Unclutter Your Life

Want to Sound More Confident?

I don’t read a lot of books, since I have a hard time remembering BUT I do love the core principles Valerie Burton outlined in her book, Successful Women Think Differently.  

Your thoughts create your actions.  I have said it a million times, think negative thoughts and more negative things happen.  Think positive thoughts and more positive things happen.  For me, sometimes I don’t realize I am thinking negative thoughts.  Crazy, right?  How many times have the words “don’t” or “need” or “won’t” been in your thoughts?  The Universe seldom hears things after these words.  I never really understood it until I started a list of positive mantras and read them every morning.  I claim the things I want and I am getting them – slowly but they are coming.

When you become aware of what you are saying to yourself about things, you can consciously decide if the thought is moving you toward your goals or farther away. Thoughts don’t just lead you to take actions,  your thoughts also shape the sound of your voice. Yes, the tone of our internal voices will reflect on the outside and others will see it.

Our voice is an expression of our internal state. If our internal state is anxious and you think danger is imminent, our voice will reflect anxiety. I have seen this play out so many times.  On the inside, I am stressing about money, relationships, business or whatever – on the outside, I am snappy and tense.  Our body responds to our thoughts.  No matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to hide it.

Here is the “technical reason”: The sound of your voice is regulated by the vagus nerve, which is central to the parasympathetic nervous system. When the vagus nerve is stimulated, which can happen as a fight-or-flight response to anxiety-producing thoughts, the vocal cord muscle spasms. This can cause your voice to quiver or ‘sound nervous’. Additionally, when stressed or nervous, you typically don’t breathe deeply. As a result, you don’t have the air which creates the pressure needed for a strong, consistent voice quality.

How can you change things to sound more confident?

1. Become aware of your thoughts and redirect counterproductive ones. Basically, go from a negative thought to a positive one.  Instead of “No one wants to book parties” or “It is taking so long to pay off my debt”, intentionally change the thought.  If you can, change your environment – go for a walk, a ride or just sit out in the sunshine and watch the clouds.  Choose a new thought – like “I am a booking machine” or “I have enough money to pay off my debt”.  Do something (anything) to get your mind moving in a new direction.

2. Exercise. Exercise purges negative energy.  It is true.  I don’t mean you have to go to the gym to exercise, unless you want to.  For me, it means a walk around the block or some housecleaning or turn on the music and dance.

3. Practice. We have heard most of our lives “practice makes perfect”.  While we aren’t looking for perfection, we are looking to feel confident.  Need to do a presentation in from of a group and you feel uncomfortable or anxious – practice what you are going to say in advance. Some will say you should even record it and listen to find the areas where you want to improve. Take a video on your phone or have someone else film you.  Then watch it back.  Don’t be overly hard on yourself, just look for ways to improve.  You don’t need to be PERFECT but you want to get rid of the nervous energy.

4. Hydrate. Hydration alleviates dry mouth. Drink water before or during important conversations.  In the beginning of talking to a group of any size, I am nervous.  I usually ask for a glass of water or keep a bottle of water handy.  When I feel like I am talking too fast or my nervousness is showing, I stop, take a sip of water, breathe and move on.  It really does make a difference.  It is like the water washes away the nervousness.

5. Talk it out. This one is tough for me because when I have the negative thoughts and I try to share them, I get emotional.  I have been blessed with friends, old and new, who help me to put my negative thinking into perspective.  Be careful and choose wisely.  Be sure you pick someone to share with who will help put the negative thoughts into perspective restoring a sense of confidence and calm.

These are some basic steps which will help, I know because I continue to practice all of them at some point in my life.  As you become more aware of the negative thoughts, you will be able to convert them to  positive thoughts and actions to help you move forward.

What thoughts make you anxious and chip away at your confidence?

Business Tips and Tricks

Commitment Creates Miracles

Thank you Patty Lennon for the inspiration and tips for today’s post.

Every month I set goals both personally and in my business.  Sometimes they are achieved while other times they seem too far to even consider.  As many of you know earning Thirty One’s Leadership Incentive trip was a goal which had eluded me for years and this year, I was committed to earning it and guess what I did.  What was the difference this year?  This year seemed so much easier than the past.  The requirements weren’t any easier, in fact, some would say they were tougher.

Then I received an email from Patty which shed some light on to what it was which made the difference. So, if you are looking to change any aspect of your life this process has worked pretty consistently for Patty (and now for me).

