Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Stop Doubting Your Value

 

Thank you Gwen Smith for today’s message:

I may look confident and put together on the outside (when I’m not in my yoga pants and a ponytail) but on the inside I often wander back to that little girl who questions her value and wants to make a difference.

There are lots of ways this inner struggle presents itself in me …

I tether my value to how I look.
I tether my value to how my jeans fit.
I tether my value to how I perform.
I want my husband and kids to love me perfectly,
even though they can’t.
I want to love others perfectly, but I don’t, so I 
juggle guilt like a hot potato.
I get distracted and waste time, so I feel unproductive.
I want to make a difference, but I try to do too
 much.

The Bible showcases a perfection that I implement pathetically. Like that love chapter in 1 Corinthians that most of us had read at our weddings. Verses like “love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way” (13:4–5 ESV). Wait, what? Geez! The way I love doesn’t even come close to this list! And then the big left hook smacks me hard: “Love never fails” (v. 8).

The magnitude of God’s perfect love is epic. The magnitude of my love is minuscule.

I try to be patient. I try to be kind. I try not to envy or boast. All of it. But my efforts are less than. I stub my toe on my ego all the time. I get edgy and loud. I insist on my own way. And then I beat myself up!

If I were a better mom, I would’ve ____.

If I were a better friend, I would _____.

If I were in better shape, then maybe _____.

If I were more talented, I would be able to _____.

And because I’m not content with my own body, my own behaviors, and my own abilities, I struggle to see how a perfect God can look past my brokenness. I know in my heart that He loves me, but I sometimes struggle to accept that He likes me, because sometimes I don’t even like myself.

These doubts and insecurities cause me to question my value and my ability to make a difference. They cause me to feel insignificant. Invisible and ineffective.

Yet I know that the Bible says the opposite. And because of this, I’m reminded to, instead, tether my value to truths like these:

I was created in the image of God.
I am sealed with the Holy Spirit.
Jesus loved me so much that He endured a horrific death so I could be saved.
These truths matter. And because they matter, they confirm to me that I matter. And they confirm that you matter too.

Don’t think for one little minute that I don’t sense you bristling up. It’s what we girls do when the spotlight of attention is shined on our significance. We shy away. Throw our hands up to shield the light. Contest with our best excuses …

Some of us contend, “I’m really nothing special. That word valuable makes me nervous. My life is less than. Average at best. Mac and cheese is my jam. I drive a minivan, wear ponytails, use off-brand detergent, and live paycheck to paycheck. Where is the value in that?”

Others of us contend, “I cannot believe you’re going to go there! Did you not read my bumper sticker and T-shirt? I am nothing. Jesus is everything. Hide me in the cross and stop trying to make me feel special. Slap! Slap! Slap! Shame on you for even bringing up such a topic of the flesh!”

Some of us acquiesce: “Okay. Let’s talk. I know in my mind that I’m precious to Jesus, but that often gets lost in translation on its way to my heart. Yes. Let’s have this conversation. I want everything God has for me, and I’m ready to move forward as a woman of greater impact.”

Wherever you find yourself in these responses, my prayer is that you will join our last friend with an expectant and curious heart. With a heart that is ready to move forward in the truth of your significance so that you can live out the purpose for which you were created.

 

Cleaning Tips and Tricks

Want to Get to the Next Level?

Do you know how to get to the next level?  No, I am not talking about an online or video game.  I mean if you are striving to reach another level in your business or in life…. Can you guess what it is?

If you said “tell yourself the truth“, you are right!  The funny thing is, most people don’t take the first step.  Why?  Because it is hard.  But the truth is the only thing which will empower you to breakthrough to your highest potential.  Whether the truth is about a bad habit, or the truth about a relationship, or the truth about your circumstances, acknowledging it is freeing.

The next step after facing the truth takes Courage.

I want you to think about the last time you said the phrase

I hate to admit, but _________________________.

We have all said it at some point.  Perhaps you are okay in your career or business, but there is a nagging feeling it is time for a change.  Been there, done that!  Maybe a relationship looks great from the outside, but you know something isn’t quite right.  Or maybe someone has pointed out a problem with your child, and you are defensive because you did your best to teach them,  but if you’re honest, you’ve noticed the same problem.

The reality is this little a phrase allows you to notice the smallest grain of truth just might be surrounded by many positives. It is time to embrace the truth.  It is a chance to address what needs to be addressed.  It is the chance to be open enough to ask for help, find a creative solution, and let go of perfectionism in favor of true happiness.  Remember it is progress NOT perfection we are aiming for.

In order for us to move to the next level, we have to be willing to face the challenges before us instead of ignoring them.  We need to step out of our comfort zone so we can stretch and grow. In the process, we will develop courage and wisdom which will take you to a new a new level.

