What is Your Recipe for Life?

The last two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster.  Our sweet Baby (fur baby) is nearing the end of her life because of a tumor. Father’s Day causes me to stress because I’ve lost so many memories. Hubby’s pain levels have been higher than normal. Restless nights so my sleep is off.

All of these things tend to leave me feeling drained.  I am by no means complaining, but I guess it sounds like it, right?  LOL.  I will admit, I have found myself on the “pity pot” several times this week which leads to resentments which is never good for this recovering addict.

It always amazes me how listening to a business training call can change my entire mindset.  The topic was “power hour” and I was ready to just mindlessly listen when the importance of changing our mindset was mentioned…. Not only does this apply to business but also in our everyday lives, especially during those woe is me days.  Then while reading my Just for Today… it was all about surrendering. Do you think God is trying to send me a message?

When I was in rehab, I remember a saying something like: If one person calls you a duck – you can toss it aside, if two people call you a duck – it deserves some consideration but if three people call you a duck – you MUST be a duck!”  I am not waiting for the third person because I know I need to change my mindset and get off the pity pot!

So starting this morning, this duck is changing her mindset.  Do you need to change your mindset?

Here are a few questions you can answer which might help:

1. Identify what happened to cause the change
2. Why did it happen
3. How can I use this for my personal growth
4. What changes can I make to improve in the future
5. Where can I find help or who can help

This “recipe for life” was part of a devotion I was reading.  Maybe this will help you in changing your mindset or counting your blessings:

Begin with a case of Joy

Add a heaping spoonful of Gratitude

Fold in a large dollop of Kindness

Stir in a handful of Forgiveness

Sprinkle liberally with Love and cover with Peace

Always serve with a large side of Faith

(Author unknown)

 

What do you do to change your mindset or get off the “pity pot”? Maybe you take a walk and count your blessings.  Maybe you do a gratitude list.  Maybe you put on some music and dance around.  Share your best tip with us!  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Thankful Thursday: PAIN

I can see you now, rolling your eyes and wondering, how can she be thankful for pain……  Is it possible anything good can come from a life with pain?

Whether you live with pain as a result of a chronic illness, addiction, or a physical/mental reason, are you still able to smile?  Is it possible to find happiness after a disease has stolen a career, ended friendships, stolen memories and some days even confined me to the house?   Is it really possible to not fall apart?

I lived through the pain of addiction, relapse and recovery,  I have lived with the pain of MS.  Some would say I do it by living in denial or in some sort of fantasy world I’ve made up in my own head where everything is unicorns and rainbows.  The pain I feel most days is not physical (although I wish it was) it is emotional.  Is it possible for someone to fight addiction, secondary progressive MS and still find purpose in life? Can someone whose life has been striped away; have moments, if not days, of tears; live in confusion not remembering things, continual fatigue and weakness yet find themselves not cursing the world, their disease and everyone or anything?

Is it truly possible to be thankful for a life with pain?

The truth is, pain has helped me to grow as a person.  It has helped me to see “joy” is possible.  I will admit entering into recovery the first and then again after a relapse, the pain seemed immense.  There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Then hit with the diagnosis of MS after 4+ years of testing, the emotional roller coaster started again.

I wouldn’t know the treasure a smile could bring if I didn’t know the misery of pain. I wouldn’t know the simple pleasures of sitting outside enjoying the weather.  I wouldn’t understand the value of time spent with those I love.  I wouldn’t hold dear those moments of peace I experience if I had never lived through days of chaos and disorder. I wouldn’t appreciate the little things in life, often passed by as nonsense or unimportant by most people if I hadn’t been in a place where those things were all that kept me going.

When the pain is great enough, I am ready to practice gratitude and do some work on me.  In recovery, I know the pain is great as a result of those inner gremlins who keep rearing their ugly heads.  I may have lost LOTS of memories but those inner gremlins sure know when to jump up and make me feel even worse.  I don’t know what the next moment in my life or tomorrow will bring. I don’t know if today will end in tears or laughter. I don’t know if I will have enough strength to fight my way through. I don’t know if my hands or legs will fail me when I need them the most. There are a lot of things I simply don’t know.

There are two things I do know………#1 Using is not an option whether it is a drink or a drug or endless shopping or binge eating.  Going back to doing the things which lead me to more pain and heartache is not an option.  #2 MS will not define me. I used to be brave. I used to be a tower of strength for those around me.  I used to be a mighty warrior. But now…now I’m a warrior with weak ankles, fading memories, and tears in my eyes.

