Hope Wissel

Loving Yourself When You’re Too…..

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“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Last week, I had an AHA moment.  A moment when the brain fog lifted and I realized that I had to stop making excuses for why a few (okay, 20) pounds were back.  Yes, I could blame health issues.  The truth was that I was slowly slipping back into old habits that I had BEFORE I lost 100 pounds.

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Yup, that’s me and my cutie of a daughter.  Mind you that picture is REALLY old but the truth is that there aren’t many pictures of me when I was heavy.

Back to the AHA moment….I needed to take control of what I could control – my eating.  I was repeatedly complaining about “gaining” or not losing weight as hubby’s weight kept going down.  The truth was, he was eating healthier and I was secretly eating junk!  Okay, so the truth is out, now I have to be accountable.

I wanted the capris that had fit so good over the last 2 summers to again fit.  I wanted the jiggle in my thighs to be gone.  I wanted the puffiness in my face to be gone.  There was no magic wand but there was that proverbial SMACK on the  head that made me realize what I needed to do.  It was at the moment that I opened my email to find an online special from Weight Watchers.  I didn’t delete it, I just let it sit in my inbox.  After a lot of prayer and thought, I did it!  I signed up again.

It was time for me to stop beating myself up and take some of my own advice…

1. Stop comparing.

Hubby loves me not matter what – I mean when we got together, I was on the weightless journey.  Over the last two years as I struggled with health issues, I was constantly comparing myself to others. I felt inferior because I hadn’t stuck to the program.

Once you stop comparing, you realize that you will always be too fat, too skinny, too tall, too this when you compare yourself to others.  The comparison game will kill your dreams before you even start. Know that you are exactly what you’re supposed to be—one of a kind and beautiful.

2. Change the way you see.

Have you had experiences where people you told you how pretty (or nice you look) BUT you thought you were unattractive? I have.  Where you say “thank you” and add “but I have….” negating their compliment.

Dr. Wayne Dyer often said, “When you change the way you look at things, things you look at change.” I know this is true because I often experience it in my life.

Focus on what is wonderful about you, whether it’s your kindness, generosity, or thoughtfulness.  When you focus on the internal features, the external features seem to start to sparkle with radiance.  It’s not that you changed—your perception did.

3. Change your thoughts.

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How many times have you looked at a picture or a video of yourself and a barrage of negative self-talk dominated your thoughts? Those inner gremlins start to take over and before long they are in control.

How sad it would be if we allowed those negative voices to stop us from offering what we have to give: our knowledge, ideas, voice, gifts, our love, and more? We would be withholding these things from people who might need and benefit from them.

My Fierce Cheerleader and Abundance Coach, Eryka Peskin, has taught me how to celebrate those negative things so they no longer have control over my life.  Try it.  Step back and reframe those negatives into a positive.

You have so much to give (even if you feel like you don’t): your unique gifts, your experience, courage, ingenuity, creativity, and so much more. Don’t let the negative voices stop you from sharing what you have. The world (your neighbors, your friends, your grandma, or whatever your world may be) needs it.

The truth is, there will always be someone or some people who will find you undesirable or unlovable, but the world is also full of people who will feel the opposite.

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Ultimately, the deeper truth you have to find within yourself is this: If no one loves me, will I love myself?  YES, I will love myself.

In the moments when I don’t like what I see in the mirror, I make a choice. I make a choice to give myself total acceptance and love for all that I am: the good, the ugly, and the bad.

Will you make the choice to love yourself when you’re too short, too tall, too fat, and too skinny?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Clear the Clutter

Want to Train Your Brain?

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A few years ago, I took a training with the AWESOME Dana Wilde called “Train Your Brain“. I have to admit, I thought it was a little crazy.  I wasn’t in a good place – not ready to clear the clutter from my brain and move forward.  I was stuck!

I have come a LONG way baby!  It took work, personal growth lead to the desire to move my business to the next level.  Tired of being paycheck (or commission check) to paycheck, it was time to kick things up a notch.  It was time to stop playing small.  The funny thing is that when I started working on my business, I saw some changes in my personal growth as well.

I listened to a great interview between Desiree Wolfe and Dana Wilde that broke the “train your brain” concept down into very simple terms.  It can be applied to all aspects of your life, so here are the 4 steps to training your brain:

  1. Be aware of ALL of your thoughts particularly the negative ones. Imagine you decide to buy a new car – say a red one.  Maybe you picked that color because it is your favorite or maybe you picked it because you don’t see many red cars.  BAM!  What happens, once you start focusing on red cars, they are everywhere.  The same thing happens with your thoughts.  Yes, it is the Law of Attraction. Focus on the negative, get negative.  Focus on the positive and good things happen.
  2. Decide that you are ready to make a change.  When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired… or when you are tired of being stuck – you will make the conscious decision to change your thinking.  This is HUGE step but a very important one.  
  3. Talk about the current situation – reframing it.  Maybe you aren’t ready to jump from being stuck to being “I am a ROCKSTAR” or “I am AWESOME”, I know that I’m not.  Take baby steps.  Maybe you just need to trust the system that you are using.  Maybe you just have to trust that you will attract the people (or object) that you want.  Instead of saying “I hope that I will XXXX (fill in the blank)” try dropping the limiting belief of “I hope”.  Be certain that you will do XXX (fill in the blank).  
  4. Feel good!  I know you are probably wondering… if I am in a funk or stuck – how am I going to feel good, right?  Ask yourself this question “What’s going right?”.  Maybe you are just having a good hair day.  Maybe you didn’t hit the snooze alarm.  Whatever it is, big or small -CELEBRATE it.  On days I struggle, I write them down in my planner so I can see them.  Set the alarm on your phone to ask you a few times during the day “what’s going right?”.  You will be on your way to training your brain!

