Gaining Confidence Is An Ongoing Process

I have been having one of those weeks…. yup, fear and doubt has crept in.  My confidence has been shaken and I am wondering what my purpose is in life.  What happened?  I’m not sure except I have had some weird health days.  Days of feeling unsure.  Most days I can shake it then there are some when I need a confidence booster.  Surrounding myself with supportive  friends and family is part of it BUT sometimes I need to work on me.

Here are some things I do to help shake those nasty inner gremlins:

1.  Share Your Gifts & Passion with Others

Everyone has gifts and talents even when our confidence is lacking.  When I have days like this, I start writing.  Because I know sharing my struggles with others is one of my gifts.  You have accomplished great things – don’t downplay what you have achieved.  I know I am guilty of this all of the time.  The truth is, we are all good at something and there is always someone who wants to learn.

2. Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

When I have days like this, I tend to focus on all of the mistakes I made in life. Remember negative thoughts brings more negative thoughts.  When we hold ourselves or others to high standards expecting perfection, we are usually left feeling less than, a failure, and unworthy. Give yourself a break!  Self-forgiveness is an important step towards building your self esteem and confidence.  Everyone make mistakes, you are no exception and you deserve to be forgiven.

3. Pay it Forward or Pay Yourself

Are you looking to right your wrongs or make a change due to mistakes from your past which may be holding you back?  We can’t wave a magic wand and make them go away BUT we can change the outcome.  Didn’t make school a priority in your life?  Go back and take some classes.  Maybe you weren’t there for friends and family – make amends.  As a recovering addict, my mission is to help those who are struggling because others helped m.  What mistake can you forgive yourself for so you can move on?

4. Be Solution Focused

I always say negative thoughts brings more negative – positive brings more positive, it is the way of the Universe.  So, when you are always complaining about not having enough (of anything), nothing gets accomplished. Look for solutions when things aren’t going as planned. This will take some practice before it becomes natural.  In the end, you will be able to approach a problem from a mindset of how to solve it instead of WHY ME victim mindset.

5. Smile

I know it is hard to smile when you are feeling less than BUT a little smile goes a long way. You would be surprised how it can actually change your mindset. It makes me feel good to smile, and it can also brighten someone else’s day.  In some cases this is where I advocate, fake it till you make it.   I don’t mean being fake to others, it is about learning to pick your head up and feel good along the way. The more you do it, before long, you will forget you were “faking it” and actually feed better, maybe even GOOD or GREAT!

6. Fear is Your Friend

FEAR is huge when we are not feeling confident (at least for me).  I am trying hard to use fear to my advantage! Think about it – fear shows up when you are about to step out of your comfort zone, stretch yourself and build your confidence. This is your secret weapon to growing.  When you recognize it is about to get scary, you are about to expand yourself which is HUGE confidence builder.

Despite popular belief (and my constant writing about it) I do struggle with confidence.  I am always amazed how I am more confident around people I don’t know then I am around friends or business colleagues.  Those nasty inner gremlins love to play the comparison game.

Share your struggles and your successes with us.  Let’s BUILD each other up so we are all successful in our business (and our lives).

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Happy St. Patty’s Day

Do you have the luck of the Irish?  Is it an old’s wives tale or do the Irish really have more luck than the average person?  If you were to surround yourself with successful people would they all need to be Irish?

Think about the people you surround yourself with.  Think about your different communities – are the people you surround yourself with a good influence on you and your business?

Here are some suggestions on how to surround yourself with success:

• Identify the three major business relationships you have.   At first, I thought this was about my 3 major business relationships – my customers, my hostesses and my team.  Yes, these three groups of people absolutely help me to succeed and meet my business goals BUT what about your business communities.  Those who support, encourage and celebrate you on a regular basis.  Maybe it is Facebook Community or a business coach/mentor or maybe it is your business partner or even a networking group you are a member of.  REMEMBER: consider forming new professional relationships with successful people you can bring to the forefront of your inner circle.
• Learn from the negative.  No matter what industry you’re in, there are going to be a number of negative people and/or situations (think Eeyore).  Instead of letting this negativity bog you down and keep you from doing your absolute best, use it to learn what NOT to do and bolster yourself onto your own successful path (think Tigger).  Will you be an Eeyore or a Tigger?  Which are you – I am a Tigger!!!

• You don’t have to actually know successful people to learn from them.  Take what they can offer you about success in business and apply those things to your own situation.  I am blessed to have some VERY successful people who have been helping to continue to grow my business – my Thirty One sisters, Desiree Wolfe and the League of Audacious Women as well as some AMAZING women I have had the privilege of meeting and learning from.
• Pay it forward.  Maybe those around you who seem negative just need someone to inspire them.  Don’t be afraid to be the person.  Your determination to be successful can certainly influence someone else in a positive way if you exude your optimism and drive in all that you do.  I LOVE paying it forward.  Sharing with my team and potential Rays of HOPE team members.  Paying it forward it part of my God-sized dream..

