Unclutter Your Life

WOMEN ROCK!

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Do I have your attention?  When did it become ok for women to put everyone else’s needs first?  Admit it, we all do it.  As a result, we are frustrated, grumpy, tired and not getting anything done on our list.

It happens because we as women wear many hats – wife, mom, daughter, business owner, employee, taxi driver (you know the mom taxi) and the list goes on. It seems everyone needs us.

In order to avoid conflict and not hurt anyone’s feelings we neglect our own needs and put ourselves on the back burner.  This is not emotionally or mentally healthy. Many of us have become a people pleasers.

There are five things you can start doing NOW to make your needs a priority without feeling guilty.

#1 START SAYING NO

Did you know every time someone asks you to do something, you’re not obligated to say yes?  I know a novel concept, right?  You have a right to say no if it’s not something you really want to do. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation, NO is a complete sentence.

We struggle with this because we don’t want to disappoint anyone and we want to keep peace.  The truth is when we say yes every time someone asks us to do something we are saying no to what we want to accomplish. We get stuck when we say yes to everyone but ourselves. Ask yourself, would the people you’re are constantly helping out do the same for you?

I’ll admit this is challenging, however it gets better with time.  If people genuinely care about you they will respect your response.

#2 SET BOUNDARIES

We have a tendency to spread ourselves too thin and we end up blaming others instead of taking responsibility for our actions.

“A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.” If you don’t set boundaries, you can’t be mad when people cross the line.

Start setting boundaries by being honest with yourself and acknowledging how you feel. Pay attention to what’s causing you to feel like boundaries have been crossed. Acknowledge those emotions, even if it is hard.  If you feel like someone has crossed the line, express how you feel to the person who you feel crossed the line. Be a grown-up and have an open, honest conversation.

#3 CREATE ME TIME

Yes, I can see the eyes rolling and with it comes the excuses.  Self-care is not optional, it is important for your personal growth.  When you think of self-care, you think of getting your hair done, retail therapy and mani/pedis, right?  Self-care is more about taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health.

Practicing self-care isn’t selfish, you deserve to block time for you the same way you block time for everyone else.

#4 DUMP THE HEAD TRASH

Did you know we have 50,000 thoughts per day?  Of those thoughts, how many negative thoughts race through on any given day?  When you feed your brain negativity then you can’t produce anything positive.

You are good enough. You are capable of great things. You’re not too old. You’re not too young. You don’t have to be defined by your past. You’re not a failure.  You become what you believe and it’s up to you to begin to shift your thinking.

When you have a negative thought switch it to something positive.  Start affirming the woman you want to become.

#5 MAKE A HAPPY LIST

Do you know what makes you happy? What brings you joy each day?  I don’t know about you but I struggle answering this.  I challenge you to create a list of 50 things that make you happy and be intentional every day to do something off your list. It doesn’t have to be anything big just whatever brings you joy.

Here’s what makes me happy (not in any particular order): Starbucks, the beach, family, doing puzzles, road trips… you get the picture, right?

So I want you to

Say yes to your dreams.

Say yes to your goals.

Say yes to putting you first.

Say yes to doing things that make you happy.

Say yes to change.

Say yes to loving yourself.

Say yes to living the life you were created to live.

Say yes to being free.

If you want to practice some self-care, come visit me tomorrow at the Asbury Park Convention Hall at the WOMEN ROCK event….

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It’s a free event full of information, shopping and just hanging out with some of your friends.  Hope to see you there.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Clear the Clutter

Key to Help Lower Your Daily Stress

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The school year is winding down.  The kids are already complaining that there is nothing to do.  Work is crazy.  You are juggling more balls than you ever did.  STRESS!

Did you know that “Stress is your resistance to what’s happening”?  That’s right, you are refusing to accept the what is happening.  Instead, you worry and think what shoulda, coulda or woulda happen.  Some would say that stress is just a mindset which can be changed.

The truth is you can conquer daily stress by simply living in the present – just BE here now.  Let go of what you think your life is supposed to look, and simply appreciate it for everything that it is.  I know, easier said then done, right?

