You be You

 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves …” Philippians 2:3 (NIV)

I have a confession!  Over the last 10 days, I was a Facebook addict.  Yes, I proudly stalked Facebook at every possible moment.  Why?  My Thirty One sisters were at National Conference and I was at home.  It was not an easy decision but one that I was at peace with.  My Sponsor even said “you have a peacefulness in you that I have never heard before”. It was a nice surprise.  Yes, Eryka, I did say “Thank you, it is true“.

So, where is this all leading?  In direct sales, there are thousands of sister consultants.  Some in the same neighborhood and maybe even on the same block.  I used to feel threatened by this.  I wanted to be the best. I wanted everyone to give me “words of affirmation”.  When others succeeded where I didn’t, I used to feel envy, jealousy and downright lousy.  This would be followed by a period of anger and frustration.  The end result, my business and my personal life suffered.

I have been blessed over the last several months to have gone through a transformation – okay, I am still a work in progress but HUGE changes have occurred.  Here are some things that I did:

1. Becky Spieth kicked it off by touching my heart at our Leadership Conference.  Check out her videos, she is AMAZING!
2. I read The Secret, TWICE.  This changed my perspective on life totally.  I now speak the positive into the Universe, leaving Negative Nelly at the curb.
3. I learned how to CELEBRATE me – my accomplishments, my faults, my inner gremlins.  The whole mess.  Thank you Eryka.
4. My morning devotions include the NIV Leadership Bible.  Okay, I will admit that there are actually parts of the Bible that I never read before.  I will admit that I don’t always get the point they are trying to make.  That is all okay.  The fact that I keep going is what is making a difference.

 

What did I learn?  Everyone’s journey is different.  I need to be ME!  I have been called and given an assignment by God.  Okay, so I may not know what it is but I know he has a plan for me.  I am not going to let comparison, jealousy or envy take me off his path.  God has given us gifts but not to make ourselves better than the girl next to us.  The gifts are ours to share with the world.  The road maybe rocky but I know that when I give my insecurities to God – truly turn them over – I can confidently be myself while watching someone else live out theirs (and maybe even my) dream. It is an ongoing struggle but we need to put our insecurities aside so we can embrace the place where we have confidence and assurance.

So stalking Facebook allowed me to CELEBRATE the accomplishments of others and I am blessed by it. I am ME! You are YOU!  We may have the same business but our paths are different.  God has a unique plan for each of us.

Are you willing to forgo the envy and the jealousy to live the life that God has planned for you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Humility

Happy MONDAY!  Can you tell that I love the little minions?  Every time I see one I think of The Crafty Recluse’s tag line “you are one in a minion” and I smile.

For those in direct sales, the key to growing into leadership is building a team, right?  We all what the “dream team”.  The ones who are focused, consistent sellers and all want the same things that we do.  The truth is that the people on our team are there for a reason.  They may not be someone else’s definition of a dream team but their are God’s definition of a dream team for YOU!  I LOVE the diverse personalities that are on my dream team.

As leaders, we are always looking for what it takes to be a great leader.  I am working my way through the Leadership Bible every day to be able to raise “my lid” as a leader.  Tracy Simmon summed it up in one word – humility:

Not the sickly sweet distorted version of humility which turns some people into doormats, but the powerful kind of humility that moves mountains while always upholding the dignity of every person involved.

I’ll take a humble, unskilled, inexperienced leader over an arrogant, experienced, highly skilled “leader” any day of the week.

So, what are some traits of a humble leader?  Here are just a few:

 

1. Admit It: You admit your weaknesses, flaws, and the things you don’t do well. You laugh at yourself. You know you have an inner freak and you’ve embraced it. Humility allows you to give an honest assessment of yourself.

 

2. Ask for Help: You know when you need to ask for help from others and you’re not afraid do so. You’re likely to hit your limit at some point, whether you’re running out of time, coming up against a lack of knowledge or missing skillset, or just feeling overwhelmed, and you’re not afraid to ask for help.

3. Better Than You: You do not feel threatened by (and are willing to hire) people who are smarter than you, have greater skills and experience than you…and you’re happy to pay them more than you make. You know that hiring people who are better than you doesn’t diminish you or your role.

 

4. Take Responsibility: When there’s a failure or a mistake made by someone on your team, you acknowledge that part of the failure belongs to you. You take responsibility for your team’s mistakes.

5. You Can Handle the Truth: You welcome constructive criticism. You ask for feedback—and openly listen to it and receive it—even when it’s hard to hear. 

6. Apologize: You’re willing to admit when you’ve blown it and to apologize for your mistakes.

7. Let It Go: You don’t always need to be right. You know it’s better to let some things go rather than trying to prove your point.

8. Forgive Others: You forgive others when they make mistakes. You speak with them about their errors and then let them start all over with a clean slate. 

9. Give Credit: You look for ways to give away credit for work done, shouting it out to anyone who will listen, rather than to soak it all up for yourself. 

 

10. Share the Knowledge: You willingly share your knowledge with others. You have no need to hoard it in order to look smarter or better than others. You want to help others develop and grow as far as possible.

I don’t know about you but even on this short list, I found a few of my own weaknesses.  In the areas where some may see me as “arrogant”, the real reason is probably due to a feeling of inadequacy as a result of shame and fear.  Yes, let’s get gut honest with ourselves so that we can be better leaders for our teams.

