How Honest Are You?

 The “Just for Today” reading this morning was about growing honest.  Think about how honest  you really are.  Do you return extra change to the cashier? Would you admit if you hit a parked car? 

Now, how about being honest with yourself.  Do you honor the person you are on the inside by honestly sharing with those are around you?  Maybe you are like me and don’t always know who the person is on the inside.  Maybe you have “white lied” or left out parts for so long, you have honestly lost the person inside….

We all say we want “the truth” but are we always ready to hear the “truth”???

I remember telling Belinda when she was growing up  “if she was honest with me, she wouldn’t get in trouble.”  I know you are probably thinking  “she’s CRAZY”, right?  Who is crazy enough to tell a child they wouldn’t get punished?  Was I scared of what she would tell me?  YES!  I wanted her to know I would always be there for her.   I stuck to my guns. When she did something wrong or thought I wouldn’t approve of some thing, she told me and she didn’t get punished.  I’m not foolish enough to think she admitted everything but I do know there were times when she did and I was grateful.  I think it helped us in building a strong relationship.

My first time in recovery, I was honest to myself.  I wanted the values I was learning (re-learning from my childhood) to be instilled in my daughter.  Sadly, as I made my way down the spiral to a relapse, those things were lost.  My “white lies” or not whole truths kept me from being the honest person I wanted to be.  It sent mixed messages when there should have been complete trust.  I chose pride over honesty until things were such a mess, I had not choice but to get “honest” with myself and others.

As I entered recovery for the second time, the phrase “honesty is the best policy” haunted me.  Doubt and fear had me convinced those I loved would walk away, never speaking to me again.  They trusted me.  They believed what they saw on the outside while I was trying to close the door on the inner gremlins seeking to get out on the inside.  How could I be honest with them?  I feared the pain I would cause.  I feared the outcome.  I feared the losing the people I cared about the most.  But we are only as sick as our secrets.  It was time to get honest and take the good with the bad….

With 22+ months clean, I am learning honesty is more about having faith.  It is trusting my Higher Power will be there to guide and protect me.  Do I still struggle with being honest about my feelings?  YUP!  I play through how I think the other person will react.  I play through all of the “what ifs”.  Then I turn it over (or at least try to) and trust in the process.

After losing a sponsor, I looked for another.  I valued this person’s honesty at meetings. In a conversation, they told me “you worry too much about what the result will be, just share your feelings.  Be honest because it is about YOU getting better”.  I tried their suggestion and it backfired. Because when stating my feelings, I lost all compassion for the person I was speaking to. I realized their honesty was often self-centered, without a caring and compassionate concern for others. NOT the person I wanted to be.  I learned compassion and honesty had to work hand in hand for me.  I’m learning there is a time and a place to be honest.  What I mean is maybe sharing my feelings is NOT appropriate at this moment and may be better done at another time….the feelings still get shared BUT it is done with compassion towards the other person.

”Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.”~Mary Kay Ash

This quote was in an early blog I wrote about honesty in business.  It can be applied to any aspect of your life.  Do we have self-confidence when we tell those “little lies” to hide our feelings?  Do we let doubt and fear take hold, so honesty goes out the door?  If you are lacking confidence, maybe you should look at how honest you are being to yourself and others.

For some honesty is the only way they have lived.  For others, being honest is something they have to re-learn because of past experiences.  How often have we thought we were being honest yet we were not sharing “everything”.  

When we are NOT 100% honest, we weave a tangled web.  We are being deceptive.  Believe it or not, after awhile we start to believe our own tales.  One small tale leads to another sort of like digging a ditch (one shovel full at a time).  Before long you are confused and lost in your own stories.  Reflecting, every time I lied or left out details (the times I remember) I was usually convincing myself I wasn’t good enough.  I was afraid of not living up to the expectations of others (which probably wasn’t there to begin with) or I just wanted to fit in.

Honesty cuts through the red tape, the distractions, the frustration and the indecision. Honesty gets you where you want to go faster because you live how you really feel. Believe it or not your intuition will give you a feel for what is in harmony with your heart.

Start by being honest with yourself. Be honest about your thoughts, words, actions and wants. Then think about your interaction with others and your personal relationships. Do people know your true self? If not, what are you afraid of?  Tough as it may be, own your feelings when you talk.  Don’t blame others!  I will admit this takes some practice.  I’m still learning!  Isn’t our immediate response to defend when we are hurt or angry?  I know mine is.  I easily react to something someone says instead of expressing my feelings honestly and openly.

Be honest with your friends, family and co-workers.  If you mess up – ADMIT it!  They will appreciate the honesty.  If we are viewed as “perfect”, others may hesitate to approach us.  The way you present yourself to others, being true to yourself and your values will shine through.

Honesty can lead to better health….. “Telling the truth when tempted to lie can significantly improve a person’s mental and physical health, according to a “Science of Honesty” study.  Makes sense, right?  Less stress.

Have a blessed day!

