Did you start humming the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”? I do every time I see or hear this line. Have you ever wanted some of the “pink kool-aid” people who are alway happy take? You must know someone who always seems to be happy, I have one or two people I know like that.
When I am not having a MS flare up (of the depression kind), I am pretty much a happy go lucky kind of gal. Yes, I have times of sadness, anger, frustrate – don’t we all? I mean if we didn’t have a variety of emotions we would be “like a wet noodle” or a “block of stone”.
I will be the first to admit, on days when depression hits I enter a black hole where there sees to be no way out. It can last for an hour, a day, a week and sadly there are times when it can last for longer. You know those times when even the simplest word will make you cry. Key the song “Cry Me a River”. LOL. Thank you to “Modern Day Girl” for inspiring this post.
1. They don’t dwell on the past.
I know I do especially on a bad day. The shoulda, coulda, woulda kick in and the path into the black hole gets deeper. What happens when you start with the stinkin’ thinkin’? Things get worse instead of better, right?
So how do you stop yourself from dwelling on the past? Remember “It takes 21 days to make or break a habit”. So you need to change your mindset. Your mind is a powerful thing and you can control how you think, and it’s not hard either. When you focus on the here and now, it becomes easier to get rid of the old bad habits.
FIRST, recognize you’re dwelling on past situations. I know, easier said then done. When you spend time being more aware of your thoughts, it is easier to change your mindset. Like a new habit, once you start it becomes easier over time. When you’re aware you are dwelling on thoughts of the past, you can work on ignoring them, or replacing them with focus on the here and now.
2. They focus on the here and now
When you get rid of the thoughts from your past, you can dwell more on the here and now. I have been told meditation helps and will teach you how to focus on your breathing and what is around you. I haven’t mastered this yet but I haven’t given up. Here are some ways meditation and yoga (still need to try this) can help:
- When you’re focusing on the past, you’re distracted.
- We miss moments in our lives which may have been the happiest.
- When we let our thoughts control us , we feel unbalanced
- When we’re aware of our surroundings, we feel more empathetic towards others, have high self-esteem, and can reduce impulsivity (reducing mental health issues – Psychologytoday.com)
So, if meditation and yoga aren’t for you, find a way to focus on the here and now. Journal your thoughts. Take a few minutes to “zone” out. I like to sit outside and watch the clouds float by, imagining it is all of my past floating away. I guess my own form of meditation.
3. They recharge
Recharging is something we all need to do. For happy people, it is part of the every day life. Not sure what this means? Well, it means different things to different people. Think about what you like to do in your spare time? I know, what spare time, right? I’ve been there. The truth is having a chronic disease has helped to me identify when I need to recharge. It is usually a SMACK but I am learning to stop and rest. Maybe one of these will work for you:
- A good book and a cup of coffee
- A nap
- Exercise of some kind
- Drawing
- Writing/scribbling
- Painting
- Spending time in a spa
- Eating chocolate in front of the TV
- Pretty much anything that makes you happy
The truth is, we live our lives in overdrive, always rushing to the next thing. Our bodies need time to relax and recharge. How happy are you when your schedule is jammed full with no time for fun? Probably not very, right?
If you feel like you don’t have time for yourself, make time. I know it’s hard, believe me I get it. I was a single mom working full-time but you need to schedule time. Maybe when the kids are napping, grab the book you’ve been meaning to read. Or on your lunch break at work – read your favourite magazine (whether online or paper).
Happy people value their time and know cultivating happiness is important.
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
Hope Wissel 