Some days I don’t know if the emotional pain is a result of the relapse or because of the MS.  The two get so jumbled together.  I said for many years, the loose of memories was a result of my addiction when the truth is, it was probably the start of my MS.  The pain of not being able to remain is greater than any physical pain I could ever feel.  Not remembering my childhood is one thing – I mean I’m getting old, right? But when you can’t remember the day your daughter was born, when pictures don’t tigger memories, when you dan’t remember your wedding day which was only 8 years ago…..the emotional pain is great.  Relying on others for their memories of particular events is tough – it is their perspective and not my own.

MS has stripped me of the person I once was.  Addiction, relapse and recovery has shown me glimmers of the me I could become or used to be. I know it sounds weird since I don’t have many memories BUT if I can feel good about me then it is a good day.  Today,  I put my foot down and refuse to sink amidst the swirling tumultuous seas pushing against me. I refuse to quit. I refuse to give up.

Today, the battle I am facing begins in my mind. I am reminding myself and you, I am more than MS (or whatever you are dealing with).  We are more than the pain. We are more than the loneliness, the struggles and the fears. We are true warriors! People may never understand the battles we face (although in recovery there are others who thankfully get us) or see the internal struggles taking place in our lives, we stay in the fight…weak, but grateful for one more day.

Wear your badge of honor, bravery and courage proudly today. Hold your head high. You are a hero…a gutsy, courageous, mighty warrior! You are strong enough. You are brave enough. You are tough enough.

Have a blessed day!

How to Heal a Hurting Heart

Thank you Gwen Smith for today’s message:

A friend of ours has struggled with heart problems for years. He has gone through seasons of wellness and seasons of strain. Recently, his health challenges moved from the back burner of his life to the front when his doctors recognized the need to operate.

He didn’t just need a simple procedure. He needed open heart surgery to the max. I mean we are talking valve replacements, ablations, hole repairs and more. You name it – and the surgeon pretty much had to do it.

In the wee hours of the morning prior to his surgery, our friend’s heart decided to cause problems that led them to the Emergency Room instead of the Operating Room. Thankfully, his surgeon rushed to the scene and took him right into surgery.

Hours later, his heart was repaired. In the days that followed, scary set backs came and went. Each one was dealt with head on. Thankfully, after 8 days in the hospital, our friend was able to go home yesterday.

I asked his wife how I could pray for him. Was there anything specific?

Her answer surprised me. “Just pray that he will have the will to press on through the healing process because it is going to be a long, hard haul.”

When I hung up from our conversation, I paused and reflected on her request.

In essence, I will be praying for him to have the heart {the strength, the guts, the determination} to fight for his heart to heal fully.

Wow. I know that struggle well.

Week after week, friend after friend, loved one after loved one, struggle after struggle, conversation after conversation… this is one of the biggest challenges we face. Having a heart fixed on healing. To press through to a place of wellness and strength: spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. To not back down from the resistance before us in light of the rewards that await us. To run the race of faith well!

I’ve asked God for forgiveness, but I just don’t know how to forgive myself.

I know the Bible says God loves me, but I feel invisible. I don’t FEEL loved and adored.

I believe that God has a plan for my life, but I’m so tired of waiting for it to develop.

I want restoration in my relationship, but I will not be the one to make the first move.

I’ve lost my love and hate being alone. I no longer have the will to live or dream.

I know my eating patterns are unhealthy and they undermine my wellness, but God loves me just the way I am!

I worry all the time and struggle with anxiety. I really want to trust God, but often fail.

After we go through initial heart repairs with Jesus, many of us find ourselves as wounded believers. Close to whole, but still broken. We want healing but won’t or don’t know how to move forward in the direction of the Healer toward the complete wholeness He has for us.

This is hard stuff. I know. I struggle too. We all do.

Ultimately: every one of us is a work in progress. Our challenges and failures are real and should be acknowledged and confessed. But our faith that God can and will tend to our wounds must be greater.

So I join in prayer as our friend faces months of therapy, doctors appointments, medicine changes, financial strains, emotional exhaustion, and unseen struggles.

And I’m grateful that we pray to the one, true God who loves, sees, hears, purifies, answers, comforts, protects, forgives, provides for, refines, restores, redeems and heals those who cry out to Him. He is the great Surgeon who rushes to us in our emergency rooms and takes us to the operating room of His presence.

The One who knows how to care for every wound, burden and bruise we bear.

So, when your heart needs healing: PRAY.

Pray when loneliness, laziness, or depression takes up residence in your heart. Pray when you are tempted to anesthetize with food, wine, exercise, shopping, or pain pills. Pray when the arms of that man seem more attractive than the purity you are called to in Christ. Pray when your doubts seem stronger than your faith.