Chasing Rabbits

 

“You cannot chase more than one rabbit at a time and catch either one of them.”  Mary Kay Ash, cosmetics mogul

This is a busy week for those in the Thirty One pink bubble as well as other direct sales companies that are launching a new catalog on August 1st.  It is the end of the month and the end of the season.  It is a week of transition between old and new catalogs.  It is making sure that your customers don’t miss out on their favorite retiring products.  It is getting your hostess packets and marketing materials ready to ensure that you have a full calendar for the next few months. WOW!  I am tired just thinking about it.  Actually my list is getting longer by the minute of things to get done.  What about you?

One of my biggest mistakes and maybe yours too, is that I try this idea, that idea, that website, and this coach. We want to try all of these things at the same time and see what works.  We are running around trying what everyone else is doing instead of looking at our own business and evaluating what worked and what didn’t work for us.

Change can be good, sometimes.  Just imagine a potential recruit.  Maybe she has been to a few of your parties.  You think she would be great on your team.  As you talk to her, you hear “I couldn’t do that”, “you are so (fill in the blank) and that isn’t me” or “I don’t have time to change things up all of the time”.  The truth is change can be good if it is for the right reasons but just for the sake of changing could hurt more than help. You may have just made your job look so hard that no one wants to do it.

Been there, done that and lost the recruit.  I have tried every party idea that came along because it sounded fun or because it increased XX business, so it will help mine.  The truth is our circle of customers can be very different.

I am kicking off the new catalog by going old school. What does that mean?  I am SERVING my customers and hostesses.  I had some of my best parties when I wasn’t “trying” too hard.  When I focused my hostess coaching to boost her excitement.  When I asked what kinds of things her guest would like – not just products but the party experience.  It wasn’t my agenda but it fit into what they wanted to do for the night.  My basic script was always the same. Some may say boring, others would say it was a good thing.

 

 

You know what is happening?  My hostess coaching is getting better.  I am building better relationships with my hostesses which will lead to a better relationship with her guests.  I am focused on the best products to present instead of what game to play or what I am going to say,  KISS – Keep It Simple Sister!

What have I learned over the last year?  Sales were down slightly. Parties were down. Why? I could blame it on the economy.  I could blame it on the “s” word. But when I get gut honest, it is the way that I ran my business.  I was so busy trying the latest party idea that I missed out on building a good relationship with my customers, hostesses and team.  I looked unsure, and possibly even insincere because it wasn’t me!  Love this statement by Carrie Wilkerson

You don’t want your baby delivered by the Dentist. You want a specialist. I could not have chased all those rabbits and done as well as I did.

Trust me – focus on one model that works for you. I am not saying that you can’t change it up once in a while BUT keep the basic format the same.  I love the simplicity of Thirty One’s WOW format – Welcome, Offer Solutions, Wrap Up.  We want our job to look as easy as it is.  We want people to climb on board as hostesses and team.

 

Do you get distracted in your business when you see LOTS of ideas flying around?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Honesty is the Best Policy

 

I know you probably heard it growing up “Honesty is the best policy”, right?  I remember telling Belinda that if she was honest with me, she wouldn’t get in trouble.  I know you are probably thinking that is CRAZY!  I stuck to my guns and when she did something that was wrong or she thought I wouldn’t approve of, she came to and told me.  I am not foolish enough to think that she admitted everything but I do know there were times when she did and I was grateful.  I think that it helped us in building a strong relationship.

What does that have to do with your business?  ”Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.” ~Mary Kay Ash

Here’s how honesty can build your business:

• Your honest story – People will support your business if they feel a connection with you.  Share how, what, where, when and why about your business.  Honestly, I started with Thirty One for the discounts not thinking I would ever be in direct sales.  I look back now at how I wanted to do things my way – I share those success and failures with my team and potential recruits.
• Honest testimonials – Honest testimonials are like gigantic walking billboards for your business. The best testimonial is to have a customer share with another customer.  I LOVE when I have a satisfied customer at an event or party – I don’t need to do much but let them share their LOVE for my product.
• Honest references – Ask people who know you to mention and share your ethical qualities. People will seek out your business because they know they are dealing with an honest person.  Referrals from other customers and hostess are AWESOME!  I am still surprised when I customer calls me and says “so-so referred me to you”.  I always send that customer a Thank You card with a little gift attached (usually a discount on a future order).
• Display a framed Honesty Policy – Boldly display your business commitment and customer service policy by the door or on your written materials. I don’t know if we need to do this in direct sales… what I do share with my customers is the CELEBRATE – ENCOURAGE – REWARD mission of the company as well as some of our bass principles.  I think that is the best way to share our policy.
• Create an honesty motto – For example: We are true to our customer’s needs.  Proverbs 31 says it all “we CELEBRATE – ENCOURAGE – REWARD hardworking women who take care of everyone else but seldom take car of themselves?

Be honest with your customers and your hostess.  If you messed up – ADMIT it!  They will appreciate the honesty.  Need cue cards or are nervous at a party – share that so potential recruits know you are not perfect.  If we are viewed as “perfect” at our job, others hesitate to join thinking they can’t do the job as well.

How do you promote honesty in your business? Would love to read your ideas in the comments below.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!