1. Decide to succeed.

There is a goal you are striving for right now which is deeply personal and vital to you. Remove the possibility of NOT succeeding from your mind right now. This means each time you fall down, you get back up because any failure is temporary.

I wanted to earn this trip as a gift for hubby for our 5th wedding anniversary.  I wanted him to experience my “pink bubble” so he would understand why it is so important to me.  So, in my mind success became inevitable. I was no longer willing to NOT succeed. Which leads to …

2. Get Support.

When you are reaching for a goal you have not achieved before whether it’s growing your business to a new level, changing your health or improving your relationships you will do far better if you have help.  Who can support you in achieving your goal?

I shared my goal with my team, my customers and basically anyone who would listen.  They celebrated and encouraged me with each “star” earned.  My accountability partner pushed me to keep going even when Negative Nellie stopped for a visit.

3. Don’t Give Up.

Whatever goal is most important to you right now it is critical you not give up, especially if the goal is related to your business. In my business most things fail the first time – whether it’s a new message, promotion or marketing campaign. It is NORMAL.  Everyone falls down. Your choice (and the choice which defines those who succeed) is whether you get back up.  Everything is possible when you make the decision to succeed. No matter what happens do not give up!

So now LIT is earned, what is next for me and my business?  I will admit the last two weeks have been a struggle to get back on track.  I actually thought the roller coaster ride of earning the trip would keep me motivated but the truth is, it isn’t.  So I am working on a new goal.  Of course Thirty One has helped by adding another incentive – Wishes Come True…. 

I am going follow this same process again in my business.  PLUS, I am going to apply it to my weight loss journey to see what happens.  I am just 18 pounds away from being back at goal weight so it is non-negotiable.  I want to celebrate reaching my goal and not look back.

The truth is “the Divine will light your path with miracles to make it easier as you go.”  Send your positive energy into the Universe.  What is your goal?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Unclutter Your Life

Changing Your Intent Will Change Your Situation

Happy Monday! You have the CHOICE to make today whether to have a good day or a bad day?  Which will it be? Struggling with the Monday morning blues?  Let’s shift your mindset so you can change the way the day or week will go….

One of my goals every day is to show up in my life – in my relationships, my work, my finances, and with my health.  Am I always successful? NO!  Do I keep trying? YES!  Why?  Because when I continue to show up reflecting who I want to be, I begin to see changes in my life making it easier to reach my goals.

What is challenging for you right now?  Is it work?  Your marriage/ relationships? Finances?  What if you could change the intent to see if it changes the situation.  Pick one area of your life you would like to see a change.

For example, if work is challenging for you right now, you could set an intention for how you want to show up at work:

“My intention is to maintain my calm and peace in the midst of the storm going on at work.”

“My intention is to keep making calls to customers despite the answering machines or negative attitude some may have”

A simple change in your mindset will help you change your response when things get frustrating during the day.  Not sure you will remember your intention?  I know it is hard when you are in the moment of chaos.  How about setting a reminder on your phone (hourly, multiple times, whatever) to remind you of your intention?  Know you are going to be in a stressful situation, set the reminder for about 15 minutes BEFORE the meeting or event to take you mind from the negative to the positive.  I do this on days when I am struggling with depression, it helps to clear my head of Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie.  

Changing your intention will also change the way others respond to you.  Changing your intention will change how situations unfold.  The best part is changing your intention  is it will allow opportunities to find you. You will be feeding the Universe with your positive energy.  Positive attracts positive, right?

What is your intention for this week?  What would happen if the best version of you showed up all week, you know the one you are proud of?

Imagine for a moment what it would look like to show up as your most powerful, authentic self in whatever situation you are struggling with…. what would change?

Share your thoughts with us..

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

CRUNCH Time with a Positive Attitude

Well, here it is the last day of the month. For those in direct sales, this is CRUNCH time.  Now I don’t mean the sit-up kind – I mean that race to the last minute to meet our personal and team goals for the month.

crunch

“It is the way that we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” ~Dale Carnegie

For the leaders in Thirty One, we are ending the month not only reaching for our personal and team goals but we are also working hard to earn that FREE trip to the Riviera Maya in September.  Many have already earned the trip and I am so excited for them.  There are some of us who are still dreaming BIG and reaching for the goal.

So, what does that have to do with a positive attitude?  It is easy to feel envious as others are reaching their goals and seem to be growing at a pace that you have dreamed of for so long.  It is easy to let Doubtful Debbie and Negative Nellie step in and take over, crushing your dreams and your enthusiasm.

