Hope Wissel

Are You Good Enough?

sparkle

Do you know what day it is????  Well, if it is Hump Day – it must be WOOHOO Wednesday, right?  Today, we CELEBRATE and ENCOURAGE you to let you SPARKLE.

We all have inner gremlins.  Have you ever wondered how you can prevent that “inner gremlin” of low self-esteem from creeping in and setting up camp?  Have you ever felt like “I’m not good enough”?  Have you ever thought “I can’t do that”?  Tidbits of negative beliefs creep in every day even when we least expect it.

For some, they quickly turn it around, slamming the door on that inner gremlin.  Then others let the negative thought simmer for a moment before kicking it to the curb. Then there are some who let that negative thought of “I’m not good enough” ruin their entire day.  So where do you fall in the spectrum of stomping out this inner gremlin?

slaying IG

When self-doubt creeps in here are some tips that might help:

1. Remember that “Life is perfectly imperfect”.

Strive for personal excellence instead of perfection. When we try to be perfect, we set ourself up for failure and Negative Nelly starts to creep in.  Look for a personal best that works for you and when you reach it – CELEBRATE!

2. Positive thinking is your decision.

Yes, you get to decide if you want to allow positive thinking to come to your rescue when negativity is banging on the door.  To turn things around, you must have faith, release the fear, and keep your focus on solutions. Positive thinking can improve any situation, no matter how awful it may appear.

3. Everyone makes mistakes!

Yes, EVERYONE! The real truth is that mistakes teach us and allow us to grow. Mistakes are evidence we are trying and doing the best we can.  As we learn and grow from our mistakes, we begin to see more success in our life. Success takes work and mistakes are part of that.

4. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

You’re doing the best you can.  Your light is shining, no matter how small the flame.  Think of a flower garden – every flower blooms at it’s own pace and shows it’s unique beauty. Continue reaching for the light, and much like the flower, your life will come into bloom as well.

5. You deserve your own unconditional love and forgiveness.

“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.”- Max Ehrmann

By letting go of bitterness, resentment and negative feelings; you can move to forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Forgiveness allows you to “love YOU no matter what”. It will lead you to more positive feelings of understanding, compassion and empathy, allowing you to embrace the experience.

6. You can’t always change things, but you can ALWAYS change the way you look at things.

This moment, this negative thought was created by a collection of past thoughts, words and actions.
The bottom line is that times can get tough – but you need to believe that you’re tougher.

When you believe you ARE good enough to create the life you desire, and you believe that YOU ARE good enough to make it through any situation. Amazing things happen.  The way you look at things suddenly change, and before you know it, your reality positively changes with it.

Now, who was it that said you’re not good enough?

Hope you have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel

Is Your Cup Empty?

 

Worker-on-Monday

Happy Monday… I have to be honest, I am kind of feeling like this today.  Not my usual self.

I had an AWESOME “Better Together” event yesterday with some inspiring Thirty One consultants.  My cup is always filled when I get to CELEBRATE – ENCOURAGE – REWARD other women who are reaching for the stars.  It inspires me to kick my business into gear.

The “dragging” me is thinking about the JOB! Yes, that part-time job that has become full-time over the last 2 months.  It looks like it is going to go on for another month – UGH!  I know that the extra money is great but money is not a carrot for me.  Crazy, right?  I realize every day how much I miss working my own business and seeing the smiles on the face of others.  So, in addition to some really important doctors’ appointments this week, I am juggling  my business, my JOB and non-profit work.

I can see how my cup will be emptied this week with little hope of getting filled if I don’t have a plan.  So, my calendar will include some time dedicated to filling my cup.

Thank you Valerie Burton for these tips on self-love and things I can do this week to fill my cup:

#1 – Let go of energy-draining situations and friendships.

The best thing I can do in your life is to fill it with loving, peaceful relationships and situations.  I have leaned this the hard way of the years.  No drama for me this week!

#2 – Give yourself permission to pursue your passion.

I am scheduling time to do work that brings me joy!  I give myself permission to follow my dream.   I am going to give myself joy as I bring a smile to the face of someone else.

#3 Know what nourishes your spirit and make sure you get plenty.

This is HUGE for me right now as I adjust to some health issues.  Since I don’t think I ever learned how to rest, I am going to spend time in prayer and with a good book. This will help to add some pep in my step.

