Unclutter Your Life

Are You Feeling Lost or Overwhelmed?

We have all been there at some point in our lives.  The moment when you feel lost, overwhelmed, or totally out of sync in your work/business and in your life. The moment when you feel uninspired, burned out, and unsure of what to do next.  What is a girl to do?  Ask yourself these questions and answer them HONESTLY so you can get back on track.

1. What’s feeling good?

When we feel out of sorts, this can be a tough question.  I mean, how do you really know what feels good when you are feeling lost?  Take a few minutes and think about: What you really enjoy in your business? What things are you loving in your life? What do you want even more of moving forward?

These questions will help you to see what is going right for you and as a result, help you reconnect to what lights you up.  Do you know the things which light you up?  Once you get super specific about what feels good, then you MUST ask yourself – how can I get more of these things?

2. What isn’t feeling good?

Now, the positive energy is flowing.  It is time to look at what is not working.  We look at the positive first so the negative doesn’t open the door for the inner gremlins to beat us up even more.  So, what is leaving you feeling drained, unhappy, and frustrated in your business and your life? What do you want way less of moving forward?  What sucks your energy?

Once you get a handle on where those energy leaks are in your life and business, you will be able to get super clear on how you can minimize the not-so-feel good areas in your business and your life.  There are going to be some unenjoyable things in our business and life – I mean does anyone really enjoy doing laundry or cleaning the house – but they have to be done.  The key is to see how we can change things up so we can find a balance between the enjoy and the don’t enjoy.  While at the same time, start eliminating some of the things which are totally sucking the energy out of us.

3. What are my core desires in my business and my life?

This is a great time to dream a little.  Think about what you want in your business and in your life? Do you want to grow your business?  Do you want to work less?  Do you want to connect more in your relationships? Do you want more self development? Do you want more clarity and momentum?

Get super specific about your core desires. Allow yourself to want what you truly want.  Listen to what you really want. Don’t just follow the crowd or let the expectations of others drown out your core desires.  These core desires will be your anchor as you move forward.  With every step you take in your business and your life, you will ask yourself, “does this align with my core desires?”.  If the answer is NO – don’t do it.  If the answer is YES – you will move forward.

4. What are my core priorities in my business and in my life?

Fulfilling our desire is wonderful but the reality is we still have responsibilities we need to show up for thus holding ourselves accountable along the way.  Ask yourself – what are the core priorities in my business and in my life?  Are there deadlines I need to meet? Are there relationships you want to invest more time in?  Do you want to prioritize your health and wellbeing?  Do I need to improve my money management?

Whatever your priorities are, you need to get super specific about them. Your core priorities just like your core desires, will become your anchor when you start to drift.

5. What distractions do I need to let go of?

When we are feeling lost, or overwhelmed, it usually means our focus and our actions are out of alignment with our core priorities, and desires.  Since you are super specific on what your core priorities and desires are, now we can review your current routine, workload, and what the areas are you are focusing on.  Ask yourself – what do I need to let go of?  What is just a distraction and isn’t serving me in my business or in my life?  What do I need to give myself permission to say no to so I can make more space for the things which truly matter?

Have these questions help you to find some focus but more than anything, have you given yourself permission to move forward in a way which feels most true to you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Woohoo Wednesday

Conquering Your Challenges

Happy HUMP DAY!  It is a challenge in itself when it comes to getting through the work/school week, right?  Every day we have challenges – large or small – and all day long we ask ourself questions to determine what action we will take to overcome the challenge.

We all want to overcome our challenges.  For some it may be business related for others it may be in their personal life.  There are many with health challenges including loosing weight.  Challenges look different to everyone.

When we are faced with a challenge, the most important thing we can do is to open our mind to wisdom, strength and our powerful mind.  The first step is to be positive, not letting the ANTs creep in.  I don’t mean the little annoying bugs which raid our picnics, I mean “automatic negative thoughts”.  Many times when we are faced with disappointment or frustration, whether we mean to or not, the questions we ask ourselves will lead up down the black hole of negativity.

Think about the last challenge you were faced with or maybe you are facing right now. Did one of these questions enter your mind (or worse yet, come out of your mouth)?

  • Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me?
  • Why can’t I get a break?
  • What the heck is wrong with me?

What if you were to change those “negative questions” to something more productive? I know it isn’t easy, I have been there (more times than I want to count). For some, we have said those negative questions for so long, we can’t imagine any others.

What if you considered asking these productive questions:

  • What opportunity does this challenge give me to grow?
  • Looking back, what can I do differently the next time to prevent this outcome?
  • What part of this is beyond my control so I need to let go of trying to change/fix it?
  • How do I want to show up in this situation?

The difference in the questions you ask yourself, will produce different thoughts which will produce different reactions to the challenge.  Your thoughts produce your reactions (how you feel, what you say, and what you do). Remember “The Secret“.. we want to bring more positive into our lives instead of bringing in the negative.