So what is the grain of truth holding you back in an area where you want to thrive and grow?

For me, it is the lack of confidence combined with the brain fog which keeps me from stepping out of my comfort zone.  For me, the sentence would be:

I hate to admit it, but I still play the comparison game.

UGH!  An ugly truth but I am so ready to take the step to change it.  So, how did you complete the sentence?  Once, you have stated the truth, have the courage to ask yourself these questions:

  1. What next step could you take to address this challenge?
  2. How can you be the bravest version of yourself today in your creative work and life?

For me, it is to stop doing what everyone else is doing and do what works for me.

Maybe for you, it’s showing up to your laptop, sitting down, doing work, and sticking with it even when it feels scary and tough.

Maybe for you, it’s saying no to distracting things which keep you from building the impactful, fulfilling, and sustainable life you’re yearning for.

Maybe for you, it’s finally getting started on a new project, podcast, book, or product but you’ve been too afraid to pursue.  For me it is putting myself out there with videos.

Maybe for you, it’s replying to an email, returning a phone call, or saying yes to a coffee date which may lead to an exciting new opportunity.

Maybe for you, it’s reaching out to a friend, coach, or mentor, asking them for help, giving yourself permission to not walk this journey alone anymore.

Fear!  It isn’t going to disappear overnight. Fear will always be part of the journey.  The challenge (one of the biggest for me) isn’t to become fearless.  The challenge is to live taking action towards our goals even when fear is along for the ride.  It is stomping on those inner gremlins letting them know who is boss.

I challenge you to join me, in asking yourself every morning how you can be the bravest version of yourself today?   And when the “day” seems to overwhelming and fear, and self-doubt, creep in ask yourself – how can you be the bravest version of yourself in this moment? What small courageous step can you take in the direction of the work and life you are longing for?

Share your “statement” with us.  I would love to celebrate and encourage you along the way!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Travel Tips

Product Spotlight: Fold Over Weekender

 

Today’s product spotlight is one of my favorite travel bags – especially a road trip – the Fold Over Weekender.  Flying I need something with wheels so if the fold over weekender had a baby with the Away We Go Roller – I would be in heaven!

I asked my customers what they loved about this AWESOME product and here is what they had to say:

  • I love this! Perfect size! I just used mine this weekend. I went it a wedding up north!
  • I love mine! It has so many usages from a weekend getaway to wedding to a busy day with my daughter !
  • Got this last year for my daughter for Christmas and she loves it and so do I!!! She just used it 2 weeks ago on our weekend trip, and its the perfect weekend/overnight bag. Or whatever you want to use it for.
  • I love it! So much room, not bulky when full, and fits everything.

This versatile travel bag can be worn as either a shoulder bag or crossbody bag using the removable shoulder strap which comes with it. The top fold-over flap covers the zip closure and can be folded down with a lobster claw closure. An exterior flat pocket allows you easy access to your phone, keys or whatever else you put inside. The interior zipper pocket provides a safe storage space.

It can be used as a carry-on. Whether on the plane or in the car, it’s the perfect size to carry all your essentials like makeup, toiletries, phone, tablet, batteries, etc. If someone saw you unpack they’d think it’s a Mary Poppins bag because it holds so much. The dimensions are approximately 19.25” H (unfolded) x 18.75” L (top opening width) x 9.5”D which means it’s also a great size to stow in an overhead bin or even at your feet in the car.

For those of us who used duffels in high school (I know, I am showing my age)…. this is even better!

Another idea… headed out on a cruise – bring it with you! Fill it with towels, bathing suits, sunglasses, flip flops, and sunscreen, and enjoy the ship’s pool while you wait for your room! The detachable shoulder strap makes it super easy to carry.  Because this bag folds flat, you can also bring it with you empty and bring it home full. It’s a great way to tote your souvenirs, extra clothes, incidentals, or even a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies mom sends you home with when you go to visit.

The only downside for me, is the fact it can get heavy when it is filled so it is hard for me to carry.  I can’t think of another one and neither could my customers.

Guess what??? If you spend $35 this month, you can get a Thirty One Fold Over Weekender for $31 (retail price $80).  So you can get TWO bags for less than the cost of just the weekender!  Pretty AWESOME, right?

So where are you traveling to and will your suitcase get lost in the sea of look alike bags?  Stop by www.partywithHope.com and get yours.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Feel Good Friday

Are You Superstitious?

8007_-_Lucky_on_His_Birthday_large

Do you dread this day each time it rolls around? I used to be one of those people. I used negative words to describe the day and the outcome was “I got negative results”. I was surprised by the origins of this “dreaded day”:

The origins are as mysterious as the day itself, although it’s thought to stem from two separate fears that amalgamate every now and again to frighten us. Yup, the number 13 and Friday (apparently) have long been considered to be unlucky in their own right.