Here are some tips on how to reduce your stress from the book “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”:

  • Trust your intuition. You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to everyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it often knows best.
  • Firmly decide what matters and what doesn’t.  Stress comes from the way you react, not the way life is.  Inner peace begins the moment you choose to be mindful by not allowing another person or event to dominate your emotions.
  • Take a deep breath when you need one. You don’t have to solve every problem in your life before you can enjoy being at peace.
  • Keep sanity in your schedule. Say “no” sometimes to good things so you can say “yes” to important things. We can’t do it all so choose wisely.
  • Practice gratitude. Here is that Law of Attraction thing again.  Look for reasons to be grateful, and see them everywhere. Remind yourself how fortunate you are at this moment. The more you appreciate it, the better it’ll be.
  • Detach yourself from the habit of taking things personally.  This has been the hardest thing for me to learn.  Did you know that if you take everything personally, you’ll remain offended for the rest of your life? The truth is that what other people do is often because of them, not you.  As I was once told, “it isn’t all about you”!
  • Focus on the positive. Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time – it’s about accepting what happens every time, and making the best of it. In other words, a sincerely positive attitude is an expression of the way you choose for things to be.
  • Practice patience as you work for your desires.  In a world filled with instant gratification, we must learn the value of patience and perseverance.
  • Spend time with supportive, loving people. Being happy is directly related to the quality of people who you surround yourself with every single day. Yup, the Law of Attraction again.

Whatever is happening in your life right now… The key it NOT to beat yourself up! No matter what!

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Are you struggling with life and has stress got the best of you?  That’s okay.  Be patient with yourself. It years to form these habits, routines and life situations that are creating stress in your life.  There is NO magic wand that will wipe it all away.  It will take some time to make changes.

But I promise you: Even the smallest step in the right direction today will bring you some peace. Take that step. And then take another one tomorrow.

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In what way do you need to lower your daily stress? What is creating needless stress in your life? Share your thoughts with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

Business Lessons

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This past weekend I connected with members of the Class of 1975 from OTHS at our 40th Reunion.  As we looked at graduation pictures, reminisced about days gone by, I realized something…… I was different.  In the past, I would have clung to the old thoughts of who was in what “clique” in HS and what someone would think of me, my business and my life.  This time is was different, I drove to the reunion with a confidence that I have not had in this type of situation before.  Why?  Because I am the CEO of my own business.  Okay, so maybe it isn’t that simple but I truly believe that it has helped in me growing as a person and as a result having success in my business.

I have a new respect for me and my business.  In the past, I was shy about telling people about my direct sales business.  I mean most people look at the “home party business” as a hobby and truthfully despite saying the words – I think deep down, I did too.  Are you ready to get gut honest about YOUR business and what you think of it?  On the surface, you work your business like a business but deep down, do you think “this won’t last” or “it is fun for now”?  Do you believe it is a career or just something to pass the time until something else comes along?

I have gained CONFIDENCE and I feel good about who I am.  My life’s journey may not look like others but it is mine and I am proud of all that I have accomplished.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  When I shared about my business this weekend I talked about “honoring others positive energy with a variety of products for you, your family, your home and your business”.  Those that were interested asked questions, if they weren’t they just smiled and said “that’s nice”.  It was okay because I LOVE my products and I know that they have value.  Thank you Eryka Peskin for teaching me how to celebrate the inner gremlins so that I can squash them.

I learned how to celebrate successes.  Large or small, it doesn’t matter they are YOUR successes.  Not what others see as success and not other’s goals.  I LOVE celebrating my customers, my hostesses, and my team for orders, birthdays and milestones of all kinds. So why didn’t I celebrate my own successes.  I usually let them pass by without considering their significance or achievement.  What about you, do you celebrate your successes and if so, how?  I CELEBRATE at least 3 things every day NOW and as a result my perspective changed.  I share the positives with the Universe and in return, I receive more positive things. Did you know that if you don’t celebrate your successes, you have a higher chance of burning out or being left with the question of “why am I doing all of this?”  Who wants that, right?

Last but not least — and perhaps the most important lesson of all — I learned to be utterly genuine. Yes, I still have a prideful streak.  Yes, I still play the comparison game on occasion. I have learned that when I genuinely share my strengths, hope and experiences that doors open up.  People begin to put value in what you say and do – even if it is a “purse thing”.  So, I always try to be kind and genuine, and offer value to to my customers.

What have you learned from running your own business?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

Hello, my name is….

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Picture this: you’ve just met someone at a conference or the local grocery store. You’re chatting as you both introduce yourselves.   Maybe a new friend?  The dreaded question always comes:

So, what do you do?

For some the answer is easy, I am an accountant/teacher/writer, I work at the hospital, I am retired – you get the idea.  For others of us in non-traditional jobs, the question can be a agonizing.  If you’re anything like me, you cringe thinking about the times when you stumbled over your words trying to muster up an answer.

Usually, it is “I have my own business”.  Okay, not bad but then comes “What kind of business?” This is where I stumble.  I mean we are  more than just purses, right?   I know, where is my 30-second elevator speech, right?

