Thankful Thursday: Mistakes

A mistake is defined as “an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.” .  We have all made them from the little ones to the ones which wreck our lives or those around us.  Do you think of them as leaning lessons and are grateful for the mistake?  OR do you beat yourself up swearing to never do anything “stupid” like that again?

I will admit, depending on the mistake – I can go between the two.  No matter how you handle the mistake, you are not alone. It’s likely all of us have repeated some of our mistakes at one time or another and reacted differently each time.  The truth is if we never made mistakes, we wouldn’t learn much so it is one of those things we should be thankful for.

The good news is, you can learn from your mistakes. Then, instead of repeating them again, you’ll gain valuable wisdom to help you in the future.

1. Acknowledge Your Errors

Regardless of the size of the mistake or who it has effected,  you have to accept full responsibility for your role in what happened.  You need to ask yourself, “What role did I play in this?”.  The answer can be uncomfortable sometimes (okay, maybe most of the time), but you need to own your part.  Once you have said “I messed up,”  you can start to learn from it.  This is all part of changing and hopefully, not making the same mistake again.

2. Ask Yourself Tough Questions

You don’t want to dwell on your mistakes (this is a tough one for me) BUT reflecting on them can be productive. I don’t know about you but when I dwell on mistakes, I tend to beat myself up a little bit.  So, if you ask yourself these tough questions, it can turn a bashing session into a productive one:

• What went wrong?
• What could I do better next time?
• What did I learn from this?

Write down your responses and you’ll see the situation a little more clearly. Seeing your answers on paper can help you think more logically about an irrational or emotional experience.  Let’s face it, we have all had them at one time.

3. Make A Plan

Beating yourself up for your mistakes won’t help you down the road.  It’s important to spend the bulk of your time thinking about how to do better in the future.  Make a plan to help avoid making a similar mistake. Be as detailed as possible but remain flexible since your plan may need to change  No matter how you track your progress, find a way to hold yourself accountable.  Remember what works for one person might not work with someone else.

4. Make It Harder To Mess Up

How will you be sure not to mess up again?  Does willpower alone prevent you from taking an unhealthy shortcut or from giving into immediate gratification (I want what I want when I want it). Increase your chances of success by making it harder to mess up again. Find creative ways to become more disciplined. If using credit cards is your struggle – cut up the cards or freeze them.  Yup, in a big block of ice.  Whenever you try to thaw the block of ice, you will realize how ridiculous the situation is and stop spending money you don’t have.

5. Create A List Of Reasons Why You Don’t Want To Make The Mistake Again

We all have weak moments and the next thing you know, we have made the same mistake again!  Why not create a list of all the reasons why you should stay on track and be self-disciplined,  you can refer to during tough times. Put the list some place where you can see it – if shopping is a problem, put the list in your wallet next to your debit/credit cards.  If flirting on social media is a thing, post your list on your computer so when you start scrolling or are tempted you see the list.  Is it a guarantee?  NO but it may help you to resist the temptation.  Self-discipline is like a muscle. Each time you delay gratification and make a healthy choice, you grow mentally stronger.

Mistakes aren’t always one big blunder. Sometimes, they are a series of little choices leading to failure.  So pay attention to your mistakes, no matter how big or how small they might seem. Recognize each mistake can be an opportunity to build mental muscle and become better.

Have a blessed day!

In The Eyes of a Child

Today’s is a re-blog of Vanessa Coppes

YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN FROM A MISTAKE IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO YOUR ABILITY TO GET OVER IT

Mistakes…We don’t like them, avoid them, blame them on others, run away from them…(sigh) but they happen. I am the first one to admit to imperfection and if I’ve learned anything in my 35 years is this: when a mistake has been made on your behalf, your opportunity to learn from it is in direct proportion to your ability to get over it. 

Quick example: My 5 year old son missed the school bus the other day. He was playing inside his new fort instead of standing by the window like he’s supposed to every morning 5 minutes before pickup time. His excitement to play in his new fort trumped his responsibility to be ready for school on time.

Now,  you may be wondering where was I while all of this was happening…Well, I was standing right there beside him.

See… I set a timer for him in the mornings because it helps us both stay on track. He knows how much time he has to play before school and I know when to crank up the heat. But he and I have had this “morning drama” more often than not. and since I’ve decided to steer clear from drama in my life, I realized he needed a consequence for his choice. I am trying to teach my son awareness and that there are good and bad consequences for the choices you make.