The concept of “train your brain” is not all fluff, it is based on scientific evidence that it does work.  If inspirational quotes haven’t kicked you out of the funk, why not give this a try.

Share your thoughts with us.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Clear the Clutter

Key to Help Lower Your Daily Stress

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The school year is winding down.  The kids are already complaining that there is nothing to do.  Work is crazy.  You are juggling more balls than you ever did.  STRESS!

Did you know that “Stress is your resistance to what’s happening”?  That’s right, you are refusing to accept the what is happening.  Instead, you worry and think what shoulda, coulda or woulda happen.  Some would say that stress is just a mindset which can be changed.

The truth is you can conquer daily stress by simply living in the present – just BE here now.  Let go of what you think your life is supposed to look, and simply appreciate it for everything that it is.  I know, easier said then done, right?

Here are some tips on how to reduce your stress from the book “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”:

  • Trust your intuition. You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to everyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it often knows best.
  • Firmly decide what matters and what doesn’t.  Stress comes from the way you react, not the way life is.  Inner peace begins the moment you choose to be mindful by not allowing another person or event to dominate your emotions.
  • Take a deep breath when you need one. You don’t have to solve every problem in your life before you can enjoy being at peace.
  • Keep sanity in your schedule. Say “no” sometimes to good things so you can say “yes” to important things. We can’t do it all so choose wisely.
  • Practice gratitude. Here is that Law of Attraction thing again.  Look for reasons to be grateful, and see them everywhere. Remind yourself how fortunate you are at this moment. The more you appreciate it, the better it’ll be.
  • Detach yourself from the habit of taking things personally.  This has been the hardest thing for me to learn.  Did you know that if you take everything personally, you’ll remain offended for the rest of your life? The truth is that what other people do is often because of them, not you.  As I was once told, “it isn’t all about you”!
  • Focus on the positive. Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time – it’s about accepting what happens every time, and making the best of it. In other words, a sincerely positive attitude is an expression of the way you choose for things to be.
  • Practice patience as you work for your desires.  In a world filled with instant gratification, we must learn the value of patience and perseverance.
  • Spend time with supportive, loving people. Being happy is directly related to the quality of people who you surround yourself with every single day. Yup, the Law of Attraction again.

Whatever is happening in your life right now… The key it NOT to beat yourself up! No matter what!

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Are you struggling with life and has stress got the best of you?  That’s okay.  Be patient with yourself. It years to form these habits, routines and life situations that are creating stress in your life.  There is NO magic wand that will wipe it all away.  It will take some time to make changes.

But I promise you: Even the smallest step in the right direction today will bring you some peace. Take that step. And then take another one tomorrow.

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In what way do you need to lower your daily stress? What is creating needless stress in your life? Share your thoughts with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Unclutter Your Life

Motivation

 55eef6a8e8254f1bae601a971425ff29We all know that motivation is the key to success in everything that we do but especially in direct sales or when you have your own business. Lack of motivation makes it hard to take action, and without action, your goals remain unfulfilled. Did you know that there is actually some types of motivation that hinder you rather than help you?  Everyone who reads this blog or knows me, knows that I am a HUGE believer of the Law of Attraction.  I may struggle practicing it some days BUT I never give up.

Based on that belief, If you’re motivated by what you don’t want to occur or what you’re afraid will happen if you don’t take action, that is that motivation that is keeping you from reaching your goal.  Think about it – are you ever excited and motivated to run away from something?  Are you motivated when you feel like you have to keep moving to stay ahead of what you’re afraid might happen?  Now, if you are being chased by a bear or something, yes that is motivating but I am talking about reaching your goals.

Everything starts with a thought, right?  So if you are thinking about what you DON’T want, you are creating more of those things that you wish to avoid.  Make sense?  Think of it this way, when you create a  a feeling or thought of what you don’t want, you are actually drawing it to you and giving it strength.

If you create a very clear picture of what you do want, decide how it would look, sound, and feel to have it, and then start moving toward that goal.  I struggle with the feeling side of this so it helps to talk it out with a friend; with their help (and asking me lots of questions) I can start to put that into a visualize.  It feels good when you are moving towards a goal.  Regardless of how big the steps are, you are creating positive energy and drawing those goals to you.  It feels good to move in a positive direction toward something you want.  When you focus your energy on what you want, the Law of Attraction kicks in.

When you are clearly focusing on your goal and visualizing how it will feel once you have it, amazing things start to happen.  Here are a few examples of mindset shifts you can make that will shift your motivation from moving away from to moving toward courtesy of JulieAnn Jones
  • Change from: “I don’t want to be broke and I have to be able to pay off my debt” to “I’m abundant and I know money is flowing to me as I work toward my business goals.”
  • Change from: “I have to get more bookings or my business is going to dry up” to “I am a booking magnet and I love doing parties for all of my excited hosts.”
  • Change from: “I’ll never get everything on my to do list done. I have to work harder and longer to make it happen” to “I love taking positive action every single day with a clear plan and path to what I want to achieve.”

I know it can be tough.  It is amazing to me how changing just one or two words in a sentence (don’t want or have to get) can change the whole flow of the Universe.  It feels like magic.  Training your brain takes practice and you really just need to be intentional about opening the flow, getting out of your own way, and allowing what you need to come to you.

The best way that I have found to stay on top of this shift it to take a gratitude walk.  I don’t mean an actual walk although that is a great option BUT what I mean is to close your eyes for ten seconds a day and give thanks for the things that you already have.  When you feel positive about the amazing things you already have, whatever goal you’ve set for yourself seems within your reach.  If you do nothing else and just do this, you’ll be amazed at what starts to happen in your life and business.

19bb61a19b604b65823f28343e6f8506Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!