Would your team consider you a truly humble leader or an arrogant leader? Or do you bounce between the two.  I would love to know your thoughts…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Finding Joy

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

Giving thanks in ALL circumstances is not always easy for me.  I can say the words but in my heart, I struggle with believing it.

Does that mean I should give thanks for:

• Not having a full calendar.
• Sales being off or down.
• Not earning the Leadership Trip
• Cancelled parties.
• Hubby being less than 100% supportive of my business
• Weight creeping up
• Aching in my legs

Okay, so you get my point right?  In the past – before the Leadership Retreat – all of these things would have put me in a funk.  Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie would have surfaced and I would have stayed STUCK in that negative place.  I would have let fear take over and guide my path.  I would have settled for what was happening, accepting it as my fate.

When God asks me to “give thanks in all circumstances,” He means EVERYTHING. Even when it means my plans don’t pan out or my best efforts seem to go wrong, not just the things that are pretty and planned.

What I have actually learned is by giving thanks to God for each of these things, I am hearing a small voice inside giving me comfort and direction.  Wouldn’t I rather just stew a little while and enjoy a nice warm cup of self-pity?

Of course, I would.  God may have another plan for me that day or in that season.  What lessons have I learned over the few weeks as each of  these things have happened:

• I am working my business as a business
• I have become focused on the tasks to build my business
• I am seeking new hostesses to book parties
• I am not giving up and accepting the status quo
• Each day is a new day – working towards shedding the few pounds & maintaining goal weight
• I am diving into my Leadership Bible each morning to hear what God’s plan is
• I am learning to communicate better with hubby about my business.  He needs facts not my “talking out” process

So, why am I sharing all of this, right?  Maybe you are grumbling too.  Maybe you have sharp tones for those around you.  Maybe you have angry words for someone who doesn’t agree with your plans.  Maybe you are impatient with your children.  Maybe YOUR plan is not working but rest assured that God’s plan is right on schedule.

All God asks of us is to do whatever task He gives with a thankful, rejoicing heart. Just as I parented my daughter, the Lord is in the process of parenting me.  And by trusting Him, I can face the unwelcome moments with joy and peace.  I trusted my parents, so why is it so hard for me to trust the God who gave me life?

By God’s grace, I let go of my plan. In the midst of circumstances I wouldn’t have chosen, choosing to give thanks has led to joy.  I often say the Serenity Prayer ending it with “Your will, not mine be done”.  I really just want my own will to be done. I want to loosen my grip on my plans and cling more tightly to God. What about you, will you join me?

 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’S purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Courage

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Just when I think I can’t hear God.  Just when I think I don’t know what God wants me to do, he whispers in my ear.  It means stepping out of my comfort zone.  It means sharing things with others that have been buried deep inside.  It means trusting without fear that God has this.

But when I thought about today’s blog, this “crazy” thought popped up and I needed to share.

We ended our Leadership Retreat last weekend with what some might say was a true “come to Jesus” moment.  Okay, so it may have been 2 hours but it felt like only moments.  As Becky Spieth shared her story with us, tears flowed from everyone in the room. Not because of her story but how her story touched each of us that day.  We may not have walked the same path.  We may not have had the exact same experiences BUT we all needed to hear her words.

As she played Amazing Grace to settle our hearts. I cried like a baby.  God was asking me to open my heart.  He was reaching out to me.  It was the first time in a VERY long time, that I  was not worried about what others thought.  These were my Thirty One sisters. God has a plan for us – we are going to move mountains with “this purse thing”.

At the end, Becky invited each of us to come up (if we wanted) for individual prayer.  In the background was a song that I hadn’t heard in a long time – At the Foot of the Cross.  It was at this moment that I realized that on the outside I was doing all of the “right things” while on the inside I still harbored doubts and fears.  I still believed that my past filled with sin kept me from God’s grace.  I still believed that God really didn’t speak to me.  I still believed that I didn’t deserve love – unconditional love from anyone including my hubby.  I was standing in line for prayer to support someone else – not for me.  It was then that the roles were reversed and God truly touched my heart.  I felt a warmth that can’t be described.  As we left, I felt renewed and ready to hold fast to God’s love.  I realized that I had been “emotionally divorcing” from my life in an effort to “look good”.  This was the only way for me to not “appear” to be a chronic whiner or complainer – a Negative Nellie or Doubtful Debbie.

Only a few days after being home, I let the routine of life fill me with old feelings.  I struggled to find the courage to believe that my business was going to be successful. I struggled not to “emotionally divorce” my life.  I struggled to tap into God’s word.  Then I was doing my devotions when I realized that I haven’t really been doing devotions.  Yes, I read God’s word but it was that quick read in the morning via an email on daily devotions.  I wasn’t praying about it nor was I asking God what he wanted me to get from the reading.  I wasn’t actually reading the Bible and having a relationship with God.  As I read my Leadership Bible, I realized that I needed to return to having conversations with God.  Believe it or not, hubby has a better relationship with God than I do.  No, he doesn’t go to church BUT he talks to him each day.  Okay, so he might get mad about things but he actually asks God for guidance. I feel like my conversations have returned to those old “foxhole” prayers from my days of addiction.

I ask that you listen to the words of Amazing Grace and At the Foot of the Cross. Let them touch your heart as God begins to work in your life.  I pray that this blog has touched someone’s heart. I pray for healing, for comfort and for grace each of you reading this today.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!