REALLY, Fridays were considered unlucky too?  I always thought Fridays were GREAT days. Especially TODAY since I am in  NC with my daughter and looking forward to a weekend filled with tailgating and fun.  Yes, I squirreled.  As an employee, it was pay day with the exception of my years at the casinos, so what’s so bad about it? For those with a Monday – Friday JOB, it means the end of the work week and the start of two days of NO WORK! As for those of us in direct sales, Fridays are always good because they are traditionally our busy party nights.  Pay day means people are ready to shop too!

e5196c22b10539f7a8290ad18e61cedc  

As for the number 13, this is what they had to say:

The number 13 has always been seen as a bit of an unfriendly number. In numerology it is irregular, transgressing the completeness of perfect 12 (for example, 12 months of the year and 12 signs of the zodiac).

Okay, I am not sure what to say about this. I do know most builders don’t include a 13th floor in the hotels or skyscrapers to avoid the negative energy it creates in people. I mean, would you rent a room or an office on the 13th floor?

A few years ago, I started changing the way I looked at Friday the 13th. I started thinking of it as just another day – a day like any other day. I LOVE thinking about it as “31” in reverse.  Okay, occasionally Negative Nellie will make a passing comment but overall positive thoughts prevail.

What are you doing on this Friday the 13th? I am hosting a special to my VIP customers and hostesses at Hope’s Purse Closet (as well as those who read my blog):

friday 13

Better yet, if you place an order of $35 you can take advantage of the AWESOME October Customer special.  You can also kick off you holiday shopping with the NEW Holiday Gift Guide.  

To place an order, you can email, text, call or PM me on Facebook to place your order and receive your discount.  If you place your order online with DIRECT SHIP, I will not be able to give the discount because direct ship orders are being processed as soon as they are placed online.   I am turning a negative into a positive today, what about you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Travel Tips

On the Road AGAIN!!!!

WOOHOO!  Today is the day I am headed to North Carolina to see my kid!  Thank you Thirty One for the additional money (as a result of the cancelled cruise) so I could make this trip.  This is the first time in a few years I will actually get to spend Belinda’s birthday with her.  An afternoon flight on United will get to Asheville in just 2 hours.  I’m really excited.

No, this will not be me looking for my suitcase.  In the past, I would have traveled with a black one non-Thirty One bag but not this time.  I am traveling with a carry on and my purse.  Here is what I am taking:

 and    DoubleTake Tote

Yes, these are both hostess exclusives.  I usually pack way too many clothes so I wanted to see if I could consolidate everything for a 5 day trip.  Was it easy? NO!  It meant really thinking about what I wanted to wear.  Now hubby had a suggestion…. why not get some extra clothes to leave there this way I wouldn’t have to take so much when I fly down.  Interesting thought???

Here are some travel tips I am going to use this time around:

1. Make three copies of your itinerary & identification.

No matter where you are traveling to, make sure your emergency contacts (or next of kin) have a copy of your itinerary.  Pack one copy in your suitcase as well as the one in your purse.  Even though I am carrying everything on, you never know when the plane will be full and they will check your bag at the gate.  You can even take a picture of it with your phone, this way you will never lose it!

2. Ensure you have more than one source of funds.

Okay, so I am guilty of this!  It is suggested you don’t rely on a single credit card (or debit card).  If you begin charging things out of your normal pattern, you could very well be blocked because the bank will think the card has been stolen.  Another suggestion is to notify the bank you will be traveling so they are not surprised by unusual charges.

3. Consider your arrival time in a city you have not been to before

Will it be after dark? How far out of the city centre is the airport? Make sure you arrange an airport pickup through your hotel or a local contact whenever possible.  So excited because Belinda will actually be picking me up at the airport.

4. Pack an extra pair of glasses and medications.

This tip is perfect for someone who is traveling  longer than 2 weeks BUT not bad for anyone.   The truth is you should be prepared for emergencies when it comes to your health.  If you are carrying medications, keep a copy of your prescription with you and the generic names for the drugs. You never know when you will lose a bag or the airline will lose a bag.  Keep medicines in their original, labelled containers.  I tend to put them in a pill container to make travel easier when we are going for 1 week or less.  Any longer, I always carry the bottles.  It’s alway a good idea to take enough medication for the duration of your trip plus 7 days (for emergencies).  Wear prescription glasses or contacts, keep a copy of your script with you, you never know when you may need to get an emergency pair.

5. Take a photo of your luggage with your mobile phone camera

How often have you been at baggage claim only to find a zillion black suitcases.  Of course using a Thirty One week-ender could solve the problem BUT if it isn’t an option, take a picture of your luggage.  If it goes missing you can show the picture to the baggage desk staff at the airport, making it easier to find it for you.

What is your best travel tip?  Share it with us….

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!