He heard the timer go off indicating him it was time to go, he ignored my request to go stand by the door… and a few minutes later, he heard the bus drive away from our house…all I could hear was a hysterical “NoOoOoOo!!!!!!”

Later that day, he apologized for not listening to me and said something that left in awe, “Mama, I am going to throw this day away and start with a better one tomorrow.” The next morning I did not have to say a word. In fact he was ready before I even asked him to.

Embrace mistakes as lessons in your personal development. Your opportunity to learn from it is in direct proportion to your ability to get over it.

How do YOU handle mistakes?  In my “previous life”, I was hesitant to admit my mistakes for fear of what people would think.  As we count the hours to the deadline for holiday orders, I pray I will embrace any mistakes I make.  When life gets crazy and we are rushed, mistakes happen… the question is, how will you handle it?

When I became a MOM many years ago, I learned it was important to admit my mistakes and take ownership of them.  I didn’t want my daughter growing up putting mom on a pedestal which could topple and crumble, leaving her filled with doubts and heartache.  It was a great learning lesson for me as I embraced my mistakes over the years.  I know it sounds crazy but some of those mistakes have made me the person I am today.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

How To Embrace Your Life At Any Age

It’s FRIDAY!!!!!  I always say that “age” is just a number.  Some might disagree BUT I think I have a great attitude about getting older.  Some would never believe that I am 59 – yes, really!  I am ready to embrace life instead of worrying and dreading it.  I read recently that only 25% of our genes are responsible for visible signs of aging. Most of us have preconceived notions about what getting older looks like – do you?

If you are approaching 45 (mid-life for some), are you in a “mid-life crisis”?  What if you took the word ‘crisis’ away from the word mid-life ‘crisis’. The second half of your life could be the best part of your life….

Here are some ways to make the second half of your life as exciting as can be:

1. Get your finances in order. Your will, insurance policies, retirement statements and estate planning should all be done. Be sure to know where all your documents are.
2. Live in gratitude. Be thankful for what you have, look forward to what is still to come.
3. Try to shoot for 6-8 hours of sleep per night.
4. Get a mammogram, pap smear, colonoscopy, full skin check up and a full blood work up. You will feel better knowing you did.
5. Take a new route to work. Mix it up. Enjoy the scenery.
6. Connect with like-minded and interesting people. Spend time with the people you enjoy being around. People that lift you up not bring you down.
7. Tell your loved ones that you love them every day
8. Look in the mirror, tell yourself, “I love you!” (Sometimes harder than it sounds ;-))
9. Make exercise a non- negotiable. We lose muscle over the age of 40 and more over 50! Take the steps.  Take a short walk.  Start somewhere BUT keep moving.
10. Take on new and exciting opportunities
11. Do what you love and love what you do!
12. Learn new things. Attend conferences, workshops, and read at least 1 new book per month.
13. Avoid stress and drama as much as possible. Do not let someone else’s drama become yours.
14. Up your water consumption. I was told the rule of thumb is to drink half your weight in ounces daily. This isn’t always easy for me but I try.
15. Enjoy your journey and where you are in life in the present time.
16. Health is the most important thing we have. It feels good to know that we can create better health through the simple steps and actions we take each day.
17. Schedule ‘me’ time. Self- care is imperative. Get a massage regularly. Enjoy your pampering time without guilt. Go out with girlfriends you can be silly around and be yourself with.
18. Unplug from your cell phone and all social media whenever you can. We all need a break from everything. It will all still be there when you plug back in. I know this one is hard from personal experience but it needs to be done.
19. Take a vacation just for fun at the very least once a year. Travel to try new things and to meet new and interesting people.
20. Don’t spend money on things you do not need to impress people you really don’t care about. What you do with your money is your business, period.
21. Not everyone is going to like you so accept it and move on. Stick with the few people that have your back and are always there for you and distance yourself from the rest.
22. Understand and appreciate your worth. Be proud of what you have done and what you are still going to accomplish. With age does come wisdom. Don’t let anyone younger try to take that away from you and never let them try to under value your worth.

Life will always be filled with its uncertainties.  I may not always get the tips that I shared right BUT when I do they have given me the opportunity to experience better health, more peace, and happiness in my life. I hope some of them can help you too!

I know that by thinking positively and doing positive things, I create a foundation to live the best, most energetic life possible. My intention moving into my sixties, and beyond, is to age gracefully while engaging a purpose-filled life.

Will you join me?  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!