Do you hate hearing the word NO? I know I do whether it is in my business or in my personal life. No matter what, I usually take it personally. Crazy, right? I mean when I ask someone to join my team or host a party and they say NO, does it really mean they don’t like me? Probably not. They just aren’t interested in the “offer”.
I love this analogy…. Do you think a waiter/waitress gets upset or takes it personal when they offer you desert and you say no? Do you think they stop offering? No, they just keep asking and eventually someone will say YES!
How often does the fear of hearing the word “no” stop you in your tracks? As a result you keep your ideas to yourself. Or maybe you hold back from asking for what you want (or need)? Or maybe you never step out of your comfort zone? Whatever the fear keeps you from doing, it has definitely led you into living a life of regret.
Do you know someone who is resilient? Do you know someone who no matter what keeps moving forward to reach their goal? Do you long to be the person who doesn’t take NO personally?
Here are four ways to change the way you see the word “no” so you keep moving forward, don’t get your feelings hurt, and get up the courage to try again:
1. Other’s rejection can be heaven-sent protection.
Yes, sometimes a “no” deserves a happy dance. Believe it or not, the Universe might have just saved you. Think of it as if you just dodged a bullet you didn’t even know was coming. Rejoice! You’ve just been saved from a boatload of problems. I know it is tough to do but with practice, it gets easier.
2. Don’t take things personally.
Okay, so I won’t lie this is so hard for me – the proverbial people pleaser. I have to remind myself (more often then I want to admit) what others say and do is not about me; it is about them. Every once in a while I need the gentle kick in the butt as a reminder “the world does not revolve around me”! I don’t intentionally think like this but it happens or at least my actions seem as if I think this way. Admit it, I am not alone! When we understand everything truly is not about us – it takes away the personal aspect, it frees us up to accept you can get caught in the path of other people’s battles and issues which have nothing to do with YOU – your abilities, or your worth.
3. You deserve to be in relationship with people who want to be in relationship with you.
So true for personal and professional relationships. If you have to chase a someone, there is an imbalance. As a result, your contribution to the relationship is valued as less than what someone else brings to the relationship. This is when feelings of rejection and unworthiness are repeatedly reinforced throughout the relationship. Value relationships with people who want to be in relationship with you – who see your worth, who respect and value you, your time, your strengths. When you decide you deserve this, you won’t see “no” as rejection. No will be a sign the relationship will not offer you the balance you desire.
4. “No” today doesn’t mean “no” forever.
Timing is key. I tell my team this all of the time. After 6 plus years in direct sales, if I stopped asking everyone who said no to me if they wanted to have a party; I would be out of business! This is how we start to build relationships with potential customers, hostesses and team members. You need to keep the doors of communication open. When they say “no”, I usually ask a few more questions to understand why they said no. Then I ask them if I can reach out again and ask. They will usually respond with a “yes”. The door is still open allowing you to figure out how to get to a “yes” the next time.
Situations are different with everyone – someone struggle with hearing the word no in their business but keep moving forward when it is in their personal life. For others, the reverse is true. There are even those who can’t handle the word “no” in any part of their life. The key is to not take it personally.
I challenge you this week to not let a “rejection” leave you feeling bad about yourself. Change the “no” into something which will empower you to keep moving forward to reach your goal.
What is a “no” you haven’t been able to bounce back from? Can you use any of these tips to help you move forward? Change the negative to a positive….Share it with us
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!