#4 Acknowledge yourself for a job well done.

Given the crazy week that I will have, I am sure that I will forget to do this.  So, my goal is to fill my “good things that happened” block in my planner with kudos of a job well-done by ME!

#5 Talk back to your negative inner critic.

I was recently called a “gremlin slayer” and that title is more precious to me than many I have received over the years.  It means that I am ready to STOMP out the negatives and embrace the positives so that I can live abundantly.  What about you?

#6 Be patient and kind.

Patience is not one of my strong points.  I have those traits when it comes to others but rarely with myself.  I am practicing patience with myself as I change and grow.  I am learning to be kind to myself as I persevere

Join me in keeping our cups full as well give to others so freely, let’s give to ourselves FIRST.

I challenge to you this week (I’m going to do it too)

Do something loving for yourself. Practice a random act of kindness and love towards someone else.

Don’t let yourself go until there’s nothing left. Pouring out for others is great, but don’t forget to fill the cup for you.

Let’s make this our Monday:

monday morning

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Your Sweet Spot

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:6-8 (NIV)

Do you think of yourself as ordinary? Nothing special. Forgettable.  Maybe you are an average student.  Maybe you are a “behind the scenes” kind of person.  Maybe you never really stood out in your job or your life.  Despite all of these “nots”, do you keep moving forward?

SweetSpot

Are you still looking for your sweet spot?  That place where your greatest passion and talents or abilities intersect.    Its the special place where we feel most called, the thing that we love, that thing that we’re great at that makes life worth living.  Living in the sweet spot means having the courage to follow your dreams, take risks and work harder than we ever thought to accomplish our goals.

Finding this spot is not always easy.  I have been on a mission to find mine for some time now.  Just when I think I found it – life throws me a curve.  Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie visit reminding me that my gifts are not as good as “others”.  I push the RESET button and remind myself that all gifts are essential whether they are in the spotlight or behind the scenes.

I am at a fork in the road. The point where I have to merge what I enjoy (my Thirty One business) and what I believe that I am truly good at (encouraging, raising money and making people smile) with my dreams of financial freedom and helping others.  I know you are all thinking, it is a party-plan business so it is easy.  Book, Sell Recruit – those are the basics of a successful business; if you do that, you will have found your sweet spot.  For me, it isn’t that easy.  Of maybe it is and I just am complicating things.

Finding my sweet spot has been messy, learning how to embrace the God-given talents I already have, rather than those I wish I had. Does this sound like any of you?

Are you fearless?  Will you dare to take the plunge, even when it means risking failure? Philippians 4:13 reminds us: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (NKJV)

I need to remember, as I am sure you do that we will make mistakes. We will mess up. We may have to admit defeat. Through it all, we need to keep going. We need to use those defeats as opportunities to discover what doesn’t work, but always persevere.

Each of us has a sweet spot.  It is there, waiting for you, even if you haven’t quite found it yet.  Ask for help to discover the gifts and talents you have been given.  Ask for help finding that place where passion and abilities intersect.  With God’s help, you can find it and you can do the work that you have been called to do.

Share your sweet spot with us so that we can CELEBRATE together.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel

Dear X

conference 2013

Throwback Thursday – Thirty One’s National Conference in 2013.  A year filled with mixed emotions.  Humbled that I had reached my goal.  Excitement combined with nervousness as I walked the stage as a NEW Director.  Hurt and discouraged as Satan gained a stronghold in my life because of someone’s hateful words.  I remember the saying  “Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you”.  REALLY????  Here I am almost 2 years later and Satan continues to use those words as a stronghold in my life.  I know you are saying “let it go” already, right?

For the average person, they can toss those words aside and move on.  Some can turn it over to God and let him handle it.  Some can grab hold of their successes and run with it.  Some will even use it as motivation to move forward and prove them wrong.  Then there are some like me….

You see the speaker of the hateful words succeeding and all of sudden you begin believing the what was said.  You doubt your abilities.  The old tape plays again – maybe they were right.

So, I am going to try something NEW.  Something that I learned in rehab so many years ago.  I am going to write a letter to that person and then bury it or burn it.  I remember doing this to rid myself of the guilt and hurt feelings of my addiction so why couldn’t it work now, right?