When you approach a challenge with these questions, you are able to build an action plan to move forward.  You drawing in the positive energy of the universe in an effort to move forward.  Believe me, I know how easy it is to let the ANTs creep in.  I know how easy it is to be blinded by the negative unable to see the opportunity.  It takes practice.  It takes time.  Each time you catch yourself with a negative thought, STOP!  Change the mindset and get ready to move forward with “good” thoughts.

When faced with an adversity I challenge you to ask productive (action producing) questions.  What challenge have you faced and learned from?  What challenge are you currently facing and now see a way to change the outcome?

Share your struggles with us.  You are not alone – we have either been through or are currently going through it.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Unclutter Your Life

Want to Sound More Confident?

I don’t read a lot of books, since I have a hard time remembering BUT I do love the core principles Valerie Burton outlined in her book, Successful Women Think Differently.  

Your thoughts create your actions.  I have said it a million times, think negative thoughts and more negative things happen.  Think positive thoughts and more positive things happen.  For me, sometimes I don’t realize I am thinking negative thoughts.  Crazy, right?  How many times have the words “don’t” or “need” or “won’t” been in your thoughts?  The Universe seldom hears things after these words.  I never really understood it until I started a list of positive mantras and read them every morning.  I claim the things I want and I am getting them – slowly but they are coming.

When you become aware of what you are saying to yourself about things, you can consciously decide if the thought is moving you toward your goals or farther away. Thoughts don’t just lead you to take actions,  your thoughts also shape the sound of your voice. Yes, the tone of our internal voices will reflect on the outside and others will see it.

Our voice is an expression of our internal state. If our internal state is anxious and you think danger is imminent, our voice will reflect anxiety. I have seen this play out so many times.  On the inside, I am stressing about money, relationships, business or whatever – on the outside, I am snappy and tense.  Our body responds to our thoughts.  No matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to hide it.

Here is the “technical reason”: The sound of your voice is regulated by the vagus nerve, which is central to the parasympathetic nervous system. When the vagus nerve is stimulated, which can happen as a fight-or-flight response to anxiety-producing thoughts, the vocal cord muscle spasms. This can cause your voice to quiver or ‘sound nervous’. Additionally, when stressed or nervous, you typically don’t breathe deeply. As a result, you don’t have the air which creates the pressure needed for a strong, consistent voice quality.

How can you change things to sound more confident?

1. Become aware of your thoughts and redirect counterproductive ones. Basically, go from a negative thought to a positive one.  Instead of “No one wants to book parties” or “It is taking so long to pay off my debt”, intentionally change the thought.  If you can, change your environment – go for a walk, a ride or just sit out in the sunshine and watch the clouds.  Choose a new thought – like “I am a booking machine” or “I have enough money to pay off my debt”.  Do something (anything) to get your mind moving in a new direction.

2. Exercise. Exercise purges negative energy.  It is true.  I don’t mean you have to go to the gym to exercise, unless you want to.  For me, it means a walk around the block or some housecleaning or turn on the music and dance.

3. Practice. We have heard most of our lives “practice makes perfect”.  While we aren’t looking for perfection, we are looking to feel confident.  Need to do a presentation in from of a group and you feel uncomfortable or anxious – practice what you are going to say in advance. Some will say you should even record it and listen to find the areas where you want to improve. Take a video on your phone or have someone else film you.  Then watch it back.  Don’t be overly hard on yourself, just look for ways to improve.  You don’t need to be PERFECT but you want to get rid of the nervous energy.

4. Hydrate. Hydration alleviates dry mouth. Drink water before or during important conversations.  In the beginning of talking to a group of any size, I am nervous.  I usually ask for a glass of water or keep a bottle of water handy.  When I feel like I am talking too fast or my nervousness is showing, I stop, take a sip of water, breathe and move on.  It really does make a difference.  It is like the water washes away the nervousness.

5. Talk it out. This one is tough for me because when I have the negative thoughts and I try to share them, I get emotional.  I have been blessed with friends, old and new, who help me to put my negative thinking into perspective.  Be careful and choose wisely.  Be sure you pick someone to share with who will help put the negative thoughts into perspective restoring a sense of confidence and calm.

These are some basic steps which will help, I know because I continue to practice all of them at some point in my life.  As you become more aware of the negative thoughts, you will be able to convert them to  positive thoughts and actions to help you move forward.

What thoughts make you anxious and chip away at your confidence?

Unclutter Your Life

Changing Your Intent Will Change Your Situation

Happy Monday! You have the CHOICE to make today whether to have a good day or a bad day?  Which will it be? Struggling with the Monday morning blues?  Let’s shift your mindset so you can change the way the day or week will go….

One of my goals every day is to show up in my life – in my relationships, my work, my finances, and with my health.  Am I always successful? NO!  Do I keep trying? YES!  Why?  Because when I continue to show up reflecting who I want to be, I begin to see changes in my life making it easier to reach my goals.