Surrounding yourself with success, can be a challenge.  It is an important challenge to take on because your attitude is a key indicator of your success.  What are some ways you surround yourself with success? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!  

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Post Holiday Blahs

“Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.”  Maori Proverb

It is Tuesday morning after a long weekend.  For some the weekend was about work.  For others it was about family and friends.  It was about barbecues, parades and parties.  It was about celebrating life.

Then there were those who struggled. Maybe they struggled because they were alone.  Maybe they struggled because they lost their job.  Maybe every day is a struggle for them. Maybe they just can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Which one is you?  In either case, you may want to turn your alarm off and go back to bed.  Most will get up and face the day while some will hide under the covers and avoid life.   I remember those days.  The days that I forced myself to get out of bed.  The days that I sat and cried for no reason.  The days of sadness. The days of trying to fake it till I could make it.  That is what it was like living with adjustment disorder combined with depression.

Sounds pretty awful, right?  Those days of  highs and lows seemed to never end.  All I wanted was to be normal, whatever that is, right?

I saw a small light occasionally which is what kept me believing.  I had a choice – “Let life lead me, or lead my life.”

I realized that I was a fighter (deep down).  I wanted to always look for the best in others. I wanted to fall down and get back up again — and again.  I fought through the struggles of abortion, addiction, homelessness, debt and depression.  I was fighting to be the optimist – staying positive when giving into the the negative would have been easier.

1. I stopped saying things like:

“It figures,” “Isn’t that just my luck,” “It would only happen to me,” and, “I just can’t catch a break.”

2. I stopped joining in other’s pity parties.

Empathy and compassion are important.  I am learning to acknowledge feelings of negativity, but not dwell on them.

3. I thank my lucky stars.

This one is HUGE for me!  When I start to get stressed and depressed, I stop and say “thank you.” To anything. Thank my house, for providing warmth and four walls. Thank my car, for continuing to start. Thank my job, because it keeps you clothed and fed.  Thank my business, because it keeps me reaching for my dreams.  Sounds crazy, right?  But it does work.  Gratitude goes a long way to chaining your attitude about life.

4. Make someone smile.

Buy a coffee for the person next in line,  or buy a balloon and ask the cashier to deliver it anonymously to the next kid who gets in line.

Don’t have the money to do anything – email/text a friend with a message to have a nice day.  Hold the door with a smile or compliment a fellow shopper on their outfit.

Living an optimistic life takes work and slip-ups will happen.  Find the good in every person, in every situation.  You have to fight for the light at the end of the tunnel.

If I weren’t a fighter, I wouldn’t be here today.  I may not have always thought of myself as a fighter but I never gave up. It was and is about believing in the power of good, not bad. It’s about turning off the negativity and looking for the good in everything.

If you are struggling, reach out and let someone know.  Help is just a hand (or call away).  God placed this message on my heart this morning for someone.  I hope it brought a smile to someone.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Happy St. Patty’s Day

Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!! I am only a small part Irish but I do remember people talking about my grandmother’s Irish temper.  Of course, I never saw it – I mean really, that was Grams.

Do you have the luck of the Irish? Is that an old’s wives tale or do the Irish really have more luck than the average person? If you were to surround yourself with successful people would they all need to be Irish?

Think about the people that you surround yourself with – are they having a good influence on you and your business? Here are some suggestions on how to surround yourself with success:

• Identify the three major business relationships you have. My 3 major business relationships are: my customers, my hostesses and my team. Do they help you succeed and meet my business goals? YES!  REMEMBER: consider forming new professional relationships with successful people that you can bring to the forefront of your inner circle.
• Learn from the negative. No matter what industry you’re in, there are going to be a number of negative people and/or situations (think Eeyore). Instead of letting this negativity bog you down and keep you from doing your absolute best, use it to learn what NOT to do and bolster yourself onto your own successful path (think Tigger). Will you be an Eeyore or a Tigger? I am a Tigger!!!
• You don’t have to actually know successful people to learn from them. Take what they can offer you about success in business and apply those things to your own situation. I am blessed to have some VERY successful people who have been helping me to grow my business – my Thirty One sisters and some AMAZING business coaches that I have had the privilege of meeting and learning from.
• Pay it forward. Maybe those around you who seem negative just need someone to inspire them. Don’t be afraid to be that person. Your determination to be successful can certainly influence someone else in a positive way if you exude your optimism and drive in all that you do. I LOVE paying it forward. Sharing with my team and potential Rays of HOPE team members. Paying it forward it part of my God-sized dream..

Surrounding yourself with success, can be a challenge. It is an important challenge to take on because your attitude is a key indicator of your success. What are some ways that you surround yourself with success? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

I would LOVE to hear your guesses too as to how many gold coins are in the Thirty One Littles Carry All… Who knows there could be a WINNER!!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!