I love what I do and I am the CEO of my own business.  I have office hours, appointments outside the office, have a budget, draw a salary and have an awesome team.  So why is it so hard to tell people what I do?  Mainly because I have pre-judged what they are going to think.

Thank you to The Nectar Collective  for some great tips.  Here are some of the samples they provided:

 

 

Instead of saying you’re a blogger, try, “I run an online website geared toward helping creative entrepreneurs build their dream business.”

Instead of saying you’re a freelance designer, try, “I help small businesses build a strong web presence through design and consulting services.”

Instead of saying you have a jewelry store on Etsy, try, “I own a jewelry business that’s focused on environmental sustainability. We only use recycled products in our designs.”

The key is to focus on what sets you apart and how your business adds value to the people it serves. Not only will this make you more memorable to new friends and peers, it will also deepen your conversation and give you the opportunity to elaborate further on what you do.

So, how does this work for me:

I “honor others positive energy” with a variety of products  for you, your friends, your family, and your home.

KISS – Keep it Simple Sister.  Use words that the average person is familiar with. Focus on ways to communicate your work in a clear, easy-to-understand way.

Practice! Practice! Practice!  Now, I don’t mean just reading it.  I mean SAY IT!  Repeat! Repeat! Repeat!  Simply reading it just isn’t enough to introduce yourself and mean it. Do it so much that it becomes natural.  Try this: every morning when you’re getting ready in front of the mirror, push your shoulders back, stand up straight, and say your elevator speech. The more you practice, the more natural and effective it will be when someone at your local coffee shop strikes up a conversation with you. This time, friend? You’ll be ready.

So, what are you going to do?  First thing is to figure out the value you provide to others.  What makes you different.  How do you help others? Who do you help?

Then put it into just a few short sentiences using words that the average person will be familiar with, especially if you are in a field that people don’t know much about.  Finally, PRACTICE!  Then continue to practice it for a minute each day until it becomes second nature.

I’d love to hear your new introduction! Share it in the comments below. What do you do, friend?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

Accept the Moment

Fall

WOOHOO Wednesday!  It is the first of October and we are heading into my favorite times of year.  Although I dislike cold, I do like the leaves changing color, the cooler nights to snuggle up with hubby and the chance to leave the windows open in the house to let in the clean fresh air.

I woke up this morning with a can do attitude, ready to conquer the world.  The month is full of hone parties, vendor events and networking opportunities – a chance to start fresh. Out with the slow months and into a busy shopping season.  I found an old blog that reminded me that I could “have a happy future by accepting the present”.  I know, you have heard it all before, right?

I have heard people talking about manifesting their future – when you make what you want come true.  I used to spend a lot of time focusing on the fact that things weren’t coming true the way that I wanted them to and my dream was not working.  Then someone happened to point out the millions of opportunities that were around me that I was missing.  I was focusing on fulfilling my dream by doing it just like someone else instead of seeing all of the possibilities that were in front of me.

What you truly want can only come to fruition by working with the present moment.  Some days go exactly as planned while others you may have to make “lemonade out of lemons” but how you react is the key to finding that happiness.

Do you find yourself saying these things (out loud or in your head):

“Life isn’t fair.”

“I never get what I want.”

“Why me?”

“When am I going to catch a break?”

What are the results of these thoughts?  Negative Nellie visits and you have a pity party, right?  The negative thoughts bring on negative strategies and as a result you are left feeling lost, hopeless and stuck.  How does your weight loss program go when you call yourself fat?  Has the constant chant of “I never have any money”, made you rich? You are resisting the present and creating more of exactly what you don’t want in your life.

ACCEPT what is and focus more on seeing the possibilities instead of the limitations. Get creative so you can see solutions, feel hope and maybe even find some peace.  CELEBRATE and appreciate what you have even when you don’t feel like it.  Here are some ways to do just that:

Remember it’s okay to feel it.  Your emotions are there to be felt, seen, and heard. There’s no sense pushing them away, avoiding them, or pretending they don’t exist because they will find a way to come out eventually.  I love this one!

Feel your emotions and then release them.  I know some days it is easier said then done.

Find a positive result in whatever is occurring.  Even if it feels completely and utterly negative, I promise you, there’s at least one positive result.  Unfortunately, you may not find it in the moment but when you reflect on it, there is always one.

Saying “thank you” out loud is so powerfully simple.  This helps me the most!  No matter what is happening – good, bad or otherwise, thank God for the lesson and believe me you will find a sense of calm and peace.

Do I guarantee that you will get exactly what you want all of the time?  No, but by doing this continually, you are actively creating more of what you want in every moment.  In with the good and out with the bad

So, I am off to create my AWESOME October by accepting the present and looking for possibilities around every corner.  What about you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!