Dear X:

You may not know it but your “negative” words on my special night HURT!  You made me feel like MY accomplishments were not my own. You made me feel like I did nothing to earn  my new title.  You made me feel like I would never be able to reach another goal.  You made me feel like you were better than I was.  You made me feel like my success was a result of YOUR work and not my own.  Without knowing it, you scarred me for the last two years. On my good days, I truly believe that you don’t even remember what you said.

I have watched your success and I CELEBRATE with you.  I ENCOURAGE you.  I have prayed for you.  I have watched you grow personally and professionally.  All of this time, I have measured my success against yours.  Satan has played the tapes too many times – “you will never be as good as she is”.  

I have played the comparison game for way too long. It is time to finally let it go.  I have tried many times but then SMACK the words come back to haunt me.  NO MORE!  We each have our own talents.  God has a plan for each of us and I am turning this over to him for the last time!

Today, I will REWARD myself with the gift of self love combined with a feeling of relief from those hurtful words.  Goodbye!!!  I am erasing these tapes and replacing them with “I am irreplaceable.” “I am worthy of my success”.  I am moving forward with my business – growing and building one step at a time.

What is the ONE thing that you want to say good bye to?  What is the thing that is holding you back from reaching your full potential?  As silly as it sounds, write it (or the person) a letter.  Don’t send it but tear it up when you are done after you have read it out loud.  Burn it.  Bury it.  Do whatever it takes to kill it!

Share the one thing you are burying today… let’s encourage each other to grow into the person that God wants us to be.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

Change Your Thoughts

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”~Norman Vincent Peale

Over the past year, I have said these words probably a MILLION times “I am not good at recruiting new team members”.  I have watched others who are recruiting superstars and tried to study how they did it.  I have listened closely for cues to spot potentially new team members.  But the truth was that no matter how much I wanted new team members, I kept thinking “I am not good at recruiting”.

I made a conscious decision that:

  • Other consultants also struggle with recruiting
  • Other people did not really have a life much better than mine.
  • Others were not really happier than me, smarter than me, and worth more than me.
  • I would stop wishing that I was like someone else.

Have you ever felt like everyone else was doing better than you? Have you ever felt like the deck was so stacked against you that you would never catch up? 

I always dream big, but I seem to be unable to make those plans a reality because of the story I told myself.  As long as I continued to tell myself that negative story, I would continue to be not enough. The truth was there wasn’t a problem with my business there was a problem with the story that I was telling myself about my business.  My story about not being good enough showed itself in every aspect of my life—my job, my family, and my social life.  WOW!  Does that sound like YOU?

Did you know that the current state of your life is a direct result of the stories you tell yourself, and what you really believe is possible—not what you say is possible, but what you believe deep down in your core.

Okay, so you are wondering what I did differently, right?

I changed the story.  I have heard it a million times but this week, it clicked (again) “If you change the limiting stories you tell yourself, you will be able to change your life.”

I shifted my story to “I am as good as anyone else and I deserve it just as much as anyone else. ”  So, how could a VERY simple change in the words change things.  I didn’t just say them, I actually started believing what I was saying.  I looked for evidence that the story was true and I was amazed at what I found.

When I looked at my life objectively I realized that I’d actually accomplished quite a bit. I had helped in open an Atlantic City casino.  I had been successful in my career in the non-profit world.  I helped to change lives as a Social Worker.  I had started my own Thirty One business and I had a growing team.  I reached my goal as director and was consistent in sales and parties.  I always am kind and helpful to others. These are some of the things that, in my eyes, made me just as good as anyone else.

The comparison bug had attached itself onto one component of my life and as a direct result was infecting all aspects of my life.  Has the comparison bug bit you?

Why not be kind to yourself :

  • Things won’t change overnight. You can change your story but that doesn’t mean that you will suddenly have millions of dollars in your bank account the next morning.  You will recognize the opportunities that will get you there.
  • Don’t be angry with yourself or the universe if it doesn’t happen fast enough for you, or if you fail to make the changes you want all once. Taking small steps in the right direction every day will get you were you need to be. It’s important to be consistent.
  • Don’t beat yourself up if you fall back into old habits. We are usually our biggest critics. Just pick yourself up and start again. If you keep moving forward, you will get to your goal.

So, who is ready to change their story?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!