Here are some things that I have learned recently – yes, just recently, that are helping me to be optimistic and continue pushing for the dream till the very last minute.

Focus on yourself.  This has always been a tough one for me because I have been playing the comparison game since high school.  The truth is that it is unproductive, takes up energy and in the end can send off some negative vides to the people around us.  Realize that there is nothing you can to do to change events outside your control. What you can do, however, is find ways to make changes in your own life.  Step out of your comfort zone.  Read a self-development book.  Fill your calendar with positive,  productive things.  Set small goals and reward yourself when you achieve them.

Things are not always what they seem.  Does the grass look greener on the other side?  Of course but the question is “Is it?”.  The truth is that everyone’s life has both good and bad.  It’s unrealistic to compare our own lives, which we know inside out, to the shiny, clean surface of someone else’s.  But how many of us have done this?

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  Okay, so I am NOT a runner.  I was always falling behind but I did always finish.  The truth is the only one who I was falling behind were my own expectations.    What about you?  Do you except too much of yourself?  Do you worry that you will never catch up to everyone else? We are each running our own marathon.  We will be winners no matter when we cross the finish line.

Envy is an unproductive feeling but it’s perfectly natural and happens to everyone.  The difference is how we deal with it.  Will we let it consume our lives to the point of being unhealthy and make us helpless?  Will it crush our positive attitude or will it cause us to fight harder for what we want?

I am learning to change the negative into a positive.  I am taking steps to by putting out a detailed action plan and implementing it.  I am learning from others’ successes and difficulties.  I am applying them as lessons in my own life.

Time to CRUNCH numbers.  I am positive that Personal Volume and Team sales goals will be met.  I am not sure about the trip to Mexico but it is okay.  I am learning that there is a reason for everything and there is always next year.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Do You Have Issues

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 (NIV)

Have you ever wondered, “How does everyone else have it all together? And why is it I seem to have so many issues?”

I get it…. for most of my life I struggled with weight, addictions (of one kind or another) and lack of confidence.  I would keep trying but in some areas I just kept failing,

  • I wanted the magic wand to sweep over my life and make things better.
  • I wanted to stop being a Negative Nellie.
  • I wanted to be thin and healthy.
  • I wanted to be confident never doubting my abilities
  • I wanted to succeed at everything I tried

You get the picture, right? My magic wand never appeared but I have achieved some successes:

  • I reached goal weight and through the struggle have managed to keep off over 100 pounds.
  • Negative Nellie doesn’t visit as much and when she does, I am able to push her out the door and lock it behind her.
  • My business is continuing to grow and I am successful
  • My confidence some days is shaky but they are fewer and far between

I have realized that I have wasted ALOT of time wishing things would change.  All the while, I was beating myself up for not having the discipline to make changes.

When I finally “let go and let God“, things slowly started to change.  The hardest thing for me was to stop beating myself up about my shortcomings and determine to follow God’s lead.  Easier said then done.

We like to identify our shortcomings, form them into a club, and beat the tar out of ourselves mentally. Over and over and over again. We label ourselves and soon lose our real identity to the beaten and bruised fragility we call “me.”

We compare, we assume, we assess, we measure and most times walk away shaking our head at how woefully short our “me” falls compared to everyone else. 

It has taken my 50 plus years but I am learning that “All God’s girls have issues. Every single one of us.”   Now I make the choice to identify my shortcomings and instead of using them against myself, I hand them over to Jesus.

My mental scripts are too often full of exaggerated lies that leave me feeling defeated.  Jesus doesn’t compare.  Jesus doesn’t exaggerate.  Jesus doesn’t condemn. 

Jesus simply says, “Hey, I love you. I love you just how you are. But, I love you too much to leave you stuck in this. So, let’s work on it together. You can do this.

Amazing things happen when I truly believe that with Jesus’ help I can do this. Say it with me, “I can.” I can is a powerful little twist for a girl feeling deprived and defeated.

If I BELEVE…I have the confidence to find the conversation more appealing than the food table at a party.  It helps me stay on the perimeter of the grocery store where the fresher, healthier selections abound.

Having issues is simply a call to action. Today is a great day to start believing you were made to walk in victory and to say to Jesus, “Yes, with Your truth as my guide, I can.”

Enjoy your day of relax, reflect and recharge.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!