What is challenging for you right now?  Is it work?  Your marriage/ relationships? Finances?  What if you could change the intent to see if it changes the situation.  Pick one area of your life you would like to see a change.

For example, if work is challenging for you right now, you could set an intention for how you want to show up at work:

“My intention is to maintain my calm and peace in the midst of the storm going on at work.”

“My intention is to keep making calls to customers despite the answering machines or negative attitude some may have”

A simple change in your mindset will help you change your response when things get frustrating during the day.  Not sure you will remember your intention?  I know it is hard when you are in the moment of chaos.  How about setting a reminder on your phone (hourly, multiple times, whatever) to remind you of your intention?  Know you are going to be in a stressful situation, set the reminder for about 15 minutes BEFORE the meeting or event to take you mind from the negative to the positive.  I do this on days when I am struggling with depression, it helps to clear my head of Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie.  

Changing your intention will also change the way others respond to you.  Changing your intention will change how situations unfold.  The best part is changing your intention  is it will allow opportunities to find you. You will be feeding the Universe with your positive energy.  Positive attracts positive, right?

What is your intention for this week?  What would happen if the best version of you showed up all week, you know the one you are proud of?

Imagine for a moment what it would look like to show up as your most powerful, authentic self in whatever situation you are struggling with…. what would change?

Share your thoughts with us..

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Unclutter Your Life

Throwback Thursday – I’d Be Happy If…

b4-picture-with-belinda

UGH!  I cringe every time I see this picture but it is a constant reminder for me. Yes, it is me at a hefty 295 pounds with my awesome daughter.  This is definitely a #throwback.

This was a period of time in my life when Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie were playing along side me.  My mantra then was always “I will be happy when…..” and as a result I sometimes missed out on things.

Have you every said or even thought these words? Have you started a sentence with “when I am…., I will be happy”? I will be honest and say there are still some days when those thoughts knock on my door.

On my weight loss journey to goal weight, my favorite line was “I’ll be happy when I reach goal weight”.   Guess what?  I reached goal weight and there was no magic wand to make me happy.  When fear and doubt creep into my business, I say “I’ll be happy to make my minimum goal”. OH NO!!!mrbill1

The Universe brings us what we put out there.  Fear and doubt brings more fear and doubt.  The statement “I’d be happy if ….” takes our focus off the blessings we already have and those waiting for us.  We miss out on the moment and no matter what you may think – good, bad or otherwise – the moment is a blessing.

What if you were to change this statement to “I’m thankful for…..”?  Sometimes in the dark it is hard to see the blessings.  Maybe you are struggling with finances, a shaky marriage, addiction, homelessness or (fill in the blank).  There is blessings in them.  Maybe it is a stranger who smiles at you or pays you a compliment.  Maybe it is a friend who drops by unannounced with groceries.  Maybe it is a song on the radio which evokes a pleasant memory.  Being thankful for the smallest thing truly will make a difference in your life.

So, today let’s list what we are thankful for this week. This is my list from 2014 (since this is #TBT) I am thankful this week for:

  • A relationship with God that gives me comfort when I struggle
  • A loving husband who supports me no matter what
  • A loving family who accepts me for who I am along with all of my faults
  • Feeling a little bit better and learning how to manage my IBS
  • Not re-injurying my back during the mini storm last Monday
  • A business that allows me the flexibility to make my own schedule
  • A supportive network (ETTM) of fellow solo-preneurs and network marketers
  • A full March calendar that allows me to share Thirty One with friends and family
  • Only nudging the scale up (1 lb) a little this week. Yes, I would love a loss but as I change my eating habits there will be some changes in my weight. Building a bridge and getting over it!
  • Receiving an unexpected refund check when the checkbook was getting a little low

As I look back and reflect on this past week, here is what I am thankful for now:

  • A relationship with God which comforts me when I struggle (never changes)
  • A loving husband who supports me no matter what (my rock)
  • A loving family who accepts me for who I am along with all of my faults
  • Learning to manage my MS
  • A business which allows me the flexibility to make my own schedule
  • Grateful the scale keeps going down every week
  • A support network who continue to help me stay accountable to my goals.

Don’t think you are blessed?  Think this is all silly?  The truth is a change in your mindset will definitely change your outlook and the results.  Start with the little things you are grateful for: waking up in the morning, no traffic on the way to work, a roof over your head, family, food on the table, a job, and the list goes on.

I could go on and on because I am BLESSED.  When doubt and fear creep in or Negative Nellie or Doubtful Debbie try to pay a visit – I take a gratitude walk. I STOP and start listing all of the things I am grateful at the MOMENT – no matter how large or small. For me, this closes the door on the negative thoughts and helps me to focus on the positive things in my life.

What is your “I’d be happy if” statement? Let’s change it from a negative to a positive…

Here is one of my favorite songs by Laura Story…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!