference in the world to your day? Do you want to be more productive? Do you want to increase your energy level when your plate is full?

It’s all about what you choose to do first.  What you do the first 30 minutes you’re awake, the first 30 minutes at work, and with the first portion of your income ensures that no matter how overloaded you are, your most important priorities will not be lost in a sea of distractions. When you do the things that are most important to you first, you free up energy for everything else on your list. Be intentional. Make it easy to accomplish “first things first.” Make them automatic.

Here are five simple things you can do “first” to improve your quality of life right now:

1. Tackle the looming project.

Maybe it is a report you need to finish, a meeting you need to have, or a project waiting for your attention – get started early in the day.  Block out the time – whether it’s 15 minutes or four hours – and DO IT!  Believe it or not, once that is done, you’ll have more energy because that burden is lifted.

2. Connect with loved ones.

Start the day with a kiss, a hug, or a phone call to someone who matters to you. These are the things that tend to get lost when our schedules get busy.  Instead of letting these loving gestures diminish. we need to increase them! Staying connected to others is one of the most important ingredients for well-being.  I have even found that when I take a break and spend at least 30 minutes with hubby (no distractions) before he goes to work, I am way more productive.

3. Drink a bottle of water

First thing in the morning, before you even put your feet on the ground, drink a bottle of water. Sit it by your bed before you go to sleep. Drinking water first thing in the morning gets your system moving and your metabolism kicking.

4. Meditate on what you are grateful for.

While drinking that bottle of water, why not think about all of the things that are good in your life. “Whatever things are good, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of a good report, think on these things,” the apostle Paul wrote.  Research shows that expressing gratitude has health benefits and meditation actually changes your brain chemistry for the better. So first thing in the morning, pray a prayer of gratitude.  This will also keep start the Law of Attraction for the day.

5. Save some money and give some away.

For some you are already letting the negative inner gremlins rear their heads, right?  This is a tough one for many.  The truth is that if we don’t give or save money when it first comes in, you’ll rarely have much left over to do. But somehow, when you give first and save first, your spending becomes aligned with your goals. That’s because you’ve made your goal – saving and giving – your top priority. Set up automatic debits from your paycheck or checking account so you don’t even have to think about it!  This was a tough one for me too!  The truth is that when I set up the auto debits from my checking account, it happens and then I don’t think about the money in the savings account.  Start with $5 once a month but start.

I challenge you to put first things first. See what a difference it makes for you and then share it with us.  What priority is not first on your list of actions today?  I can’t wait to hear from you…

Have a ThirtyOne-deful day!

 

 

What Do You WANT?

It is Monday morning……

• Are you dragging yourself out of bed to start your week? OR are you looking forward to the week ahead.
• What do you WANT out of today?
• When you put your head on your pillow tonight…what would you like to have FINISHED?
• What PROGRESS could you make on your goals today?

I am blessed with no “brain fog” this morning.  I may still move a little slower getting out of but I am ready to start the week.  What about you?

I had the pleasure of meeting Traci Bild at Mom Grows a Business Conference a few years ago.   Traci was also a guest speaker at Thirty One’s National Conference that same year.  Traci’s message seemed to go in one ear and out the other.

A few days ago, her video popped up (a God wink, I am sure). Obviously, God has a message that I needed to hear which is why she keeps showing up in my life.  I am thinking that there is someone else out there that could stand to hear the message too.  Click the link and take just 45 minutes to listen to the video! I have been soaking up like a sponge her daily words of inspiration – check her out on Facebook.  The first thing that hit me with a SMACK was the importance of not just setting business goals but also setting personal goals. It makes sense, right?  We have set business goals all of our life but when was the last time you wrote down a goal for your personal life?  Think about the things that matter most to you then write a goal with 3 action steps.

I have said it a zillion times BUT it needs to be repeated…

The KEY to being happy and successful – personally and professionally – is changing your current mindset and belief system.  It is this thinking that keeps you stuck or repeating the same habits in your life and your business.

Just for today, let’s make a change.  So,

If you REACT all day long, there is no progress.
If you DREAD your day, there is no progress.
If you RESENT your bills, your schedule, your kids, your job, there is no progress.
If you SURF, read, piddle and social all day, there is no progress.
If you WAIT for a better time, there is no progress.
If you WISH for someone else to be more supportive, there is no progress.
If you WANDER through your list, your desk, your mail, your email and your tasks…there is no progress.

Today, make PROGRESS on PURPOSE.  Even if you just set a timer for an HOUR (okay, make it 15 minutes to start) so that YOU can move FORWARD.

What will you do to move forward today?  Share with us so we can CELEBRATE you.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!