Notice Others in a Selfie World

Thank you Arlene Pellicane for today’s message:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. ~ Philippians 2:3-4, NIV.

My daughter Noelle and I were sightseeing in New York City. One highlight was rocketing up 102 stories in a mere 47 seconds inside the elevator of the Freedom Tower. Once at the top, we looked for a good spot to take in the glorious view. I couldn’t help but notice two teenage girls taking up a large space in the very front.

The problem was they were not even looking at the city below. They were posing for selfies – lots of them! They laid on the floor and posed. They struck different standing poses and snapped. I walked around and returned to that same spot about ten minutes later. They were still there! Posing in pursuit of the perfect selfie with New York City in the background.

I doubt they noticed the other people who would have liked to snap a picture where they had set up camp. I wondered why they didn’t turn around and enjoy the panoramic view with their God given eyes instead of the phone screen. With screens taking center stage, women can be obsessed with capturing the perfect photo to show the world.

Yet Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” Selfish ambition is a work of the flesh, not of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:26 (NIV) instructs, “Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each another.”

Does that mean it’s wrong to pose for a selfie? No – it can be a perfectly appropriate way to capture a moment. But there is cause for concern if you find that…

-You are overly concerned with portraying yourself a certain way to impress others

-You take numerous photos of the same pose to get it just right

-You compare your selfie to others and take mental notes on how you can improve yours

-You feel conceited when you see how favorable you look compared to others

-You are more interested in taking a selfie than meeting someone new or talking with an acquaintance

The Bible tells us to value others above ourselves. When we place the lens of our focus on the needs of others (instead of our own interests), we are having the same mindset as Jesus Christ. Popular culture fights against this notion. “Selfie” wasn’t even a word in the dictionary until 2013 but it’s commonplace today. The constant tracking of self can lead to a growing indifference towards others. The bigger we become inside the frame, the smaller everyone else becomes.

When you walk into a room, do you take the attitude of “Here I am!” or do you step in the doorway and think, “Ah, there you are!” Turning our “selfie” focus into an “others” focus takes practice and intention. God calls us to be “There you are!” people, women who are genuinely interested in others. But we live in a selfie world that caters to our natural instinct to preserve and exalt ourselves.

It’s time to switch things up. Instead of spending too much time preparing the perfect selfie, let’s quickly snap a picture of ourselves and then spend the bulk of our time focused on others. That view is much more meaningful.

Remember the teenage girls from the Freedom Tower? They walked out with some great selfies, but they never really took the time to take in the view. They missed out. Don’t miss the amazing people and things happening around you because you’re focused on your phone. Make it your daily practice to notice others in a selfie world.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Birthday Reflection

Happy Birthday – to ME! Since today is my 58th birthday, I am reflecting on the many blessings in my life. First, I am grateful that I actually woke up this morning and am able to enjoy the day – whatever it may bring.

My favorite adult birthday memory was a “surprise party” that Belinda planned for me with the help of her two great aunts – Edythe and Elsie. It was for my 40th birthday and my FIRST surprise party. It was a special day for two reasons – it was Belinda’s idea and it was the first time that my divorced parents were in the same room at the same time. Belinda was all of 9 years old so it was amazing that she got the whole thing together. Of course, the fact that I arrived in sweats and a tee shirt because I thought I was “stopping by” to help with something at the fire house was a little horrifying but funny since I almost didn’t arrive at the party. When I arrived, Belinda started to cry because she took the look of surprise for a look of “being mad” and didn’t understand that the tears were tears of joy. The next was the decorations – “OVER THE HILL” theme everywhere. Belinda picked them out. So the standing joke is if I was “over the hill at 40” what am I now? It was a great day and I was overwhelmed by the love from family and friends.

As a child, there are lots of memories of birthday celebrations. One of things that I looked forward to each year was the annual trip to New York City to see the Ringling Brothers and Barnum Bailey Circus. This annual tradition was a treat from Edythe and Elsie. It included the circus and dinner in NY. I always felt so grown up!  Both of them are now our guardians angels in heaven.

Birthdays are milestones in our lives. For many years during my addictions and then even in my recovery, I saw “birthdays” as just another day or “I am too old to celebrate birthdays” and I even said that on many occasions. Today, I am looking at them a little differently.  TODAY is a gift from God to be able to spend another day with family and friends. The celebration doesn’t need to be big, it doesn’t need to have lots of presents (one or two, maybe – LOL) and it definitely NEEDS to include thanks for the many blessings that I have been given through the years. I was blessed with a family that loves and supports me despite our many faults. I have been blessed with a child who has grown into an amazing woman. I have been blessed with a husband who loves me unconditionally despite how crazy I make him. These are the gifts that I celebrate on my birthday this year.

Happy Birthday to me! Hope you have ThirtyOne-derful day!

Birthday Reflection

Happy Birthday – to ME!  Since today is my 56th birthday, I am reflecting on the many blessings of my life.  First, I am grateful that I actually woke up this morning and am able to enjoy the day – whatever it may bring.  

My favorite adult birthday memory was a “surprise party” that Belinda planned for me with the help of her two great aunts – Edythe and Elsie.  It was for my 40th birthday and my FIRST surprise party.  It was a special day for two reasons – it was Belinda’s idea and it was the first time in too many years that my divorced parents were in the same room at the same time.  Belinda was all of 9 years old so it was amazing that she got the whole thing together.  Of course, the fact that I arrived in sweats and a tee shirt because I thought I was “stopping by” to help with something at the fire house was a little horrifying but funny since I almost didn’t arrive at the party.  When I arrived, Belinda started to cry because she took the look of surprise for a look of “being mad” and didn’t understand that the tears were tears of joy. The next was the decorations – “OVER THE HILL” theme everywhere.  Belinda picked them out.  So the standing joke is if I was “over the hill at 40” what am I now?  It was a great day and I was overwhelmed by the love from family and friends.

As a child, there are lots of memories of birthday celebrations.  One of things that I looked forward to each year was the annual trip to New York City to see the Ringling Brothers and Barnum Bailey Circus.  This annual tradition was a treat from Edythe and Elsie.  It included the circus and dinner in NY.  I always felt so grown up!  This year, I am getting a chance to see the circus in North Carolina with Belinda and hubby.  I am excited because I haven’t been to a Ringling Brothers Circus since I was about 13 years old.  I am sure there may be a tear or two that day for Belinda used to go to the circus with Edythe and Elsie too.  Both of them are now our guardians angels in heaven.  If I figure out how to post pictures on this blog – I will share some.

Birthdays are milestones in our lives. For many years during my addictions and then even in my recovery, I saw “birthdays” as just another day or “I am too old to celebrate birthdays” – I even said that on many occasions.  Today, I am looking at them a little differently – have I grown up?  have I learned that I deserve to celebrate (even in a small way) my birthday?  I am not sure what the reason is but TODAY is the day that I stop saying “it is just another day”.  It is a gift from God  to be able to spend another day with family and friends.  The celebration doesn’t need to be big, it doesn’t need to have lots of presents (one or two, maybe – LOL) and it definitely NEEDS to include thanks for the many blessings that I have been given through the years.  I was blessed with a family that loves and supports me despite our many faults.  I have been blessed with a child who has grown into an amazing woman.  I have been blessed with a husband who loves me unconditionally despite how crazy I make him.  These are the gifts that I celebrate on my birthday this year.

Happy Birthday to me!  Hope you have ThirtyOne-derful day!