Press through barriers in the strength of Jesus. His plan is good. His power is unending. His faithfulness is unwavering. His presence is accessible 24/7.

Move in His direction and give Him the burdens of your heart.

Pray.

Believe.

Trust.

Have a blessed day!

 

What’s Your Story?

Happy Monday!  Are you dreading heading into work?  Are you longing for the weekend already?  Is there something you want to do but fear and doubt is keeping you from stepping out of your comfort zone? I had a rare Sunday off yesterday so I enjoyed church and an afternoon of football.   I took the time to write out a plan for the week so that I can change my story!

What does this have to do with “my story”?  Well, I was thinking.  I know – scary but when I do, things start to happen.  I am especially excited on the rare occasions brain fog is not invading my space.  Several months ago, I set a goal with a date and yesterday helped me to realize I needed to stay the course even when the going gets tough.  I have  been on a mission to get my business and my life back on track.  It seems to be working – business is picking up, the number on the scale seems to have a mind of its own and I am learning how to work within the parameters of my health issues.   Is everything going 100% according to plan, NOPE!  So why am I excited about the small changes?  My mindset changed and I am relying more on God for his guidance then LISTENING for an answer.

I have been stretching out of my comfort zone.  I have been looking for the lesson to be learned in each perceived negative thing as it happens.  I am sharing my story – the good, the bad and the ugly.  There was a great article in the Huffington Post about writing your LIFE story.  I used to think my story was long, uninteresting and full of boosting which resulted in not being of interest to anyone. I was so wrong.

Here are some tips to help you tell YOUR story:

1. Your 3-Sentence Life Story.  What to write: Try to summarize your life in two or three sentences. Take your time. Think about your past. For me:

Overcoming a life filled with addictions.  Gaining my confidence. Love my life. Blessed with a loving hubby, amazing daughter, family & friends.

2. Your Crucial Incident (or Incidents)  What to write: Choose one or more of the sentences below and write a page or two that begins with that particular sentence. Just write for yourself and for your clarity of mind.

Sentence 1: I was just a kid, but…

Sentence 2: I tried my best and…

Sentence 3: In that moment everything changed.

Sentence 4: It was shocking to find out that…

Sentence 5: It was the proudest day of my life. I couldn’t stop smiling when…

My sentence would be #3 with #2 a close a second. I relive moments often wondering if I had made different choices or reacted differently if my life would be different, would I be where I am today OR the person I am today.  The “what if” in your life can be the thing holding you back!

3) Your Secret Why.  What to write: Take a minute to think about the previous two exercises. Then, finish this sentence:  “I’d like to really understand everything that led me to _______________.”   What truth is important for you to get at? You have a structure (your three sentences), you have a crucial event (that may have caused or contributed to your life story) and now you have a purpose—a reason for writing which let’s you learn, enjoy and even be surprised by the story you’ve been waiting to tell yourself and—maybe, just maybe, the world, as well.

Some days, I struggle with what to write and today was one of them.  I LOVE blogging and sharing my strengths, hopes and experiences with people.  My hope is through my story, I might touch their lives.  I believe each blog has a message – even if only one person reads it and it helps them or  brings a smile to their face – it was worth it.

Write your life story and then if you don’t like it – rewrite your destiny. Share with us, if you want.  Let’s use CELEBRATE and ENCOURAGE you.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

From Pain to Destiny

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-5)

God often allows pain to ignite destiny in our lives. Without motivation, many of us would never fulfill the purposes for which God created us. Oftentimes a measured assault invades our life and creates a depth of pain that all we know to do is press into God with all our being.

At first, our motivation is to alleviate the pain. After a season of extreme emotional and sometimes physical pain, a second phase begins. This phase moves us to discover a new and deeper relationship with God. We begin to discover things about ourselves and about God that we never would have discovered without this motivation. Gradually, our heart changes our motivation from pain to loving obedience because there is a transition of the heart that takes place. No longer do we seek God for deliverance from the pain; we seek God because He is God. We seek His face and not His hand.

When we move to the second phase we often find ourselves moving into a new destiny and calling for our lives because God often separates us from the old life in this process. No doubt Joseph and Peter felt the pain of their individual crises. However, later they could realize God’s purposes in their crisis. Like Joseph, we are able to say, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”

Today, let God move you from the place of pain to the place of destiny. Let God show you the secret things He has reserved for you as a result of the crisis you may find yourself in.

Today’s blog is courtesy of God is First.